Chapter 5: Visions in a bottle

Severus Apparated to Malfoy Manor. The family was awaiting trial, but everyone felt that they would be let off because of Narcissa’s saving Harry Potter’s life. Severus strode to the door and knocked. A small house-elf answered within minutes.

“Is Lucius home?” he asked.

The house-elf shook his head.

“What about Narcissa?”

“The lady is in.”

“Well, may I speak with her?” Severus said through gritted teeth.

“Of course, Master Snape.”

Severus strode past him and into the study. Soon Narcissa came through the doors and greeted him with a smile.

“Severus, what can I do for you?”

“Where is Lucius?” Severus demanded.

“I don’t know. He left a couple days ago. I haven’t heard a word from him.”

“Does he have a death wish?” Severus asked caustically.

“What are you on about, Severus?”

“He is plotting with Lestrange. I need to find the both of them before they kill someone or get themselves killed!”

“No, Severus, Lucius has left that life behind him. He assured me . . .”

“His word is worthless, Narcissa, even you know that. I tell you, he is up to no good. Do you have any idea where he might be?”

Narcissa looked at him evenly. “I have no idea.”

“If you find out, owl me please. It is urgent.”

Narcissa debated her options. She finally nodded her head in the affirmative to Severus. He gave a slight nod of his own head and turned and left.

oooOOOooo

Severus entered the castle and was about to descend the stairs to the dungeons when something grabbed his attention. It was singing. Horrible singing that was coming from one of the floors above him. Curiosity overcame him and he sought the voice. Climbing the stairs, he stopped on the next floor. The singer was female and she was singing on top of her lungs.

“Welcome to the Hotel California! Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.”

Severus smirked and went down the hall, looking for the song abuser. He found her quickly. Sybill Trelawney stumbled forward, an empty bottle of scotch in her hand, singing on top of her lungs.

“In the master’s chambers, they gather for their feast. They stab it with their steely knives but they just can’t kill the beast!”

“Sybill,” Severus said, his face filled with mirth.

Sybill turned to him and continued singing. “Last thing I remember, I was running for the door. I had to find the passage back to the place I was before.” She grabbed Severus’ robes. “Relax, said the night man, we are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!” Her plaintive song ended in a wail.

“I thought you gave up drinking,” Severus said with amusement.

Sybill came up close to Severus’ face. Her speech was a bit slower than usual and slightly slurred. “I gave up a lot of things, Severus: stupidity, craziness, a false sense of security. Where did it get me? On a death list! Even Dumbledore can’t save me now. Him and his stupid schemes... Here, Sybill, act like a lunatic. No one will expect a lunatic to know anything. Go bonkers! The worse the better. That’s it, puppet, dance for me! Join Severus. He’s my puppet too! He’s gonna kill me and be hated by everybody! Isn’t that a great plan! Won’t that solve everything?”

“Sybill,” Severus said calmly.

“Don’t! Don’t defend him. Did he tell you he cared about you? That’s what he told me as he changed my looks into that ugly, batty woman!” Sybill pointed at herself and stumbled sideways. “He did it for me, he told me. What did he tell you, Severus, as he destroyed your life? Was it for your own good? Was it to further the cause? The only cause he ever furthered was his own, the old geezer!”

“Sybill,” Severus said a bit more loudly.

“Eighteen years I lived like a shell. Now I can finally be myself and those stupid Death Eater’s are going to kill me.”

“Sybill, I will not let that happen!” Severus said tersely.

Tears ran down her face. “I read the tea leaves. I saw the Grim. I’m doomed!”

“Tea leaves are an absurdity!”

“No, they’re not!”

“What respectable Seer truly uses them?”

“Well, there’s . . .”

“Did your great-great-grandmother use them?”

“No, she thought they were hogwash, but . . .”

“Utter nonsense, right?”

“But . . . I saw . . .”

“Nonsense!”

“Severus!”

Severus’ hands grasped her arms. “Sybill, snap out of it! You’re drunk! Go to bed, for Merlin’s sake, and we’ll talk in the morning. Wherever did you get that scotch anyway? I thought you poured it all down the drain.”

Successfully distracted, she concentrated on the new topic. “I forgot one!” she said with a huge smile as she lifted the bottle to show off her prize.

“I see. Let me help you up to your room.”

“But you live down there,” Sybill pointed to the floor.

“I can go up the stairs and then go down to my room, it’s no trouble.”

“Yes, it is. Up is not down!”

Severus almost laughed. “You’re right. Let’s just go up.”

Sybill looked straight up. “But there’s just a ceiling up there. Oh, right, you can fly, huh?” Her eyes widened at him. “Someone was talking about that.” Sybill’s voice was a reverent whisper at her last musing.

Severus rolled his eyes. “We’ll fly another day. Let’s just take the stairs, okay.”

“Right!” she said slowly, her finger pointed in the air. Taking a step away from Severus, she stumbled and almost fell. Severus grabbed at her and steadied her.

“How about I just put my arm around you for support, Sybill.”

She laughed. It was rather melodious for a woman drunk off her behind.

They proceeded to the stairway and up the many staircases to her room.

“I should let my hair grow long. Then I can just toss it out the window and you can climb it and visit me, Severus.”

“Sounds like a marvelous idea, Sybill.”

She looked at him in incredulity. “Really?”

“No.”

Sybill frowned. “You are such a party pooper!”

“So I have been told,” he said drolly.

She laughed again. Her emotions were on a roller coaster. “It’s quite endearing.”

“Sybill, I swear, if you call me endearing ever again, I will give you to the Death Eaters.”

