Thanks also go to my beta, Apple Blossom, and to Jolene at HPFF, who gave me the idea for this story.


Chapter I: A Baby? Yes, Our Baby

Severus awoke in the early hours of morning. Why he had woken up, he did not know. It was not like he felt rested or anything. He had slept three hours tops, and when he turned to his side, he felt a sharp pain in his back. He grimaced and swore under his breath. He did not like to admit to himself that he was not twenty anymore and that a night of lovemaking was just a tad too much for his body.

He reached out for Cassandra and pulled her towards his chest. He felt her resist for a moment, heard her mumble a protest in her sleep. But when he cradled her towards his body, he felt her relax. He buried his face at her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair. Musk and honey, so familiar, so comforting.

His body reacted almost immediately to the memory of the first time he had smelled her hair. They had been dancing at that ridiculous Goth party in Hveragerði, and all of a sudden his lips had been on hers. And a few hours later she had taken him by the hand and led him to her bedroom. He had been clumsy and insecure at first and had made a fool out of himself. It had been such a long time since he had been with a woman, and for some moments he had been afraid that he had blown his chances. But Cassandra had taken him with all his flaws and shortcomings that night and shown him heaven. And he had let her, over and over again.

Once more, he inhaled deeply and pulled Cassandra closer. She was his now, his alone. He had proposed the night before, and she had said yes. Finally, finally, she had said yes.

The skin of her neck felt warm and soft against his lips and so did the skin of her thigh against his fingertips. He heard her sigh contentedly in her sleep, felt her nestle into the curve of his body, and despite the lack of sleep and the pain in his back, he wanted nothing more than to make love to her. Just to be close to her and to show her how much he loved her.

But when his hand caressed her stomach, he remembered what she had told him the night before and froze. She was pregnant! She was carrying his child!

When she had told him, he had just stared at her, unable to take in what she had said. But then he had seen the smile in her eyes, and his surprise had given way to endless happiness. But now, this glorious feeling had been replaced by sheer panic.

He let go of Cassandra as if burnt. He heard the disappointed whimper that escaped her lips, but he did not care. And thankfully she drifted back into a deep slumber only seconds later.

Severus slipped out of the bed and padded soundlessly into the bathroom, locked the door behind him and stepped into the shower. At first he did not even turn on the water but just stood there, staring blankly ahead of himself.

A baby! Merlin’s pants, he couldn’t be a father! He knew nothing about children, except that they turned into insufferable dunderheads by the age of eleven.

He turned on the water, let it prickle down his back and felt how his muscles relaxed. But it did nothing to ease his mind. With a sigh, he rested his forehead against the cool tiles and took some deep breaths.

A baby! Merlin, he was going to be a father. Cassandra was pregnant with his baby.

His mind filled with thousands of questions. What was he to do with a child? What did he have to offer? Could he even offer love? And what if he turned into his father?

The mere thought made Severus shake. He had never known when his father had started to hate him. He did not even know why he had. Maybe his father had never needed a reason.

What if he would not need a reason either? What if he just turned into a monster, too?

Ridiculous! This was his baby. His and Cassandra’s. And as mawkish as it sounded, this child was the fruit of their love. Why would he not love it?

But still, the thought of becoming a father scared the living daylights out of Severus Snape.

~ ~ ~

When he re-entered the bedroom, Cassandra lay curled up under the blanket, facing the bathroom door. She must have heard him come in, because she opened her sleepy eyes and reached out her hand. And Severus took it, slipped under the blanket and pulled her towards his chest.

‘How long have you known?’ he asked. ‘How far along are you?’

‘I’m eight weeks in,’ Cassandra replied. ‘You can set a clock after my period, so I knew right away. And I went to see Poppy shortly after we returned to Hogwarts.’

‘Why did you not tell me before, Cassandra?’

He felt her shift in his arms, and her voice was shaky when she spoke. ‘I was afraid, Severus. After … after what Yaxley did to me, the Healers told me that I would never be able to carry another child. And Poppy told me that the risk of me losing this baby within the first two months was bigger than …’

She broke off and tried to free herself from Severus’ embrace. But he refused to let go. He pulled her back towards him and cupped her chin with his long, tender fingers. His black eyes locked onto her blue ones, and he saw that hers were filled with tears.

‘Telling you would have made everything so real,’ Cassandra whispered. ‘It would have meant acknowledging this baby. And I was too afraid … I did not dare …’

Carefully, Severus brushed a tear from her cheek. ‘You did not dare hope. You were afraid you would lose this baby.’

Cassandra nodded. ‘By not telling you I could convince myself that the baby did not exist. I did not dare to become attached. Losing my first child had been almost too much to bear. And I did not want to have to go through this once more.’

Awkwardly Severus patted her cheek. He had wanted her to tell him, he had wanted to be there for her. But it did not matter now.

‘But the baby is safe now, is it not?’ he inquired. ‘And you are too?’

To his relief, he saw a smile appear in her eyes. The same smile he had seen the night before.

‘Yes, Severus. I saw Poppy yesterday. Everything is alright.’

He could almost feel her smile tickle his lips as he kissed her. And as he embraced her, he never wanted to let go of her again.

‘Did you say you are eight weeks in?’ he asked after a while. ‘But that means …’

‘Yes, Severus,’ she whispered. ‘This baby was conceived in our room at the Leaky Cauldron, the day we returned to the Wizarding world. The day we returned home.’