Thanks to Trickie Woo for beta reading.
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Chapter XIV: Old Enemies

Time seemed to run differently on Iceland. Severus had been there for only about a week, but he felt strangely relaxed and rested, as if he had been away from his dungeons for months.

He spent as much time as possible with Morgaine. Whether she was working in the garden, carrying out her duties among the priestesses or climbing the moss-clad hills, he was never far away.

He had discovered a side of her he hadn’t known before. He had long known that she was studious and hardworking, but here, in the place where she had grown up and where she knew every tree and stone, where she was in her element, he had discovered a serenity about her which some days made him wonder if it had been right of Dumbledore to bring her to Hogwarts. She seemed to belong here, on Iceland. But then he would never have gotten to know her, and Severus was surely glad that he had. Whenever she smiled at him, he felt as if he were bathing in sunlight after a long and dark winter, and whenever she touched him, he felt the ice melt in his heart.

More than once, he found himself staring at her, wondering how she had managed to break through the protective walls he had so carefully put up around himself, wondering why he had decided to let her in. He was glad that he had. She made him feel good. She made him forget about the memories and sorrows he had been trying to hide for years. Around her, he didn’t have to pretend; she took him as he was, with all his flaws and shortcomings.

She had been right, here on Iceland he was not her teacher, and she was not his student. They were friends, and there were moments when Severus felt that they were becoming more than that. It was an unfamiliar yet wonderful feeling, but at the same time it made Severus uneasy. He knew that it wasn’t right, that he shouldn’t feel this way, because she was his student and he was her teacher, but most of all because he did not know to handle his feelings.

When he went down to Margaret’s house for breakfast one morning, he found Dumbledore sitting alone in the garden.

‘Ah, Severus, finally I get some company,’ the old man greeted him. ‘The girls are busy preparing for the Harvest Feast. They left me here all by myself.’ He gave a theatrical sniffle.

‘The Harvest Feast?’ Severus inquired.

‘Yes, you see, Severus, the women here live by the rules of the Old Faith,’ Dumbledore explained. ‘They celebrate the beginning of winter at the end of October, the return of the light in February and the beginning of spring in May, and now, at the end of summer, they thank Mother Earth for the harvest.’

Severus nodded. He had a faint memory of having studied this subject in History of Magic. It had never really captured his full attention.

‘These celebrations are connected with powerful magic,’ Dumbledore continued. ‘Centuries ago, the priestesses of the Old Faith often chose these days for important rituals. It’s said that children who are begotten on these days will show extraordinary talents. And most Muggles who come here are quite interested in … ah … reproducing.’ He chuckled.

‘You would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Albus?’

Severus hadn’t noticed Margaret entering the garden.

‘Now, for this, my dear, I put the entire blame on your mother,’ Dumbledore replied, blushing slightly. ‘I warn you, Severus, be careful about what you drink at the feast. It could just be a love potion.’

Severus didn’t know what to make of Dumbledore’s words. They sounded dead serious, but at the same time the old man’s eyes were twinkling mischievously.

‘Don’t listen to him, Severus. He just wants to scare you,’ Margaret said, smiling. ‘And don’t worry about the love potions. I am sure you would recognize them. You are, after all, the Potions master of Hogwarts. Why don’t you go and have a look at them? For the sake of precaution. The girls are working in the red painted house at the end of the village. Morgaine will be there, too.’

Severus understood the hint at once. Supervising a bunch of girls brewing potions was the perfect excuse for him to spend some more time with Morgaine. He excused himself and went to find the red painted house Margaret had been talking about.

He found Morgaine among twenty giggling teenage girls. And sure enough, they were brewing love potions. Not the kind of potions that could be found in any of the Potions books at Hogwarts but simple aphrodisiacs that could be brewed without any magic. Severus eyed the different potions with amusement. Most of the girls had stuck to simple and harmless ingredients like balm, basil and cardamom seeds, but others were busying themselves with more potent and more dangerous plants such as henbane and wormwood.

Morgaine handled the bunch of chatty, giggly teenage girls well. They were definitely more interested in talking about boys and the Harvest Feast than learning about herb lore, but Morgaine always found a way to turn their attention back to their potions. Severus was used to unfocused, work-shy students, but a room full of adolescent girls with their hormones running wild was still very nerve-racking. By mid-afternoon, he found himself just as tense as after teaching first-years at Hogwarts. And the worst thing was that the girls here seemed to get even sillier every time he entered the room.