Sybill stopped laughing. A look of fear crossed her face. Severus knew he had made a mistake in bringing that up again. Why did he have such a big mouth, and why couldn’t he keep his sarcasm in check in front of this drunken mess he was escorting?

“I was just kidding,” he said quickly. “I would never do such a thing.”

Her face looked drawn. “It doesn’t matter. They will find me.”

“I said we would speak of this in the morning. Now pick a cheerier topic.”

“Hagrid is going to ask Madame Maxime to marry him.”

Severus looked to Sybill. “Where did you hear that?”

“I was reading the cards this morning. They told the whole story. Isn’t that exciting?”

“I suppose. They make a rather large couple.”

Sybill hit Severus lightly on the chest.

“Oh, Severus, where’s your romance? Everyone deserves someone who can make them happy.”

Sybill stared at Severus for a few seconds, then continued, “Yes, even you,” she chided him.

“I thought you didn’t read minds unless given permission.”

Sybill clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, gosh! I’m sorry,” she gushed. “It must be the alcohol. I’m sorry, it will never happen again!”

“Until you’re drunk again.”

“That won’t happen again, either. I’m not very fond of this feeling.” Sybill frowned and rubbed her stomach.

“You do look a bit green.”

Sybill laughed again. “Do I match my eyes?” She batted her eyelids at him.

Severus looked into her eyes. They were a deep, clear green. “Did you change your eye color too?” he asked.

“Can you imagine looking into these eyes when they are as big as saucers? I wasn’t supposed to call attention to myself, remember?”

“So you cavorted around in a shawl and tons of beads. That was sure to not attract attention,” Severus said dryly.

“Crazy loon attention was one thing,” she slurred and then hiccupped. “Deep, green-eyed attention was certainly another.” Pointing a finger at her face, she got close to Severus’. “My eyes had to look stupid too.”

“I see,” Severus said with a bit of sadness in his voice.

“What?” she asked him.

“I’m sorry you had to act so unlike yourself, Sybill. It’s all my fault.”

“Sweet of you to say, Severus, but it was Albus’ fault, not yours.”

“If I hadn’t heard the prophecy . . .”

“Didn’t we have this conversation once before?” she asked him point blank. Her words seemed to jumble together as she spoke.

“It doesn’t matter what you said before. I still feel guilty.”

Sybill stopped. She turned and looked at him. It was hard for her to focus on him, so she squinted.

“Don’t you have enough guilt swimming around in there?” She waved her finger at his head. “Let go, Severus. Just let go. None of it is your fault and any of it that was, you have more than made up for. Give yourself some freedom.”

With that, she waved her finger over his head, turned, and stumbled up the stairs. Severus steadied her and escorted her the rest of the way to her room. His chest was tight within himself. She was right, of course. He had been driven to do much of what he did. The horrid acts of his youth were now long gone, and he had atoned for them. Even the guilt he felt about killing Dumbledore was misguided. He had only been doing what the old man had asked, begged for, even. He had been a puppet, just like Sybill had said in her drunken state. He had danced for two masters, though, not just one. The horrid things he had done had left him a broken mess. Was that who he really wanted to be? Had he not suffered enough under the ministrations of two madmen? Perhaps it was time for him to move ahead with his life.

He was tired of being who he was: a dour, bitter, shell of a man. He had been riddled with guilt for the main part of his life. He glanced at Sybill. Although drunk as a skunk, the woman had been right. He needed to let it all go. Wallowing in guilt and self pity would not change the past. He had effectively changed his life years ago, but had been unable to rejoice in that fact, having been laden with grief and guilt about his actions as a Death Eater, culminating in his hand in Lily Evan’s death. Well, she had been dead for a good, long while now. He needed to shed that guilt and move on. He had loved her, she had left him. His love had turned to obsession, guilt, and shame and had overtaken his life. It was time to move on. She had moved on in life and in death. He needed to leave this obsession about her behind and purge the guilt he felt every minute of the day. It was destroying him more so than that giant snake had destroyed him.

He had decided that after his brush with death, it had been time to shed the evil Death Eater persona and become the person he would have liked to have become had his life not become such a mess. If only he could have foreseen the results of his foray into the Dark Arts when he was young and power hungry. Maybe he would be a much different man today. But that could not be changed. He could, however, change his attitudes. He had been trying to be a better man. That was all he had ever wanted for himself for the last twenty years or so, to be a better man. Nothing he had done, however, prior to now, had helped him to see himself as a better man, or had helped him to act as a better one. Now, with both of his taskmasters finally dead, he had a chance to live his life as he saw fit and to be the type of person that he wanted to be. But he was finding it challenging to change years of snappish behavior. It would take time. He would need to keep working diligently to become less heavy handed. But Sybill had changed overnight. Surely that gave him some hope for himself. If she could turn herself around in a matter of hours, he could certainly be a better person with time. He would need to continue trying, at least. He certainly wasn’t happy with who he was now.

Severus came back to the present to note that they had finally reached her door, and Severus saw to it that Sybill was comfortably lying down in her bed before he turned to leave her. He turned back quickly.

“Now, no more wandering the halls, Sybill, or you will have to deal with me and my wand.”

“Yes, Severus. I’ll be good.”

Severus nodded and left her to her stupor of dreams, having much to think about.

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A/N: Next up: A more sober chat.

Keep those reviews coming! I’m having a blast hearing your opinions on my reformed Sybill. Thanks to my beta, Lilith Kayden, who does a wonderful job and keeps me on the ball, and thanks to you for reading.