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| LariLee | 2004.10.30 - 01:44PM | 19: I Should Have Been a Slytherin | Anonymous |
| Now, Ellie darling, does the world really need another blonde ferret running around? :-D I'm watching both the book and the dreams as well. Thoroughly entranced!
~Lisa Author's Response: No, it does not. ;) You are silly. I hope ch 20 will be up before the end of the day. No ferrets yet, just a dash of Snape. | |||
| rambkowalczyk | 2004.10.29 - 04:42PM | 10: Unofficial Marauder | Anonymous |
| As usual I have a few questions. First of all the only thing that bothered me about this chapter was that Ellie figured out that a particular dog was Sirius. I realize that if she told Dumbledore then too much of the plot of the third book would be destroyed. But then why have her figure it out at all? Maybe just have her remember afterwards. My nitpicking problem is that Snape would "never" not tell Dumbledore.
I suppose when I read on that I will understand why you changed the shrieking shack incident from June to Jan. Is Buckbeak alive? I assumed that she went to bed thinking he was dead, then she sensed the timeturner work went to the whomping willow, verified a few facts and then let Harry2 and Herm2 rescue Buckbeak and Sirius.
Has she sensed time shift before in her life?
Thought the Mary Sue reference was amusing. Also liked the interplay with their past selves. Author's Response: My mind tends to wander, so I thought this format would help keep my thoughts straight. Sorry this is so long. First of all the only thing that bothered me about this chapter was that Ellie figured out that a particular dog was Sirius. Answers: Why did Ellie figure it out? 1) She knew he was an animagus and what form he took from when she was in school. 2) She knew the Dementors were looking for Sirius when she saw the dog disappear into the woods, but didn’t know it was him then. 3)She saw the dog at Quidditch practice. She put 1, 2, and 3 together, but it was only a theory that turned out to be right. I realize that if she told Dumbledore then too much of the plot of the third book would be destroyed. But then why have her figure it out at all? Maybe just have her remember afterwards. My nitpicking problem is that Snape would "never" not tell Dumbledore. Dumbledore: 1) Snape did not know for certain if his wife was right. 2) He is bound by the Fidelius Ritual to his wife 3) If someone actually got hurt, Ellie would have gone to Dumbledore himself, or would allowed Snape to tell him. I suppose when I read on that I will understand why you changed the shrieking shack incident from June to Jan. This is a toughie: I hated to change the date, but it fits my timeline a little better. I know, that is a weak excuse. Is Buckbeak alive? Has she sensed time shift before in her life? Buckbeak is dead. She has felt the timeline shift before, but that is later on. She didn’t want to meddle because she knew she shouldn’t be there, but she is a nosy little snit and wanted to see for herself. ###Liz Author's Response: You know, it wasn't January it was almost the end of the year when that happened in my story. I think I confused this with a different chapter. I also did a poor job of showing a time transition from after christmas break to the end of the year. Oop, sorry, I am a little dingy at times. :) Liz | |||
| Vocalion | 2004.10.29 - 04:16PM | 8: Werewolves and Murderers and Snapes, Oh My! | Anonymous |
| Poor Remus. Always the friend of the OC and never the love interest. At least not in this archive. I've never checked out Wolfsbane, but I can pretty much imagine the howling good time that must go on in there. Another fun chapter. I hope all keeps going well, but you may have other plans for them! Author's Response: I know, I love Lupin too, but the only man for me is Severus Snape. Maybe I will write a story for Wolfsbane? Can you imagine the clawmarks on one's back? That borders on beastiality! :) Liz | |||
| rambkowalczyk | 2004.10.29 - 03:59PM | 7: June | Anonymous |
| I missed this chapter the first time areound. It certainly explains why She disliked Lucius on her wedding day. I was so confused. What I really like about this chapter is that you are putting some of the mystery back in. I thought you had forgotten all about the evil guardians and what they were up to and more important now that they are dead, is she still in danger? Author's Response: Good afternoon :) I just sent you an email with my response and a bit of idle chatter. ###Liz | |||
| rambkowalczyk | 2004.10.28 - 12:47PM | 8: Werewolves and Murderers and Snapes, Oh My! | Anonymous |
| It takes me awhile to separate fan fic from canon. Since yours is a mixture I sometimes have to think about it for a while. The previous scene where Ellie takes the blame for the explosion of Gryffindor tower bothered me for a while but I am now reconciled to it. (I needed to see this separate from canon) It is an interesting idea how for a moment that Both Malfoy and Potter tried to take responsibility for it. Having skipped ahead I can see you are taking this story to places I never expected. Give me time to adjust. Author's Response: You have all the time in the world:) When I was deciding whether or not to write this story, I decided to categorize it my mind as such : A Fantasy based on what I have read. I honestly apreciate your opinions and really mean it when I say thank you for reading and reviewing. ### Liz | |||
