His footsteps felt heavy as Severus returned to his room that night. To see the desperation in Regulus's eyes staring back at him, the last shared moment imprinted on the canvas of his mind, left Severus wondering if he had done the right thing. Should he have tried to talk with the other boy more? But hadn't he tried to help the Slytherins, to keep them from turning Dark? He had never had anything against Regulus, but neither had they ever been particularly close.

Reflecting back on the past couple of years, Severus wondered if he should have tried to befriend Regulus. He was seldom one to reach out to others first, but knowing that Regulus had been killed before for wanting out, Severus couldn't pretend he didn't think there was something Regulus wasn't telling him, even now.

If anyone could understand what it felt like to regret joining the Death Eaters, it was Severus, and what had he done? He had barely given the frightened boy a chance before thrusting him over to Dumbledore. Would Dumbledore be merciful? Chances were the old man wouldn't extend any mercy without strings attached. Severus didn't know if Regulus had anything to offer the headmaster in return, and what did Dumbledore have to trust Regulus on? Unless Regulus had accidentally betrayed the love of his life and was wishing his own life over, Severus couldn't imagine Dumbledore would be convinced. After all, Dumbledore focused on the power of love, and he had spent years holding sway over Severus because of Severus's love for Lily.

Severus eventually managed to fall asleep, but dreams of flashing green light and piercing eyes, which turned from red to blue to green to black, but in no particular order, plagued his slumber. When Severus awoke the following morning, he absently went through the process of cleaning and dressing.

He headed down to the Great Hall aimlessly, and much to his surprise, Regulus was seated at the Slytherin table. He was off by himself and was staring at the untouched plate of food on the table. Severus turned his head away, surprise and an odd sense of relief coursing through him. While it was true that Regulus was a Death Eater, he hadn't actually done any harm to anyone in the school... yet. Everyone else who had been expelled had used an Unforgivable on another student, but still, Severus wondered what had transpired in Dumbledore's office last night. If Regulus was still sitting here, he was still welcome at the school. Severus's eyes locked on Dumbledore for a lingering moment, and Dumbledore caught Severus's gaze and held it. Severus thought he saw the headmaster incline his head ever so slightly.

Severus returned his gaze to the students sitting at his table. Masterson was there, of course, and Severus had to resist the urge to scowl. He didn't trust the boy, and if Regulus was allowed to stay at Hogwarts, chances were Masterson would be as well, especially since he hadn't been discovered for certain as being one of the students out on the grounds last night convening with Death Eaters. Masterson was only a fifth year, so he was probably too young to be recruited. As ruthless and evil as Voldemort was, Severus didn't think he would mark an underage wizard. Regulus was freshly seventeen, so Voldemort had wasted no time in welcoming him to the ranks.

Breakfast passed uneventfully after the initial realization of Regulus's continued stay at Hogwarts. Severus's first class that day was Potions, which he looked forward to because he was able to sit next to Lily. Once finished with his meal, Severus met Lily in the Entrance Hall, and they descended the stairs to the dungeons.

"I have something I need to tell you later," Severus muttered, not wishing to be overheard, as unlikely as that seemed with the loud chatter all around him.

Lily cast him a quizzical glance, then nodded. She wondered what it could possibly be, but whatever important information Severus had to share with Lily, it would be waiting until classes were over and they could go somewhere private.

"You should know, Sev," Lily said back just as softly, "that Dumbledore already talked with James and Sirius. They didn't get a clear look at the students who were with the Death Eaters, either."

"Oh?" Severus inquired curiously. They entered the classroom.

"Yes," Lily confirmed. "But also, they aren't too happy about their secret being let out of the bag."

Severus snorted, taking his seat. "Well, how long did they expect to keep it quiet? Did Dumbledore do anything?"

Lily shook her head. "If he didn't punish us, he surely wasn't going to punish them. He did warn them not to go out after dark again, though. He was displeased that they were potentially endangering others by letting Remus roam freely in his altered state."

