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The Moment It Began by sindie11 [Reviews - 2]

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It was tempting to just go up to his room like always, but whatever was cooking was now threatening to boil over, and Eileen hadn't bothered to move. Severus went into the kitchen and removed the pot from the heat, finding chicken noodle soup inside. He quietly went about placing a bowl in front of his mother and setting two other places. He knew his father wouldn't be joining them any time soon, but when Tobias woke hours later, he would be demanding where his dinner was. Severus was glad his father would not be an issue that evening. For once, he would try eating at the kitchen table with his mother, the closest thing to a normal family meal he could have.

After everything was ready, Severus took the seat across the small table and surveyed his mother. Eileen hadn't touched the soup yet, nor did she seem to even notice it was there. Severus, feeling a pang of guilt surface again, watched her for a minute, looking for any sign of recognition. She was alive and breathing, but to him, she already seemed dead.

Dead... Severus inwardly cringed. He remembered clearly how she had died, and he wondered if there wasn't something he could have done to save her. He pushed all thoughts of her death in another life out of his mind, too ashamed to focus on them further now. This was his chance, wasn't it? He'd wanted to live his life over, and now was the opportunity to right what had gone wrong before... and that didn't just mean in regards to Lily.

Hating himself for being so selfish since his arrival back home, for Severus knew sequestering himself to his room for days and brooding about the unfairness of his life were the exact same things he'd done when he was a teenager before, Severus made a choice in this moment to be a man. He was a grown wizard, for Merlin's sake. He had been through more in his relatively short life than most people ever would. What had he learned from those experiences?

Life wasn't fair. Well, if that much wasn't already strikingly obvious, he didn't know what was. Life may not have been fair, but life was always what one made of it. Now, Severus knew he had a choice. What would he make of his life?

He reached across the table, clasping Eileen's cold hand in his own. "Mum, listen to me," he implored firmly. "It's me again, your son, Severus. Will you please eat your dinner? I'll be here, Mum; I'll be sitting right here with you. Eat your dinner, Mum... please."

Just when he thought he might have to ask again, Eileen nodded perceptibly and reached for the spoon with her other hand. She picked it up and slowly took of spoonful of soup and swallowed it. Severus didn't let go of her hand. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed to help her if he held on. He watched as she ate the entire bowl before releasing his grip.

He then ate his soup in silence, his dark eyes flickering to his mother every few seconds to see how she was faring. She had managed to pick up her cup of tea and take a few careful sips from it. He was encouraged by every movement she made, as if he were a father teaching his child how to walk.

Severus was almost finished eating, thinking the whole meal would pass in silence, when Eileen spoke. "Where did you go today, Severus?"

Something inside him swelled with joy. She had asked a question of her own volition, no prompting on his part.

"Do you remember Lily Evans, Mum?" he asked. When she nodded, he continued, "Well, there's your answer. I went to visit her."

"Ah," Eileen said delicately. She paused so long that Severus assumed she was done speaking, but then she asked, "She's the pretty girl whose family is Muggle, correct?"

"Yes," Severus replied carefully. "Why?"

"Just be careful, Severus. You're certain these Muggles aren't like..."

Aren't like Father, he thought angrily. "No," he said evenly. "No, the Evans family is nice enough, although Lily's older sister is rather unpleasant." As if I'm not.

If Eileen had anything else to say, she didn't elaborate. The fact that she had asked a couple of questions and referred to her own husband in a negative manner were promising to Severus. She wasn't completely gone. Perhaps it wasn't too late.

x x x x x

Severus found that his days were much improved ever since his talk with Lily. He ate dinner with his mother every evening, and most of the time, his father was either out drinking or passed out on the couch. He could bear his father's muttered drunken threats if it meant seeing his mother smile or hearing her speak.

He spent far less time confined to his bedroom as well. He realized that he had been acting like a moody teenager feeling sorry for himself by doing so, and for now, his pride had relented. He wouldn't go as far as to say he was happy, but he was indeed content.

Severus was too jaded to be happy.

The days were long and lazy. On this particular day in late July, Severus and Lily were in their favorite spot among the trees and grass. Both were stretched out, lying on their backs, staring at the sky. A few clouds passed slowly high above, but the sky was otherwise a lovely shade of blue.

"Sev?" Lily asked.

"Mmm?" Severus replied, feeling his eyelids become heavy.

"I'm glad for this."

"This?"

"You know... to just be here... with you."

A small smile graced his lips. The warmth of the sun on his face, the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind, the feel of the grass tickling his arms... he could have died in this moment and almost forgotten about his past life.

Almost.

"My mother is talking again," he said.

When no reply came, Severus turned his head to see Lily beaming. "That's great, Sev," she said sincerely.

"It's a small step," he replied with a shrug. He didn't want to make a bigger deal of it than it was. He had to be realistic.

"So, what does this mean, exactly?" Lily ventured.

"It means she's talking to me; that's all," Severus responded. He almost asked, "What would you have it mean?", but he knew what she would say.

Lily, with all her glamorous ideas about people, would think Eileen would make a complete recovery, that she would be the mother Severus needed and wanted. Severus didn't want to hear those false hopes. There were no promises, no guarantees.

Lily was frowning a little now, and Severus wondered if he'd said something to upset her. "Look, Lily, I- I just want to take it one day at a time."

Lily nodded. She seemed to understand.

The silence returned, and Severus fell asleep.

Sometime later, he awoke, finding it was nearly dark. Lily had fallen asleep as well, so he gently shook her awake.

As they walked back toward the street, Lily was saying, "I can't believe we were out for that long."

"Yes, well, we were," Severus said, pointing out the obvious.

When they reached the point of going their separate ways, they exchanged their good nights. For a moment, Severus thought Lily had expected him to kiss her, but the moment passed, and it was too late. A little awkwardly, he repeated his good night and began heading home.

Within five minutes, Severus reached his home on Spinner's End. From the curb, he thought he could hear shouting coming from within the house. Knowing his parents were fighting, a part of him wanted to turn away, but he knew the right thing to do was to enter and protect his mother from his father's unjust wrath.

Sure enough, upon stepping through the front door, Severus witnessed his father standing over Eileen, his fists raised and ready to strike. Eileen was cowering in evident fear, his eyes wide with horror upon seeing Severus there.

"Go, Severus!" she shouted.

"No," Severus said firmly. "Enough of this."

He strode toward his father and drew his wand, aiming it directly at him.

The Moment It Began by sindie11 [Reviews - 2]

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