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Bibliomancer by bibliomancer [Reviews - 3]

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Inside the noisy converted warehouse, Snape made two discoveries about his future bride: she loved to shop and he loathed her taste in music.


For nearly two hours, he had been sitting impatiently on a ratty, old chesterfield outside the ladies' fitting room. A friendly young woman with purple hair and a dozen facial piercings had offered him a cup of coffee while he waited, warning him that Adoxa would be at it for the better part of the day. Adoxa! His fiancee seemed to know just about everyone and was adored by all in return, a stark contrast to her days as an unpopular schoolgirl.


When the purple-haired woman refilled his coffee for the fourth time, Snape learned that Adoxa had frequented this shop since her days at UCL. And judging by the look of the other patrons digging through bins of clothing, he suspected that she must have dressed rather unconventionally in her youth. But given his impressions of her as a grown women, he expected that she would demonstrate restraint in her purchases.


An hour later, Snape was bored to tears and ready to cast a Silencing Charm on the wretched black boxes hung around the shop, from which flowed a cacophony of strange, mechanical sounds. If that noise passed for music to Adoxa, he would ensure that she never acquired a magical gramophone. His future sanity might very well depend upon it!


Not wanting to draw attention to himself, Snape discreetly slipped his wand from his waistcoat. He cast a voiceless spell; the black box serenade reduced to a dull buzz. With a contented sigh, he leaned back and stretched out his long legs, hunkering down in peace for the longest shopping trip of his life.


“Brilliant!” exclaimed a twenty-something man, with spiked blond hair and a black leather trench coat, who flopped down on the chesterfield next to Snape.


“I beg your pardon?”


“Bloody awful band, that lot,” he laughed, running a hand over his spiked hair, revealing a heavily-tattooed arm, strung with spiked leather cuffs.


“Quite,” Snape remarked.


“What's the spell then? To shut them up.”


“I haven't the slightest idea to what you are referring.” Snape shifted uncomfortably.


“Bollocks! A minute ago, you were glaring at those speakers. Then you whipped out your wand. What did you do?”


Snape scowled.


“Come on, mate. I can't stand that electro shite either.”


“Oh, very well.” Snape shook his head, abandoning his typical restraint. “It is a reverse Muffliato. The incantation is the same, but you must channel the direction of the distortion inward rather than out.”


“Ha!” The man grinned, pulling out a heavily-carved wand from inside his trench coat. “Always fancied that spell back in school.”


“I wrote it,” Snape quipped dryly.


“Bloody brilliant!” the man exclaimed, leaping to his feet and waving his wand. “Muffliato!”


“The other way!” Snape cringed, rubbing his ears.


“Sorry,” the man laughed, swishing his wand in the opposite direction, a stupid grin crossing his face. The spell a success, he flopped down next to Snape, jabbing him amicably on the shoulder. “I owe you one.”


“Hardly.” Snape cringed.


“So, you waiting on your girl then?” the man asked, sliding his wand back into his coat.


Snape nodded.


“Never understood it myself,” he shrugged, “why they take so long. Me? I need pants, I buy pants. In and out.”


“I could not agree more,” Snape sighed wearily, rising to his feet. “Excuse me one moment.”


Walking over to the fitting room, he rapped his knuckles against the mirrored door.


“I'll be out in a minute,” she responded cheerfully.


Rolling his eyes, Snape waited at the door.


True to her word, Adoxa stepped out a moment later, her arms filled with clothing in every shade of black, a blissful expression on her face.


Snape's breath caught when he saw her. Setting down the pile of clothing, she walked out of the dressing room and did a slow turn, the hem of her dress swishing against the painted concrete floor of the warehouse shop.


Adoxa wore a mermaid gown of rich, black satin. The skirt clung to her curves like a second skin, flaring at the shins just enough to permit movement. A boned bodice cinched her slim waist and hoisted her small breasts into a seductive display. Tight, elbow-length sleeves ended in crisp, black ruffles. To complete the look, she had twisted her hair into a smooth, high knot, keeping the centre part.


Snape gazed longingly at her, his mouth gaping open. “My dear … you look ...”


“Ravishing!” The spiky-haired blond applauded from the chesterfield.


Snape whirled, glaring at the man with murderous intent in his black eyes.


“Nefas!” Adoxa smiled gleefully at the man. “Do you think this will do for a wedding?”


“Oy! You're marrying Doxa?” He jumped to his feet. “Why didn't you say so before?”


Snape suppressed a string of curses that would surely have made his bride faint. Of course she would know some rogue wizard, with the wand skills of a first year, who lolled about in clothing shops. And why not? She dined in magical curry huts, sold books to Death Eaters, travelled the world and beguiled the Dark Lord himself. A punk with a wand was mild by comparison.


“Nefas Lovegood, High Priest of the Moon, Seeker of Celestial Truths, at your service.” The man made a deep, exaggerated bow.


“Lovegood?” Snape eyed Nefas. “A relation to Miss Luna, I presume?” The name 'Nefas' was unfamiliar to Snape, who guessed that the man must have entered and failed out of Hogwarts during the brief period between his schoolboy years and return as a Potions Master.


“Yeah!” Nefas answered enthusiastically. “My little cousin. You know her?”


“I have instructed her in Potions, yes.” Snape crossed his arms.


“A real Potions Master! Brilliant! You'd never see old Slughorn in a shop like this,” he laughed.


'Nor would you see me, if I had my choice,' Snape thought to himself.


“So when's the big day then?”


“I've no idea.” Adoxa glanced over at Snape.


“Today,” he answered curtly.


“What, really? Ha! Congrats!”


“Adoxa.” Snape turned to his bride, handing her a fistful of gold coins. “Pay for your spoils and have them packed up but keep that dress on.”


“As you wish,” she responded, scooping up the pile of clothing and heading to the register, vaguely confused.


“And while you are there, choose two appropriate wedding bands. I noticed a case with such items upon entering the shop.”


Adoxa continued on her way, a smile curving her lips.


“Mr. Lovegood,” Snape addressed the man. “Might I hire your services for an hour?”


“Sure, mate! Anything for that Muffliato. What do you need?”


“I wish for you to conduct a wedding ritual,” he replied, as if it were a perfectly normal request.


“What? Me?” Nefas gaped.


“A 'Priest of the Moon,' are you not?”


“Yeah? Yeah. Sounds good, doesn't it?” Nefas smirked. “But if you want to get hitched Muggle style, make it legal and all, I can't do that.”


“What use have I for Muggle conventions?”


Nefas shrugged. “The girls love it. White dress, flowers ...”


Snape balked at the thought of Adoxa, innocent though she was, wearing white anything.


“I can do a handfasting,” Nefas offered.


“Not what I had in mind.”


“What do you want then?”


“Are you familiar with the Unbreakable Vow?”


“Of course. It can't be broken, right?”


Snape nodded incredulously.


“How's that going to marry you?”


“Just do as I say, Mr. Lovegood. I anticipate that the Vow will ensure a more lasting bond than any Muggle rites.”


“Sure,” Nefas laughed nervously, “if you want to stake your life on being with her forever.”


“I most certainly do.”


Bibliomancer by bibliomancer [Reviews - 3]

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