‘They might be a bunch of nincompoops, but they do recognise a good-looking man when they see one,’ Morgaine whispered to him, grinning.

Severus raised an eyebrow. This was the first time she had commented on his appearance, and he did not know whether he was supposed to say anything or not. He was saved by Margaret entering the room.

‘Talking about good-looking men’, she said, ‘you have a visitor, Morgaine. Go and say hello. I’ll take care of your hens. And take Severus with you. I cannot guarantee his safety here.’

They left the chatty bunch of girls and walked through the village to Margaret’s house.

‘I wonder who would come to visit me,’ Morgaine said. ‘At this time of the year, people usually only come here for the Harvest Feast, and I think they have all arrived already.’

Severus peered towards the hedges in Margaret’s garden. He caught sight of a man with light brown hair and shabby clothes. He seemed familiar.

‘Remus!’ Morgaine yelled and broke into a run. The man in the garden opened his arms and embraced her affectionately.

Severus felt his stomach clench and considered turning around and walking away. The man had looked familiar already from a distance, and Remus wasn’t such a common name. This was definitely not someone he was looking forward to meeting again. But it was too late to leave. Morgaine had already taken Remus by the hand and was pulling him in Severus’ direction.

‘Severus, I’d like you to meet a good friend of mine. Remus, this is Severus Snape. Severus, Remus Lupin.’

Severus stood tall and rigid, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his eyes slightly narrowed. He ignored the hand Lupin had extended towards him. ‘Lupin,’ he said curtly.

Why Lupin? Of all the people in the world, why did just Lupin have to come here? Severus felt the rage building up inside him. He truly despised this man. His first impulse had been to turn and leave. The second had been to strangle Lupin. He didn’t know how long he would be able to keep his control, but since he did not want to lose his face, he decided to follow his first impulse.

‘I will see you at dinner, Morgaine,’ he said briskly, turned on his heels and left without another word. He could feel her eyes on his back when he walked away, and he heard her talk to Lupin.

‘Do you two know each other, Remus?’

‘Yes, we went to school together,’ Lupin replied.

‘Oh,’ Morgaine sounded surprised. ‘He doesn’t seem glad to see you. What did you do? Blow up his Potions set?’

The last thing Severus heard was Lupin’s sigh. ‘That’s a long story, Morgaine, a very long story.’

I had never seen Severus in such a state. He did his best to control himself, but I had known him long enough to sense that he was furious. That he left in such an unceremonious fashion just proved my suspicion.

Remus told me his side of the story. They had been at school together, Remus in Gryffindor, Severus in Slytherin. Remus had made friends, Severus hadn’t. And the friends Remus had made really enjoyed bullying Severus whenever they got a chance. Remus was truly sorry that he never stood up to them, but who could blame him? He had never had many friends. Why should he risk losing the few he had by sticking up for a Slytherin? A Slytherin who would probably never have thanked him. But Severus did blame him. Even now, over a decade later, he had not forgiven him. However, all this still did not explain the hatred I had seen in Severus’ eyes.

Walking away had done nothing to cool Severus’ temper. He was still fuming with rage when he arrived at his quarters.

I should not have lost control like this, he said to himself.

But how could he not have? This was one of the men he despised more than anyone else. Lupin was one of the Marauders, one of Potter’s best friends, one of the people who had made his life miserable for seven long years. And Morgaine obviously considered him a friend.

Again, Severus felt his stomach lurch. This scenario was just too familiar. He had been through this before, and he had already once lost his best friend to a Marauder. Would it happen again? He could feel his hands shaking and tried to steady himself by holding on to the bookshelf. He was just considering ripping it from the wall when Morgaine entered the room.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked. Her eyes locked onto his the moment he turned to face her. She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed in front of her chest. She wouldn’t leave before he explained himself. Severus sensed that clearly.

‘How did you come to know Lupin?’ he inquired. His voice was surly and cold.

‘He is one of my oldest friends. I’ve known him since I was a child. He sometimes came to spend some weeks of his summer vacations here. And after my eleventh birthday, Dumbledore hired him to tutor me.’

