Chapter XII: Her Mother’s Gift

Severus allowed himself a tiny smile as he put the lid on the dark-brown wicker basket, hiding the meowing kitten from sight. It was indeed an adorable little creature, even the stern Potions master had to admit that. He would, however, never do so in public.

When he had tried to smuggle the kitten unseen into the castle, Minerva had caught him, and he had been forced to cut off her exclamations of delight by telling her that he intended to feed the kitten to the five foot snake that served as Slytherin’s mascot this year. Minerva had gaped at him with a mixture of shock and disgust, and he had stalked past her, desperately trying to hide his smirk. Of course he would never feed this kitten to that vicious snake that resided in the Slytherin common room since last summer. The little creature was far too cute for that kind of destiny.

The first thing Severus had noticed about the kitten had been its eyes. They had been glowing in the semi-dark of the Magical Menagerie, where he had actually intended to buy some rats for the Slytherin snake. Yes, glowing was exactly the right word to describe the kitten’s bright yellow eyes. And its fur was shining in warm brown and red tones. The perfect familiar for the little red-haired witch that was the daughter of Severus Snape.

Eydis would be overjoyed with a new cat. Or at least, Severus hoped she would.

She had been heart-broken the day Nicodemus had not woken up after its mid-morning nap. They had played together the whole morning, and then the old tabby had snuggled up in his basket, buried its nose in the shreds of Severus’ old sweater and silently passed away. And Eydis had cried bitter tears when she had found her dear playmate and realised that he would never wake up again.

Severus had cradled his daughter against his chest and stroked her hair, explained to her that the tabby had lived a long and joyful life, and that he had not suffered. And the little one had wiped her tears with her sleeve and said that she understood. But Severus could see Eydis' lip quiver every time she passed the spot where Nicodemus’ basket had stood since the day she had been born.

Severus missed the old tabby, too. Nicodemus had been a dear friend to him for almost ten years. Had it not been for the cat’s curiosity and its annoying habit of climbing bookshelves, Severus would never have found the Black family ring, and he would never have considered the possibility of Cassandra being a witch. And maybe, she would never have told him. And maybe, they would never have found their way home.

Yes, he missed Nicodemus, too. And maybe that was why he had not considered buying a new cat. But when this little kitten had looked at him with its bright yellow eyes, he had not been able to resist. And Eydis’ upcoming birthday had been the perfect excuse to purchase the flaming fur-ball.

Seven. Severus could hardly believe that his little daughter was turning seven already. It seemed like only yesterday that Eydis had been a baby. It seemed like only yesterday that he had held her in his arms for the first time and carried her to her mother’s bed and seen the endless joy in Cassandra’s eyes.

Oh, Cassandra. Severus swallowed dryly and willed the lump in his throat to disappear. It was on days like these that he missed his wife so much that his heart actually ached. Three and a half years had passed since she had passed away, and still Severus would wake up on certain mornings and reach out for her, just to find the bed sheets beside him cold and empty. And on those days, he would gladly sell his soul to have her back, to see her smile, to hear her laugh.

Those were the days when he would lock himself in his study, hide from the world and pretend that he was too busy to even attend a meal in the Great Hall. And his colleagues and friends had learnt that it was best to leave him alone on those days, as he would lash out at anyone who even tried to approach him. Anyone but Eydis.

How often she had carried a plate of food down to the dungeons in the evening to make sure that he ate something, Severus did not know. He did not even know if bringing him food was her own idea or Minerva’s. It didn’t really matter anyway. The moment the little one would enter his private study, he would feel the ice around his heart melt. For her he would put away his cauldron, leave the dungeon and go up to the Great Hall. For her he would even visit the Potters. For her he would go to the gates of hell.

A tiny meow from the basket made Severus snap out of his reverie, and he lifted the lid to give the kitten one of his trademark glares.

‘If you dare spoil the surprise, I swear you will become snake food after all,’ he snarled.

But when the kitten looked up at him with its big yellow eyes, his glare dissolved into thin air, even the stern Severus Snape couldn’t help but smile.

For a moment, he considered putting Muffliato on the basket but decided against it. If the kitten should happen to meow before Eydis had opened the basket, the little one would surely smile. And a smile from his daughter was worth more than all the Goblin gold in the world to Severus. Her smile was the light in his world.

~ ~ ~

Eydis was already sitting up in her bed as Severus entered her room, and she reached out her arms towards her father and indeed gave him one of the sweetest smiles in the world.

‘Daddy, is my birthday present in there?’ she exclaimed and pointed at the basket, her smile growing wider by the second.

Severus tried not to grin and cocked an eyebrow instead. ‘Good morning to you, too, Miss Snape,’ he replied, towering over his daughter and looking down his nose at her.

Eydis bit her lip and lowered her gaze. ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ she mumbled.

Severus was on his knees in front of her in a blink of an eye. He had certainly not meant to chide her. Sometimes he simply forgot that she was just a little child who was easily hurt and frightened by his intimidating glare.

He cupped her chin and made her look at him. ‘Happy birthday, little one,’ he said softly before placing a tender kiss on her forehead.

‘How old are you know?’ he asked jokingly. ‘Five?’

Eydis narrowed her eyes and have him a look that could only come from Snape genes. ‘Seven, Daddy. I am seven,’ she replied, holding up seven tiny fingers. ‘I am a big girl now, you know.’

‘A big girl?’ Severus repeated, smirking at her. ‘In that case, I will have to return your present. The content of this basket is certainly not suited for a big girl.’

