Disclaimer: The people and world used in this story are the creation and property of JK Rowling.

They ran into each other in Hogsmeade. It wasn't so odd for him to be there. He was visiting the Potions Master to confer on a research project he was doing. This particular branch of work involved meeting with Professor Slughorn at least twice a month. Her reasoning was a bit hazy. She and Potter were on the outs at the moment, yet another spat in their endless rounds of arguments and passion. She would be meeting a friend who was now a seventh year during Hogsmeade Weekend the next afternoon.

She smiled and her green eyes twinkled. He was lost, as always, and asked her to have a drink at the Three Broomsticks. The drink turned into dinner. Her eyes twinkled and sparkled and her hair shone. He sat and adored her, the harsh glint of his eyes changing to a shine under her influence. After hours of eating and drinking and talking together, they walked each other up the stairs.

They found themselves under mistletoe in the hallway. He was embarrassed and unsure.

“Lily, we don't have to--”

“Nonsense, Severus. Custom must be followed. Who knows what dire fate might await us if we don't?” She stood on tiptoe to reach her hands around his neck and tug his lips down to her own. Neither noticed the berry that fell from the bunch of mistletoe and slid down the collar of Lily's robe. Had they noticed, they would have laughed and scorned the Muggle legend about taking a mistletoe berry for fertility.

It was the heaven he had waited half his life for. He would kiss her until she pushed him away. She didn't push him away. Instead she took a step closer and nestled into his body. He found that his arms were around her and then they were moving, together, toward his room.

She started unfastening his robe. He should stop her, but he wasn't even sure what was happening, if it was really happening. She pushed the garment down his arms and then leaned back to smile up at him. He wasn't sure what she wanted until she took his hands and put them on the fastenings of her robe.

“Are—are you sure?” he asked breathlessly.

She kept smiling and nodded, then started working on the buttons of his clothing. He undid her robe and helped her out of it and then looked at her. Her dress set off a slim figure. They sat on the edge of the bed and kissed for a long time. Severus abandoned himself to the feel of her in his arms.

Hours later Severus woke, Lily clasped within his arms. They were completely naked and under the covers of his bed. He recalled the passion with which she had attacked him, setting aside his every protest and attempt to stop. Since he had been aware of such stirrings within him, he had dreamed of something like this with her. She had surpassed his every fantasy two, no, three times.

Shifting around, he looked at her. The cloud of reddish hair was everywhere, and he brushed it gently from her face. He wondered if she would be interested again and kissed her along her hairline.

“Hmm...James...” she sighed as she cuddled closer.

She kissed his throat and stroked his chest, seemingly eager for more, but with whom?

“Not James,” he whispered into her ear.

She looked into his face and the contentment he saw there changed to shock and—he looked above her hair. He didn't want to ruin last night by knowing she was horrified. He methodically closed the shutters around his heart as she disentangled herself from his body.

“Severus, I—“ She closed her eyes as the events of the previous evening came back to her.

“I understand,” he said, finally allowing himself to fully look at her. She was distressed. He tried to make it easy for her. Summoning his robe, he put it on and gathered some things together and then went into the bathroom to allow her some privacy.

“You can come out now,” she said after a few minutes.

He came and stood before her. She was dressed and composed.

“Lily, I'm sorry...” he started to say, insincerely.

She shook her head. “You tried to stop several times and I wouldn't let you. You were a great comfort to me, Severus, and I think I took advantage of you. I don't see this going any further, but I want you to know I don't regret it. Thank you, Severus.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek and then she was gone.

“Lily...?”

---

She pounded on his door early one Sunday morning in late January. He woke and put on a dressing gown, then opened the door, bleary-eyed. “Severus! I know you can fix this. You know a potion, don't you?”

“Wait, Lily. I'm still half asleep. Care for some coffee?”

She followed him into the kitchen. “Coffee would be bad for the—no, I don't want it. I want a potion, one that will solve my problem.”

He did not speak as he prepared his coffee. He sat down and took a sip, and then looked at her, where she was slumped at the table. “What problem would that be?”

“A baby.”

He spilled the next sip of his coffee all over himself. Cursing, he cleaned up and then looked at her. “Congratulations on your reunion with Potter.”