Before Severus could reply, the individuals who were the topic of their conversation walked into the room. James and Sirius weren't joking around like they usually did, and just behind them, Remus appeared tired. Black circles decorated the area around his eyes, and he had a fresh scratch mark on his cheek. Remus proceeded to his bench sullenly, shaking his head perceptibly.

Not a moment after James and Sirius had placed their bags on their bench did they approach Severus and Lily. James looked remarkably stern, and Sirius had his arms folded across his chest, hoping to appear menancing.

"So, you thought it would be amusing to rat us out, did you, Snape?" James asked.

"What a way to thank us after we probably saved you from those Death Eaters," Sirius added. He glared from Severus to Lily, but James kept his eyes locked solely on Severus.

"What did you expect us to do?" Severus hissed. "We had to inform the headmaster of what we had seen, and that included you. We thought you might have seen who the conspirators were, but I was obviously mistaken. As for 'probably saving us', Black, don't take the credit for something you didn't do."

"Well, thanks to you, our secret is out," James shot back.

Sirius was silenced for the time being.

"And I suppose discussing it in a classroom that is soon to be filled with several other students is helping that fact?" Severus asked sardonically.

Lily giggled, despite the seriousness of the situation. "I'm sorry, James... Sirius. I already told you we didn't mean to get you in trouble. Dumbledore wasn't any happier with us, but he didn't do anything to any of us. Besides, you shouldn't have been running around like that for the past several years, anyway."

Remus was gazing in their direction, clearly unhappy. He was on the verge of leaving his seat to intervene when a group of Ravenclaws stepped into the classroom. James looked from them to Severus and retreated.

Sirius stood there a few seconds longer, and just when Severus thought he might leave, Sirius leaned over and whispered, "You might think you're the golden boy, Snape, but I still don't entirely trust you. You'd do anything to make yourself look good at the expense of others."

"Look who's talking, Black," Severus replied, nonplussed. "Your advice would be better suited on your own kin."

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't know?" Severus asked smoothly, enjoying the rise he was provoking in the Gryffindor boy.

"Severus," Lily muttered warningly.

Sighing, Severus backed down. "Fine. You and your esteemed brother ought to have a little chat. That's all I'm saying." Beside him, Lily was watching him, perplexed and curious.

Slughorn chose that moment to make his grand entrance, jovially bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Ah, Mr. Black, do kindly take your seat," Slughorn intoned. "We have a wonderful lesson ahead of us today, and I would hate for you to miss it."

Sirius gave Severus one last glare and took his seat. Severus sneered at the back of his retreating form and then averted his attention to the lesson.

x x x x x

After classes were over for the day, Severus and Lily met in their broom closet, seeing as it was the only private place they could talk. Severus made sure to cast a Silencing Charm on the place. It wouldn't do to be overheard.

Severus was already sitting on the floor when Lily entered. "This had better not take too long," Lily said. "It's a nice day outside, and I had hoped to spend it with you."

Sighing, annoyed, Severus replied, "You think I enjoy being inside a dark closet any more than you do, Lily?"

Closing the door behind her, Lily stated matter-of-factly, "I suppose that depends what's going on inside said broom closet." She smirked.

Severus allowed himself a small smile at her joke, then sobered. "If I seem on edge, there's a good reason for it. After you and I parted last night, I was on my way to my room when I overheard someone inside a closet very much like this one. They were apparently crying, and seeing as I am Head Boy, I felt it necessary to see what the problem was. Much to my surprise, Regulus Black was inside the cupboard."

Lily's eyes were huge as her mouth gaped. "What? Why would Regulus Black be crying inside a broom closet?"

"Apparently," Severus continued, lowering his voice, "because he regrets his decision."

"You mean- he joined the Death Eaters?" Lily asked incredulously.

Severus nodded, proceeding to explain the conversation he had had with Regulus. "I took him to Dumbledore and left it to him from there," he finished.

"But Regulus was still at breakfast and lunch today," Lily pointed out. "Why wasn't he expelled?"

"That's a good question, and I'm still trying to figure that out myself," Severus said with a shrug.