| Vocalion | 2004.10.28 - 10:39AM | 7: June | Anonymous |
| Well, I like this chapter, and oddly enough, Ellie ordered the same things I always order in an Italian restaurant. Severus is extremely chivalrous, in this chapter at least. In present time, I mean. Author's Response: Chivalry... a long dead art form. Give the man a little bed action and watch him go (ha, ha). As a side note: I seriouslt considered removeing the restaurant scene because it is so, uhm, preposterous. But I figured, what the hell, I am already slaughtering JKR's magnificent works, so I might as well go all the way. ;) ###Liz Author's Response: I also wrote that scene after eating the aforementioned dish, which I adore. | |||
| Vocalion | 2004.10.27 - 11:13PM | 6: It Was All a Lie | Anonymous |
| "A shot of piss with a vinegar chaser." I love that line. And I could taste and smell the velvety fudge that Snape bought for Ellie. Any fanfic that includes references to fudge, (and I don't mean Cornelius), is A-OK with me. Just one question: Why does Harry address her informally as Ellie? I know she was friends with his parents, but she is a Hogwarts teacher now. Remus knew Harry's parents too, but I think Harry always addressed him as Professor Lupin. Just asking. No biggie. Your love scene was very tasteful and restrained. Smut is all well and good, but I much prefer the tenderness that you portray. Of course, you've probably got some angsty bad stuff coming up, right? Author's Response: Unless I am mistaken, and I am very often, she tells Harry and his friends to call her Ellie when no one is around when she is in the common room after returning from Christmas Holiday (CH2). In many ways Ellie is just a big kid herself. As for the smut...It all goes back to the first love thing. Being in love with someone for so many years deserves a sex scene with passion and dignity. I do love really lemony smut, but there is only a touch of it in this story. I really really hat to say it, but this story borders on sappy many, times. One of the reasons I wrote SJones was for a different side of Snape and his nasty, wild, demanding, pornographic sex! LOL. There is angst in this story from time to time (and possibly horribly angsty at the end; depending on which ending I post) but it is not the main flavor in this potion. :) ###Liz | |||
| rambkowalczyk | 2004.10.27 - 06:24PM | 6: It Was All a Lie | Anonymous |
| Here is my problem. I can't believe that Dumbledore can't/won't do anything about what had happened to Ellie. Hopefully this can be explained later on otherwise here is my constructive criticism. Does Ellies abuse need to leave physical scars and injuries. If most of the damage was done to her Psych or emotional health instead of her physcal health I might be able to live with a Dumbledore who is so obtuse.
The other thing I find surprizing is that you don't describe Snape's home life which also seems to have a similar amount of abuse. Since Snape would be used to a terrible behavior from his family then what Ellie did would be just reinforcing his low self esteem. Author's Response: That is a problem, isn't it. Nearly all of this will be explained in later chapters, including Dumbledore's seeming lack of concern and Snape's homelife and what he thought and did after Ellie left him. I'm sure there are some plot holes but I will attempt to fill them in. Bear with me here...The magic of the curse which bound Ellie to the Squibs was not able to be broken by wizards, even as wise and omnipotent as Albus. There is something very strange about Ellie's life that will be explained. I am very glad that you have taken the time to think about the story and also taken the time to review. I must warn you that you probably won't like the way parts of the story progress and how some of the characters fluctuate in and out of character from time to time, but I do hope you will not give up on it. I look forward to your reviews in the future.### Liz Author's Response: I also forgot to mention that some of the lack of details (like points of view from the other characters) is due mainly to the way that this story is written: From Ellie's eyes. Toodles###Liz | |||
| Vocalion | 2004.10.27 - 02:23PM | 5: My Little Secret | Signed |
| Snape is so sympathetic in this chapter. It's a shame he'll turn into a rotter again, at least I think he will. The love scene was very tender. Author's Response: First loves are always the most exciting...I know I still have a soft spot in my heart for mine. Severus still thinks of Ellie much the same way he did while they were in school, and treats her differently because of it. Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is not. :)###Liz | |||
| Vocalion | 2004.10.27 - 01:12PM | 4: Written in My Heart | Anonymous |
| This was a fun chapter, with prats Padfoot and Prongs very much IC. I love the enchanted journals. A clever idea. Author's Response: I absolutley adore the Marauders, with the exception of Wormtail, of course. I cried for a long time when JKR killed off Sirius. God, that was sad. In my heart of hearts I hope he miraculously returns because Harry needs him! The journal are reminicent of Tom Riddle's Diary, but not quite the same. Sev and Ellie can be much more free to express themselves this way. I am on my way to read your story now, so I shall see you in script.###Liz | |||
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