She was tracing the scratches in the surface of the table with her fingernail. “I haven't even seen James since before we—since before you and I—“ She looked up and took a deep breath. “Severus, it's your baby.”

He had to put the coffee cup down before he did more violence to it or himself. He had remembered and dreamed of each moment of that night with Lily since it happened, treasuring and gently wrapping his memories to keep. They would have to last him a lifetime and he would have to make do with them. The sudden thought that somehow the events of that night would live on brought a new joy to the memories, except that the mother of that life didn't want it.

“And you want to kill it? You hate me that much? You hate me so much that you want me to help you kill my own child?” Had he been asked before this conversation started, Severus Snape would not have considered himself particularly interested in having children of his own. With the reality in his face, however, he was certain that he wanted this child to live and thrive.

She opened and shut her mouth several times before saying, “Please, Severus, you don't understand. I got an owl from James the other day. He wants to see me. I think he wants to get back together.”

“Until when, Lily, how long before you fight yet again and break up?” Severus stood. “I see we're going to need to discuss this further. I should go get dressed. I'll be right back down.”

He went up the stairs and then entered his bedroom. He rested his head on his tall dresser for a moment, trying to absorb just the possibility of his own child. When he lifted his head, he saw her in the mirror. She was unfastening her robe and moving toward him.

“Just hold me, Severus. It's all so unbelievable.”

She maneuvered him to the bed and before he knew it she was kissing him the same way she had at the Three Broomsticks. He had not the chance to absorb that before he realized they were both naked, again, moving against each other in wild abandon. It was over before he really knew it had started and she was holding him to her and saying, “Please, Severus, I know you can make me the potion, please...”

He couldn't breathe. “Did you just fake that whole thing?”

She didn't answer. He looked into her face and saw the slightest bit of shame hiding behind the determination.

“I'm sorry, Lily, I can't. You know what my father was like. I cannot lift a hand against my own child. Somehow, I don't think you want to, either, or you would have taken the coffee I offered.”

Once again, he left for a different room, giving her some privacy and space. He wondered how she thought he would change his mind just for sex. Did she really think he would be satisfied with a quick shag and do whatever she wanted? For the first time, he wondered what her relationship with Potter was really like. He was interrupted from his thoughts by the slam of the front door.

---

He saw her a few months later, looking beautiful. She seemed fuller and richer to him, somehow. He couldn't be sure, but he thought that maybe she had gone ahead with the pregnancy. He had spent the time in between being elated and sick over the possibilities presented by the baby and her reaction to it. The thought that she had not ended the pregnancy filled him with a subdued joy. He met with a solicitor and quietly wrote up a will to include the possibility.

He saw her again in the spring and then into the summer, with lighter clothes, and it was obvious that she was indeed pregnant. He tried to owl her, to ask her to speak with him, but after the first two, she returned them all, unread. It seemed that his input as father was not wanted; for now he would be content to simply watch from afar and be on hand if she wanted him.

He found her on his doorstep in mid-September. She was still beautiful, but her face looked strained. Her time must come soon, and she was worn with the effort of carrying the baby. He brought her into the house and sat her in his most comfortable seat, helping her to put her feet up. He plied her with what food and drink she would take. Her appetite was minimal since there was little space for anything but the child.

She finally held up her hand to get him to stop fussing over her and spoke. “I wanted you to know that I've decided on a Muggle adoption for the baby. She'll have a great family, the couple sound wonderful, and it's just the simplest thing for everyone.”

“We could get married.”

Lily shook her head. “I want to go back to James, Severus. He doesn't know about any of this,” she said as she waved her hand at her belly. “I've had a lot of time to work through things and I think I'm ready to be with him for good, now. I think I know how to be a good wife, now.”

He didn't know how to respond to it. This was the biggest thing that was likely to happen to him, and she wanted to slide it out of the way as if it never existed. He shook his head in disbelief and spent a moment in reflection. He realized it was the best time to ask the question that had haunted him since the day she told him she was pregnant. “Lily, did you fake all of it? Even the night in Hogsmeade?”

