Occlumency :: A Severus Snape archive

Reviews for The Highest Value

Nadrek	2007.11.05 - 07:41PM	23: Changes	Signed
Interesting reaction from Albus. So, Severus has an acquaintance in Lily, a prospective new patron in Evans, a partial mentor in Filius and Poppy, a neutral party in Remus, the Gryffindors against him, most of the rest of the Slytherins against him, the Ravenclaws likely irritated with him, and the Hufflepuffs not mentioned. Permission to use the shield charm in public... and 2/3rds to 3/4ths of the school hexing him. On the up side, he gets along with Argus, as well. Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Oh, I hope Lily comes across as more than an acquaintance -- I envisioned her as Snape's first and best friend at Hogwarts. Nothing romantic, but still BFF.

crockywock	2007.09.25 - 07:31AM	23: Changes	Signed
I think I understood that he wanted to get away. Just not how much. You're right on the default answer. I think what works against you here is the readers knowledge of Severus's utter loathing of the Marauders and an awareness just how much he would hate apologising particularly to them. In my case, I remembered it so strongly that it outweighed my awareness of the fact that your Severus usually does exactly as he is told. Author's Response: Yes, if Severus actually had had to apologize, that would probably have been more humiliating to him than the original incident itself.

crockywock	2007.09.22 - 05:49AM	23: Changes	Signed
Just a few notes here. Sort of double narrative and definitely double wording at "...pleased to hear about... Avery had been unsettled to hear about..." in the first paragraph. For the reader, I think it would be important to hear what exactly made Severus agree to the public apology. This part of the story constitutes an important change in Severus's attitude and character, which is important to be told from inside him. Firewhiskey at the age of 15? O_o Ok, realistic, I suppose. Wouldn't the Marauders use "Padfoot" by now, not "Siri"? Double wording with "...refilled the other boy's glass... Peter's glass..." Why does Severus agree to being transferred to Evan so promptly? I might have missed an explanation for that, earlier. Author's Response: Thanks for the review. On the apology, so far Severus has always done exactly what he's been told to do without objections (in the furren propago case, he was asking for "further clarification.") Agreeing to the apology should sound like Severus' default response. The reader should be surprised, like Avery, that he didn't agree right away. This was supposed to be a sign of the CIS/temper effect. Oh, you were supposed to get the idea well before this that Severus was just dying to get away from Avery and transferred to Rosier.