‘Do you have any idea how dangerous this man is, Morgaine?’ Severus could hear his voice tremble with anger.

‘You mean do I know that Remus is a werewolf?’ Morgaine asked calmly. ‘Of course I do.’

Yes, of course she knew. That’s why she had been experimenting with the Wolfsbane Potion. Severus snorted. How could it have taken him so long to figure that out?

‘That’s why Remus is here. He sometimes comes to spend the Full Moon here during the summer. Up here, the nights are shorter, and the transformation isn’t that painful.’

The compassion in Morgaine’s voice made Severus lose his temper. He glared at her, and his voice wasn’t much more than a hiss when he spoke.

‘He tried to kill me, Morgaine.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Ha, good Lupin has not told you about the Marauders’ most glorious prank?’

Severus’ voice was almost triumphant as he told Morgaine about the night Black had lured him to the Shrieking Shack where Lupin had been waiting, fully transformed. Now, this little piece of information would surely make her see Lupin in a different light.

But her voice was annoyingly calm when she spoke again. ‘A werewolf has no idea about who he’s attacking. He’d kill his best friend if he crossed his path. It wasn’t Remus’s fault.’

So now she was defending him! Severus felt his heart pound in his chest. He turned to face the bookshelf again, unable to look at Morgaine any longer.

‘You should not associate with the likes of him.’ He regretted his words the moment they had left his lips, but he would not apologise for them.

He never saw Morgaine’s reaction, and he didn’t hear her leave. When he turned to face her, she had gone.

I didn’t know Severus as a man who could lose control like that. I was confused after his outburst. I needed a friend. So I went straight to Remus.

‘You care a lot for him, don’t you, Morgaine?’ Remus asked after I had told him what Severus had said. And I nodded.

Then Remus looked at me with those sad eyes that always reminded me of the eyes of beaten dog, those sad eyes that made my heart ache.

‘Are you in love, Morgaine?’ he asked. ‘Are you in love with Severus Snape?’

I remember that I just stared at Remus for a while. Back then, I didn’t know what he was talking about. Severus and I had become friends over the years, best of friends, but I couldn’t be in love. Or could I? I was sixteen. I had never had a crush. I had never seen two people in love. How was I supposed to know?

I don’t remember if I gave Remus an answer that day. I don’t know if I even had one. All I know is that something drew me away from him. I had to find Severus.

Severus was sitting under a birch tree at the edge of the river. He had gone there to calm down, to let his thoughts run free. Surprisingly enough, it had worked. His breathing had slowed down, his hands had stopped shaking. And he truly hoped that Morgaine would forgive him his outburst.

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that she was approaching; he had sensed her a while ago. He had also sensed that she was confused and hurt. And he regretted having lost his temper. He regretted having yelled at her.

Her shoulder brushed slightly against his when she sat down beside him. She didn’t speak. And neither did he, although he was aching to ask her forgiveness. But Severus Snape had never learnt how to apologise. He didn’t know what to say. After a while, he decided to just state the obvious.

‘I should not have flared up like that.’

‘No, you shouldn’t.’

‘I have no right to tell you whom to associate with.’

‘No, you haven’t.’

Morgaine’s voice was calm and warm. Severus could tell that she was not angry. He knew, however, that she was disappointed. Eyes still closed, he reached out for her hand.

Forgive me, Morgaine.

The thought was echoing in his mind, but he was incapable of putting it into words.

He did not know if she was listening in on his thoughts that afternoon, he did not know if she would even allow his thoughts to enter her mind, but when he felt her fingers close around his, he knew that his apology had been accepted.

Some wounds never heal.

I still didn’t understand why Severus had decided to hate Remus so much, but I accepted that they would never be friends. I was truly sorry for that because I loved them both, and I knew that I could never turn from either of them.

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A/N: Plants and herbs mentioned in this chapter:

In folklore, balm, basil and cardamom seeds are said to act as aphrodisiacs when added to food.

Wormwood: Infusion of wormwood can be used as stimuli, for example in love potions.

Henbane: Modern witches no longer work with henbane because of its poisonous attributes. In the Old Days, however, certain parts of henbane were used in love-stimulating potions.