She looked at him, her green eyes flickering with emotion. “No, Severus. That night was all genuine. It was incredible and I'm already jealous of the woman you will marry someday.”

“That woman could be you.”

“Oh, Severus--” Suddenly she gasped as her belly gave a lurch.

“Are you all right?” he asked, coming to her side to assist.

She smiled. “I'm used to it by now. The baby is moving. “Here.” She held his hand over the spot where he could feel a small hand or foot sliding along her tummy. He knelt beside her and marveled at the life within her that he had helped to create.

His face was close to hers and their hands were clasped together over their child. He looked into her eyes and kissed her. She gasped, but then kissed him back. She unfastened her robe to allow him access to her bare skin so that he could watch and touch the moving child. They kissed some more, and then some more again.

It took quite a few cushions and some clever positioning, but they were able to make love. Severus was sure that Lily's passion was real, and the look in her eyes assured him that her satisfaction was, as well. He looked after her comfort when they were done, hoping that it would convince her that he could be a good father and husband. She looked up at him tenderly.

“Please, Lily, don't you think we could try it? It seems I've wanted to be your husband all my life, and our child...” He tried not to choke up.

“Maybe,” she said, “maybe, Severus, I'll have to think about it.”

He had made a nest on the floor of the sitting room with blankets and cushions. It must have been comfortable because she yawned and curled into his body and then went to sleep. They lay that way for hours, until he felt a familiar burn start on his left arm. Kissing his loved one, Severus disentangled himself and started up the stairs to get his robe and mask.

“You can't be going to him, can you?”

“If I don't go, Lily, he will kill me.”

“And I can't marry a Death Eater.”

“Can we talk about it when I get back?”

“I don't know.”

The pain on his arm got stronger and he grimaced. “Please, Lily, just give me a chance. I'll be back as soon as I can.” He kissed her forehead.

He had to leave her behind, then. He had hoped for a quick job to do, but instead was taken to a place where he spent over a week doing tasks at the bidding of his master. Lily would be horrified by what he had to do, but the path to greatness was often hard. He hoped she would understand.

---

When he returned from his assignment, he found that she had put the cushions and blankets away. She was nowhere in the house. He went to her parents' house and was met at the door by her cross sister.

“She's out with James Potter, warming up the cold soup.”

“What about the child?”

“She was a little girl born the nineteenth and given for adoption. I don't think Lily ever looked at her. If it was your kid, I know I wouldn't.” With that last blow, Petunia slammed the door in his face.

A week later, Lily was at his door, trying not to smile too much. She and James would marry at the end of October. “I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Why so soon, Lily? You've barely recovered--”

“From what, Severus? There is nothing to recover from.”

“Giving birth is nothing? I know you don't think much of me, but the child is your daughter, too, Lily.”

Her smile faltered, showing itself for the cheap veneer it really was. “All right, I haven't recovered yet. Are you happy? I'm miserable that my baby is gone. I'm happy for her because she will have a marvelous life away from you and me and all of this, but I want my baby. Most of all, I want a baby that I can have with the man I love. I want a baby with James, and I want it as soon as possible. We're going to marry at the end of the month and start trying immediately for a child. I'm sorry, Severus. I know this will give you pain, but I cannot lie to you and tell you I love you. I have enjoyed our passionate moments together but that's all they amount to.”

She stood and kissed him and then moved toward the door. He had one last plea. “Why couldn't you let me raise our daughter, then? Can you at least give me the name of her adoptive parents?”

“Severus, I couldn't bear the idea of my child being raised by a Death Eater. The adoption is confidential. I don't think you can get the information about it. Trust me, it's better this way. Farewell, Severus.” She walked out the door and out of his life.

---

He saw the marriage announcement in the Prophet and when he next saw Lily she was hugely pregnant with his daughter's younger sibling. She seemed delighted with her husband. Her husband obviously worshiped her, which Severus reflected was a consolation. If she had to be taken from him for all time, at least the other man was trying to be worthy of her.

Severus managed to score a huge prize from his master by overhearing and repeating a prophecy. The inheritance his daughter would one day receive got that much larger. His world was slowly coming back together. He would watch and wait. At some point, he knew that the daughter of Lily Evans Potter and Severus Snape would be a student at Hogwarts. It was a safe gamble that she would somehow show her true lineage when she was.