Even if he had wanted to, Severus would never have stood a chance to remove the basket from the bed. Eydis launched herself onto it and took off the lid before he had even finished his sentence. And he just sat down on the edge of the bed, his head resting against the headboard, and watched his daughter’s face shine up like the sun.

‘Daddy, it’s a kitten!’ she exclaimed, fishing the little animal out of the basket and holding it up before her. ‘Oh, Daddy, this is the cutest kitten I have ever seen. Is it mine? Can I keep it?’

Severus crossed his arms in front of his chest and smiled. ‘Only if you can give it a proper name,’ he declared.

‘Is it a boy or a girl?’

‘It is a tomcat, little one.’

Eydis frowned and started chewing her lip, her eyes intently on the kitten.

‘Eldur,’ she exclaimed after a while.

Severus’ left eyebrow shot up. ‘Eldur? Why Eldur?’

Eydis sat down the kitten on her lap and looked up at her father. ‘It’s Icelandic. It means fire.’

‘Yes, I am aware of that,’ Severus replied, now frowning. ‘But why do you know, little one?’

Once more, Eydis started gnawing at her lip, and Severus could see that she was not really sure if she wanted to let him in on the secret.

‘I’ve been studying,’ she finally said, very quietly, before she resolutely put the kitten back into the basket and pulled back her blanket, revealing a small stack of books.

‘One of the elves brought them earlier,’ she explained. ‘She said they are Mummy’s old books.’

Severus eyed the books carefully. They were indeed Cassandra’s: dictionaries and grammar books, both Muggle languages and magical, The Nibelung Saga, The Aeneis, Magick Potions, The Crone’s Book of Charms and Spells. He remembered the first time he had seen those books in her bookshelf. It had been the first time Cassandra had told him she was a witch. And he had not believed her. He had not wanted to believe her, had not dared.

‘Did the elf say why she was brining you these books?’ he inquired, trying to shake off his memories.

Eydis nodded. ‘Yes. She said Mummy wanted me to have them when I was old enough. Especially this one.’

She picked up a heavy leather-bound album and held it out towards her father. ‘The elf said Mummy wanted me to read this.’

For the second time that morning, Severus felt his heart ache and a lump form in his throat. He knew this album. Cassandra had bought it shortly after Eydis had been born.

He remembered her opening it for the first time, writing in it with her favourite quill. It was a present for Eydis, she had said. She had put pictures in it, written in it regularly, and she had never allowed him to look at it.

He also remembered seeing the album once after Cassandra had passed away, the day he had cleaned out her nightstand. He had not wanted to look at it. And he was not sure if he want to look at it now either.

He was just about to push it away from him when Eydis put her hand onto his.

‘Can we look at it together?’ she asked. ‘Please, Daddy?’

She never gave him a choice. Before he could object, she had snuggled up beside him and had opened the first page.

Severus recognised Cassandra’s handwriting at once. There was no mistaking the slender, artistic letters or the tiny stars she had used to dot her i’s with. He had always adored her handwriting.

‘Daddy, will you help me read?’ Eydis pleaded.

And with a raspy voice, Severus started to read the lines his beloved wife had written for her daughter:

My beloved child,

You will be reading this on your seventh birthday. So let me start by wishing you all the happiness in the world. I hope that your big day will be bright and sunny and that your Daddy has bought you a wonderful cake. One you like. Because your Daddy has no taste whatsoever when it comes to sweet things.

I wish I were there with you, my darling.

As I am writing this, you are but two years old, my sweet. Your Daddy has just tried to feed you with spinach, and you have – accidentally of course – turned over the plate, and it has landed in his lap. Daddy has tried to scowl at you but failed miserably. I think that he will never be truly angry with you. Try not to be angry with him either. He loves you very much, you know.

You will see that many pages in this book are empty, little one, but be assured that they will not remain so. They will reveal their secrets once you are ready for them, once you are ready to ask the right questions. And I hope they will give you the answers you are looking for.

Once more, I wish you a very happy birthday, my darling. Please tell your Daddy I love him. And be good to him, little one. He needs you just as much as you need him. And don’t forget that I love you both more than anything else in the world.

Take care of each other.

Mummy

Severus’ voice had become thicker with every line, and in the end he had to bite his lip to keep back the tears. His hands were shaking, and he struggled between hugging the album to his chest and throwing it as far away as he could.

Then he felt Eydis throw her arms around his neck and heard her tiny voice whisper in his ear: ‘I am sorry, Daddy.’

Severus blinked back the tears and freed himself from his daughter’s embrace, held her firmly by her shoulders and looked deep into her blue eyes.

‘What are you sorry for, little one?’

‘For not remembering Mummy,’ she whispered and cast down her eyes. ‘Aunt Minny says so wonderful things about her. How she laughed and smiled. And how she made you smile. And everybody says that I look just like her. But as much as I want to, I cannot remember her.’

Severus felt a stab in his heart. He could not let this happen. He could not allow his little angel to feel guilty about this. It was not her fault.

‘You were just a baby when your Mummy passed away,’ he tried to explain in a calm voice. ‘You had far too little time with her. It is only natural that you do not remember.’

He caressed Eydis’ cheek with his fingertips and silently wiped away the little tear that was hanging on her lashes.

‘Your Mummy was a very smart witch, little one,’ he went on. ‘She knew that you were too young to remember her. And I think this is why she wanted you to have this album.’

Once more, he laid his arm around his daughter’s shoulder and pulled her onto his lap. And together they turned the page and revealed the first picture that had ever been taken of Eydis: she was lying in her mother’s arms, and Cassandra was smiling.

---

I dedicate this chapter to my dear friend star_girl. No one else squeals like you when reading the words Severus Snape and kitten in one sentence.