Disclaimer: Except for some OCs the characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling. This chapter is within the timeline of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

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Dear Lucky,

I'm sorry I have been unable to meet with you for the past few days. Grandma had to go live in with a patient who is quite ill and Mum and Daddy decided to move to Daddy's house early. It's kind of a drag, because I know you're stuck with all that transplanting. I hope it's going OK.

I've met my first dangerous criminal, except that I don't think he was dangerous at all. Mum says he's mostly harmless but that I must never be alone with him, nor tell anyone I met him, or how or where. He and Mum seem to have been friends or something for many years, but they chatted oddly. She kept holding him back in the conversation, like the mistress holding the leash of an overeager puppy. I think he's pretty nice, but somehow there's something dangerous about him, after all.

I'm sure my parents are involved in fighting against that person who's supposedly not back. I knew from the way Mum acts that Daddy is in danger. It never occurred to me that Mum might be in danger, too, but the criminal-guy said something that made me wonder if she is. Daddy must be using Occlumency, but I've been watching him more carefully. He's worried about her, almost as much as she is about him.

That Harry Potter got himself in a pile of trouble. He cast a Patronus charm in the middle of his neighborhood, right in front of his Muggle cousin. Of course he was supposed to be expelled from the school, but Dumbledore tried to sort it out. Daddy says it's yet another example of favoritism toward the one student. The story is that there were Dementors attacking Potter and his cousin, so he needed to cast a Patronus. There's going to be a hearing about it in a few days.

Daddy says the whole situation shows how the Ministry is treating Dumbledore these days. A few months ago, everyone would have believed him without a single question. If Potter's story is true, it's a clear case of self defense. However, since Dumbledore isn't as popular at the Ministry any more, the whole thing is being treated as if Dumbledore and Potter are trying to put something over on the Wizarding Community. I'll never figure out why adults have to act so childishly sometimes.

Have you gotten your book list yet? I think Mum plans to take me to Diagon Alley sometime next week.

Sincerely,
Hope

---

Dear Hope,

I'm sorry you weren't able to come back, but I understand. It didn't take long at all to finish that transplanting. The gardeners were quite nice about it since we're basically volunteers, after all.

Your summer sounds way more interesting than mine. All the intrigue around here that I can gather is that Gran is going to let the Healers try another treatment on my parents. She's making them wait until after the school term starts, though. I think she's hoping that if it goes badly I won't see it.

I wouldn't worry too much about your parents. They're pretty competent, especially your father. I won't be sorry to get back to school and normal life, though. Even without seeing some of the things you're seeing, everything seems so odd this summer, as if everyone is getting ready for something no one will admit is happening.

We'll probably be in Diagon Alley on Wednesday. I'm hoping to see some friends then.

Sincerely,
Lucky

---

Emily found Hope looking out a window into the back garden. She was holding a crumpled parchment in her hand, and tears were slowly burning down her face.

“What is the matter, dear?”

“It's nothing, Mum.”

“Is that a letter from Neville?”

“He's going to be in Diagon Alley on Wednesday to shop for his books. He's hoping to meet some friends there.”

“That's good, isn't it?”

“I think it means he's hoping to meet with Hannah Abbott.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Do you, Mum? Do you really?” Dark, hollow eyes, very much like her father's at that moment, stared at the mother. “How could you know what it's like? You and Daddy have been together since you were first years.”

Emily smiled sadly. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Well, weren't you? Didn't you study together?”

“We did, but all the way through school, your Daddy was head over heels gone over another girl. He mostly hung around with me only when she wasn't there. Plus,” Emily sighed, “in sixth and seventh years, I dated Sirius Black.”

“That strange older man?”

“He wasn't so strange or older when he was the hottest boy at Hogwarts. Half the girls in school—well, I shouldn't be talking to you about that sort of thing.”

“They all shagged with him, didn't they? Did you, Mum?”

“I never really wanted to. We just snogged a lot.”

Fascinated, the girl smoothed out her letter and set it aside. “Was he your first kiss?” The mother nodded. “What was it like?”

Emily's eyes got dreamy. “It was quite exciting. He pulled me into a quiet alleyway during the first Hogsmeade Weekend of my sixth year. Then it was ruined when a bunch of his friends were attacking your father. I was furious and didn't speak to Sirius until the Yule Ball.”

