Chapter 6: Morning’s Musings


The next morning there was a knock on Sybill’s door. She groaned loudly, but she was sure that whoever was on the other side of the door could not hear her. Sitting up, she took her wand off her beside table and waved it at the door.

“Come in!” she yelled and immediately grabbed her head.

Severus came into her room a moment later. He held out a small vial.

“Drink this,” he told her.

She took it and downed it without a word. The potion worked immediately, and Sybill’s head cleared.

“Thank you,” she said as she cleared the taste of the potion out of her mouth by snapping her tongue a few times. She noticed she was still wearing the same green robe that she had worn the other night. It smelled of scotch.

“Finally lucid?” Severus asked.

Sybill looked embarrassed. “Thank you for leading me home last night. I probably would have wandered the halls all night if you hadn’t.”

“Your singing would have awakened someone, and they would have shooed you back here. Your voice is awful!”

“Thank you. I pride myself on my singing voice,” Sybill said with a smirk.

“The Weird Sisters are quaking in their boots,” Severus said with an equal smirk of his own.

Sybill laughed.

“Are you still upset about your tea leaves?” Severus said abruptly as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Of course I am! I saw the Grim!” She changed her voice to her deeper one and leaned forward a little. “I am in grave danger!”

Severus scowled. “Well, at least you can joke about it. Do you remember what I told you last night?”

“Was it something along the lines of reading tea leaves is a bunch of bunk?”

“Yes, I believe that’s close to what I said,” Severus said tartly.

“I remember.” She eyed him for a while. “Of course you’re right. My entire family only ever turned to tea leaves as a last resort. I’m so used to using them now as a part of my alter-ego. I just went to them out of habit. I’ve turned myself into a true charlatan, haven’t I?” She looked to Severus with a small, rueful smile.

“Sybill, you are not a charlatan. Your actions this past week have more than shown that.”

Sybill’s mouth dropped open. “You really believe me? You, of all people?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Severus asked sternly.

“You hate Divination. You think it’s ridiculous!”

“I thought you were ridiculous. Have you ever met Madam Darvey? She’s a fascinating woman. You remind me of her now, actually.”

“Madam Darvey? She taught me to crystal-gaze when I was a child. She is amazing, as you say.”

“She has a remarkable sixth-sense,” Severus agreed.

“She used to always say ‘Are you in the beyond?’ to center us. She would say it, but not as a hare-brained idiot, whenever we worked with our crystal balls. I’m afraid I’ve ruined the reference with my take on it.” She giggled.

Severus rolled his eyes at her. “If you never uttered those words again, I would die a happy man.”

Sybill narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m sorry, I can’t promise you that. It’s just too much fun to blurt out in the middle of dinner. There’s something about everyone eyeing me as if I’ve lost it that I find quite appealing.”

“You really are a loon, Sybill Trelawney.”

“Thank you, you’re so kind!” Sybill drawled.

Severus only shook his head.

“Severus, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes, you’ll just read my mind anyway, so go ahead,” he replied tartly.

Sybill stiffened. “I’m really sorry about that, Severus. I wasn’t in control last night, and it was out of line.”

Severus sniffed. “Forget about it,” he snapped.

Sybill looked down, filled with embarrassment.

“Your question, Professor?”

She gazed back up at him. “You seem to be more easygoing since the end of the war. Do you feel more at peace?”

Severus furrowed his brow in thought. “I am relieved that the war is over. I’m not sure I would label it peace. Like you, Sybill, I lived behind a mask of what I needed to be to survive. I too am working to shed that mask. I am trying to be more like the man I would have wanted to be before becoming a secretive spy. Does that make any sense?”

Sybill nodded and smiled at him. “It makes perfect sense. I’m glad you can be yourself, finally.”

“I suppose that, in a small way, I have you to thank for it.”

Sybill looked at Severus curiously. “Why do you say that?”

“Just something you said last night. It was something about giving myself some freedom. I have been so obsessed with everything that has happened in my past that freedom has not been anything I could even fathom for the longest time. With the end of the war came new possibilities. I hope to take advantage of those possibilities.”

Severus looked at her. She could definitely understand what he was saying. She was living the same thing herself. He suddenly found an affinity with Sybill Trelawney that he never thought could be possible. He flashed a smirk at her.

“I’m glad you have been able to take advantage of those same freedoms too,” Severus remarked. “You shouldn’t think of drowning yourself in alcohol anymore. It serves no purpose.”