"Hmm, well, what do we do now?" Lily posed.

"'We?'" Severus echoed. "Lily, there's nothing more we should be doing but our jobs as Head Boy and Girl. I think we've already caused enough trouble."

"Severus, what are you talking about?" Lily asked, sounding a bit hurt. "You were all ready to break the rules last night when you insisted on sneaking out after dark and following those Death Eaters. Why the sudden change?"

"And are you forgetting what could have happened to you, Lily?" Severus ejected. "Lupin is a werewolf, and if it isn't bad enough that his friends are reckless enough to run rampant with him, putting ourselves in harm's way is a folly I could have avoided. If anything had happened to you-"

"Severus, I can take care of myself," Lily replied hotly.

"I never said you couldn't," Severus argued. He was bothered immensely by last night's events, and the combined guilt of not helping Regulus when he had the chance and of putting Lily in potential danger was putting Severus's emotions over the cliff of reason. "I just- Lily, please! I was acting rashly and without thinking. There are other ways of helping the cause of what's right that don't involve you coming to harm."

"And what about you, Severus?" Lily shot back. "You think I wouldn't be heartbroken if something were to happen to you? When we're done at Hogwarts, I know you won't back down and let this all go. You're already too involved; we're both involved up to our eyeballs. I know you better than anyone else, and I know that once you get something in your head, you won't let it go. You can't blame yourself for other people's choices! If Regulus wanted to be a Death Eater, then that's his decision. You adamantly chose not to be one. He could have done the same if he had half the courage you do!"

"Lily, you don't know what it's like to be in Slytherin," Severus protested. "Do you have any idea how hard I had to fight to not become one of them? It took me years to realize what I'd lost-"

"'Years?' And what do you mean by what you'd lost? Sev, you didn't lose anything. You might have wound up continuing down that path, but you didn't, and it's only been a few years, not years and years like you make it seem..." Lily trailed off, her voice growing softer. She took her hands and held his face. She gazed into his eyes. "Severus, is there something you want to tell me?"

Severus stared back, transfixed, and swallowed. He remembered the last breath he had taken in his past existence, Harry's eyes fading, and now Severus stood on the precipice of truth and lies, life and death. A second or an eternity could have passed.

"No," he finally croaked.

Lily sighed, dropping her hands, and withdrew. Severus felt his chest constrict, feeling her evident disappointment. He hated to lie, but what could he do? Telling Lily the truth now would destroy everything he had worked so hard for the past two years, or so he felt. He mustered the strength to draw close to her and take her face in his hands now.

"I'm sorry if I seemed unreasonable a few minutes ago, Lily," Severus apologized. "I just don't want to do anything I might regret, and I don't think I've been thinking as clearly as I ought to be lately. You're right; after school, our lives will be ours to live as we choose, and I won't let the world around us be forgotten. I used to think I could have you all for myself, and we could live in some fairytale representation of reality, but I've known better for a long time now. Those are the dreams of a child. We have to live in the world."

"Yes, and the only way that world is going to be better is if we do our part to help," Lily agreed.

"And we will," Severus asserted. "Lily, I love you."

"I love you, too, Sev. You know that. Even when we argue." She managed a small smile.

"Even when we argue, huh?" Severus quipped, his softer side returning. He actually laughed, something he didn't think he would have done not so long ago after coming down from such an intense conversation.

Or was it his way of pushing real concerns to the back of his mind?

Severus chose to bask for the moment in the assurance that Lily was beside him. After a few minutes, they left the broom closet and headed outside. To an onlooker, the illusion of the beautiful spring day before them was just that: an illusion.

In the weeks to follow, that illusion continued, but Severus never forgot the pleading look in Lily's eyes that day in the closet. He never forgot the dejection in Regulus's eyes. Nor the piercing quality of Dumbledore's blue orbs. Or even the red that still haunted him as Voldemort had gazed at him time and again in his other life.

And there were his own black eyes. Looking at himself, there was no illusion in Severus's mind. He knew where he stood, and that was a scary place atop that cliff.