“He attacked Daddy?”

“He belonged to a group of Gryffindors that took a dislike to Daddy the first time they saw him. It's too bad, since most of them are working together, now...”

“And you kissed him? How could you do that? You and Daddy were friends.”

“I was pretty mixed up at sixteen. None of the other boys seemed interested, and every girl wanted to date Sirius.”

“So you went around snogging a boy that was Daddy's enemy?”

“Guilty as charged.”

“How could you?”

“I'm not sure I can answer that question. I thought I had good reasons at the time. Anyway, I forgot what his kisses were like the first time I kissed your father. It was a different universe. Like reading about dragons in books and then seeing a real, live one at the Triwizard Tournament.”

“Really?”

“Really. Your Daddy just does it for me. For all that he was the hottest boy at school, Sirius never did.”

Hope sighed at the romance of it. Then she remembered her letter and sighed again. “It doesn't help me, at all. Neville likes the pretty blond girls with pink cheeks, and...and boobs. You just don't know.”

“Oh, really? Compared to back when I had plain brown hair and watery eyes, and the prettiest girl at Hogwarts had gleaming red-brown hair and sparkling green eyes?”

Emily pulled the curly head to her, and smoothed the tousled hair. “You have a lovely face, when you're not crying, and your figure is filling out quite nicely, too. If Neville doesn't appreciate you, perhaps it's time to end your correspondence and be a bit nicer to the boys of Slytherin?”

“Oh, Mum, I can't do that! As hard as it is to watch, I just have to know everything he does. Besides, the boys of my house can be pretty awful, except Ted, I guess.”

“Well, maybe you should give the other boys a chance.”

“Mum, don't make me do that.”

Emily sighed. “Try not to get so worked up about it, then. You're only fifteen years old. The great romance of my life didn't strike until I was four years older.”

“That's forever, Mum.”

“Yes, dear, it is. Once it started, though, it went in no time at all. I knew I loved your father, I was married, and I had you, all before I was twenty years old. You wouldn't want all that right now, would you?”

Emily gave her daughter one last kiss, sensing that she would be thrown off, soon, and went to her own bedroom, where she retrieved an old diary and sat staring out a window of her own. Her husband found her there a little while later, and shut the door of the room, then quietly sat beside her.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

“Young love never seems to go smoothly, does it?”

“Would anyone want it if it was easy?”

“How was your manly trip to the playground? Where's the baby, now?”

“I took him to some the places I went as a child, and when we got back, I left him with his sister. I think it perked her up a bit to have something to do. What are you reading?”

Emily showed him the page she held open.

7 August 1979

It's now two and a half weeks since I became a woman in Severus's arms.

Sirius stopped by this evening. He wants to make up and start dating, again. In fact, he wants to do more than that. He was speaking of getting engaged. He's willing to talk about getting married and even having children. James and Lily are back from their honeymoon and he spent an evening at their house, absorbing domestic joy. Apparently they are trying to have a baby, now. Ever one to jump into a cause, Sirius is smitten with the idea of his own home and family.

I couldn't help myself. I burst into tears and he held me in his arms, offering to do anything to make it better. There is no way Sirius could untangle this mess. Poor Severus, when the Potters have a baby! Poor me in the meanwhile! It's starting to look like...well, I won't commit that thought to ink at this point. I would look so foolish if it didn't happen. Anyhow, Sirius was as sweet as I've ever known him to be. Indeed he was not himself, proving that he should wait before jumping into anything drastic. I kissed his cheek and sent him away. No man's lips will know my lips again but the man whose kisses make me forget myself...if he ever wants me again...

Emily smiled distractedly. “Sirius is getting restless in that house. He's used to having the wind in his face, so to speak. Something he said reminded me of the day I wrote this. At the time, I didn't think he was honest about wanting to get married. It didn't matter. I was already sure that I was pregnant.”

“...With the child who is suffering from young love right now.”

“She's as single minded about her passions as you were, and I don't know how to protect her. I don't know if I can do it, not with everything else. How does one love in the face of such hopelessness, Severus? I only had three weeks of it.”

“You loved me far longer than that. Now that I know you, I realize it was evident in the way you forced yourself upon my attention that very first evening in the library.”