Sybill nodded. “I know.” She looked down. “I’m really embarrassed. I don’t know what got into me. It was like a chain reaction. Read the tea leaves, get sodded: typical Trelawney behavior.”

“But you’re not that Trelawney any more. You need to remember that.”

Sybill looked down at her fingers. “You’re right, I do.”

“So, then we agree that you will never touch a bottle of alcohol again?” he demanded sternly.

“I promise,” Sybill answered as she looked back at Severus.

“I will hold you to that, witch. No matter how funny of a drunk you are, I prefer to see you as yourself.”

Sybill leaned back against the headboard of her bed and folded her arms. “I’m still trying to find out exactly who ‘myself’ is.”

“You seem to be doing fine to me,” Severus admitted.

“Then I have you fooled. Half the time I’m trying to not freak out about something I’ve seen. The other half of the time I’m worried that everyone still thinks I’m that insane woman that I used to be.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Severus admonished. “Everyone has treated you well. The staff is talking to you and is friendly. What more do you want?”

“Of course, I should know not to confide in a reclusive man who could care less if he had a friend,” Sybill huffed and blew her bangs out of her vision.

Severus looked down. “I actually would like to have friends,” he remarked softly. “I was hoping that you were one of them. I have just been used to being so closed about my life for so long, that I am uncertain how to act around others.”

Sybill sat up straight again. She reached out and took Severus’ hand in hers. “I’m sorry,” she said seriously. “Of course you’re my friend. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself, I guess. Will you forgive me?”

Severus stared at her hand holding his and then looked up at her. “I believe that’s what friends do. Of course, I have little experience in the matter,” he said, a bit sarcastically.

Sybill looked down. “You seem to be doing a much better job than I am at the moment.”

“Sybill,” Severus called. Sybill looked back up at him. “You need to stop worrying so much. Take things as they are, and stop trying to read into them. If someone is nice to you, then they are probably not cursing you behind your back. I understand how hard that can be, because for most of my life it is how I thought. The spy in me taught me to never trust anyone and to question any niceties that ever came my way. Fortunately, with the war over, those suspicions can mostly be left behind. I too am trying not to jump to conclusions about other’s motives. I have been attempting to do so since leaving the infirmary, at least. I find that I am successful only about a third of the time.”

“That’s probably a better average than mine. You see, Severus, that’s what I do. I read people, I read the future, and I look into things, searching for hidden meanings.”

Severus carefully took his hand back, as he thought of a response to her. “Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment,” he said finally. “Sometimes a smile is not trying to catch you off guard. On occasion, people actually say what they mean, instead of trying to hide their motives. You should see things as they are. You have friends, and they are not talking behind your back. Believe me, if they were, I would have heard them.”

“It seems that you have done a lot of soul searching since leaving the hospital ward, Severus. Thank you. I will try to not worry so much.”

“That would probably be the best for all parties concerned. No one wants to see you wig out or drink yourself into a stupor again.”

Severus rose. “I should be going. I need to speak with the Headmistress.”

“You’re not going to rat me out, are you?”

“I’m sure she heard you screaming last night. Wait, I think you called it . . . singing?”

Sybill threw her pillow at him. He caught it and threw it back, slamming her in the face.

“I warn you now; you cannot win in a pillow battle against me!” Severus said darkly.

Sybill got up and went over to him, slamming the pillow on top of his head. He wrestled it from her and began to slam her with it. Sybill retreated to the bed and grabbed another pillow. They fought for several minutes, until one of Severus’ blows sent Sybill crashing to the floor. Severus dropped the pillow and bent down to help her up. Sybill was laughing hysterically, which helped Severus’ chagrin at knocking her down.

“Are you all right?” he asked with concern.

Sybill couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m fine,” she finally spit out.

“You sound as if you’ve been hit with a laughing hex,” he said dryly.

Sybill laughed some more. “I just would never picture you to involve yourself in a pillow fight. That’s all.”

“You will find that I am willing to involve myself in many surprising things, now that I can be myself.”

“I think I like this new you, Severus,” Sybill said with a smile.

“And I like the new you, Sybill.”

Severus turned and bid her farewell, leaving her still chuckling as he walked out the door.

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Next up: Sybill plans for the future.

Thank you, Lilith Kayden, for checking my work over so thoroughly. Thank you, dear readers, for sticking with this and reviewing it so nicely.