The life Severus built for himself was shown to be a house of cards during the weeks after Harry Potter's birth. It became clear that Voldemort believed that this child was a mortal enemy to him. Severus recoiled at the thought that he himself had carried the information that had put his daughter's brother and mother in danger. He could only turn to one person for help: Albus Dumbledore.

He started a life of true intrigue at that point, working for his first master and yet truly working for and helping his new one. He watched over Lily from afar, willing her to be safe and to be careful. He watched the carelessness of Potter's friends, hoping they wouldn't slip up so badly as to cause disaster.

Disaster eventually came, killing Lily and her husband. Severus wished to die, too. Dumbledore told him that he needed to live and work for the eventual success of Harry Potter. At the mention of the boy, Severus recalled that he really needed to live and work for the future of the boy's sister. He quietly made up his mind and nodded, then went to work.

Years later Harry Potter would arrive at Hogwarts, in the same class as his half sister. Severus scanned the first years list to see if he could identify his daughter by name. He knew she was one of four or five girls listed as Muggle-born, but beyond knowing those girls' names, he could ascertain nothing.

He knew her immediately during her first Potions class. She constantly had her hand up and was only too eager to spout the answer to every question. He was surprised that none of the older teachers had caught on to Lily's self assurance and occasional conceit. He stopped for a minute to think about that assessment on his own part. Was Lily conceited? Odd that he had never before seen her that way.

He watched as the self-assurance developed into a moral confidence in her world view. She became a friend to the oppressed and helpless, even those who didn't want that sort of friendship. She was an inveterate goody-two-shoes, except very occasionally when she wanted to help those oppressed souls she had taken to heart or when her ire was highly raised. At those times she could be quite vengeful, acting quickly and decisively.

She had more of her mother than herself in him, personality wise, but her brilliance in school work was something he could take credit for. He spent hours secretly looking over her marks in every subject, smiling to himself that she would match his own accomplishments. It was a painful delight to teach her Potions, since he wanted to hug her to himself at the end of every brilliant day but dared not divulge what no one else living knew.

She never was as lovely as her mother, taking many of her features from his mother and Petunia of all people, although her own mother's facial expressions were often on her face. She also had a certain social ineptness that he could only claim as his own. Still, on the whole, she was a child in whom a father could be proud.

He watched the girl grow, a mixture of pride and fear mixed in his heart as she learned and developed friendships. Oddly enough, she had gravitated toward her brother. When they were fourth and fifth years, the father knew sleepless nights wondering if they would become romantically entangled and how he would break the news to them that it was an impossibility. Fortunately, and it was a scant bit of fortune; she seemed much more attached to the scion of a family of blood traitors. He wondered in passing if every father of a teenage daughter struggled with her suitors.

He watched his daughter grow, revising his will and making plans for a future when he could divulge to her the story of her true parentage. He worked for his true master and the one he claimed, working toward a day when his daughter's brother could triumph and they could have that future. He did everything the one master asked and appeared to do his best on his other master's demands. The confluence of those orders eventually left him a broken man.

One more year he worked, in solitude, wondering what was going on in the head of his daughter. She surely hated him, he knew, and yet he hoped that when she eventually knew all, she would at least understand what he had done and why. His will received one last revision and he waited for the day that would decide everything.

It wasn't what he expected, having the snake set upon him like that. If he had to die, he deserved to die standing and fighting alongside his true allies, with his true allegiances and motivations known. It was a shameful, deceitful end to a life that had known entirely too much deceit and shame. He lay on a wooden floor, feeling his life ebbing away, and regretted much.

And yet there was one comfort. He was able to carry out the last of Dumbledore's instructions for him. He was able to give Harry Potter the information he would need to finally conquer Voldemort. Further comfort came in the person of the girl looking over Potter's shoulder. As consciousness left him, his sight was held by the green eyes he loved in the face of Lily's son, and the look of concern Lily had always given him, on the face of their daughter.

Author's Note: Thank you to beta reader, Trickie Woo, who doesn't mind my somewhat odd turns of mind.