“But it wasn't hopeless love, then, it was just, I don't know. I just wanted to be your friend. I had only three weeks of knowing what love with you could be and being sure it would never happen. My daughter is facing years of it.”

“Just as I did, my love. I had someone, though, who was kind to me and helped me through it, until suddenly I realized that my passion was wasted on the hopeless love, and that the one I really loved was the one who had loved me enough to help me with the other.”

“What if she doesn't find someone like that?”

“Then it's fortunate for her that she has such a loving mother to help her sort it out.”

“I don't know if I can do that, with everything else...”

“How would you have it be, my Emily?”

“I want it all to go away. I want my daughter to enjoy her first crushes without this agony. I don't want to fight a war with him. I don't want to worry about what happens if he wins, and what he will want from me. I don't want you to have to give up what you give up every time he calls you. I don't want this burning pain in my chest every time you leave my side. I don't want to be the sort of wife who agonizes over her absent loved ones. I just want the space and time to live our lives.” She hid her face in her hands and sighed. “And while I'm making obscene demands of the universe, I want another baby even if it is far too soon to think about it.”

He scooped her up and carried her to their bed. The diary fell to the floor, unheeded. “Emily, all I can offer you is myself, here and now. Who knows? Maybe we can manage the baby.”

He cared for her so gently and tenderly that as the passion receded she was brought to tears. He rolled them both onto their sides, and then held her and kissed her. He didn't bother to try to soothe her tears away, as he judged she would feel better for giving vent to her anguish. He simply held her as she cried for the situation they found themselves in, the shadow of danger over the entire Wizarding world, and the heartbreak their daughter was experiencing in the midst of it all.

She had cried herself out and was almost asleep when she felt it. Severus had gotten pretty good at not wincing or shifting his arm when the call came, but the heat against her shoulder was unmistakable. She sat up to allow him to get up and prepare for the meeting, carefully composing her own face and finding a way to smile as he left.

“So brave,” he said as he kissed her, right over her heart. “I don't know how you do it, Emily, but you strengthen me. I will be back to you soon.”

Severus gathered his robe and mask. He Disapparated, and Emily watched the space where he had stood, minutes before. She rubbed his kiss into her chest, as if it were a healing ointment that would ease the pain his leaving caused. She sighed and dried her eyes, sorting out her clothing. If she couldn't be a wife to her husband just then, she would be a mother to her children.

---

He Apparated to the place his Mark brought him. “You didn't exactly rush, Snape, did you? Were you busy with that wife of yours? It won't be too long and there will be yet another child at your house, I bet. Are you trying to compete with the Weasleys?” Lucius Malfoy could make even ribald taunts sound sophisticated with his voice.

The general din of laughter covered the approach of the master, who walked into the room with his eyes gleaming as usual. Since the others were preoccupied, Severus was the first to kneel down. The Dark Lord corrected the others' inattentiveness with several well-placed hexes.

“So, Severus, you weren't the first to arrive, but you are the most conscientious. Do I hear tidings of another young Death Eater in the making?”

“No, master, but we hope perhaps soon.”

“It seems a pity that one who spends time with his wife might be the object of derision, especially when it might yield the future of our organization. Wormtail!” He turned as Pettigrew approached from the side. “Take the girl back to where you obtained her. Try not to scare her to death. We will have other plans for our Death Eaters after tonight's meeting.”

He discussed his plans for infiltrating the Ministry of Magic and obtaining the glass orb with the prophecy he wanted. Avery had explained just how it was to be done. He asked Severus about the plans the Order of the Phoenix had for guarding the Department of Mysteries. Severus explained the Orders plans to the extent that he, Shacklebolt, and Dumbledore had agreed upon.

Voldemort informed his servants of their tasks, and then sent them home. “Your entertainment for tonight will be to bed your own wives. We have a bright future, and we will need a new generation of Death Eaters to ensure that future.”

Several Death Eaters noticed that Severus Snape was one of the first to leave the meeting, and did not hesitate to cast aspersions to their master. Although Lord Voldemort was not completely convinced of Snape's loyalties, he did not consider his departure in this instance to be a proof of disloyalty. The fact that the man was eager to follow the directions he had been given was not a threat, not at this time.