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Just Like Heaven by potterverse [Reviews - 4]

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I would also like to thank the wonderful musicians who wrote the amazing songs that helped inspire this story.

Thanks, to Lily, my beta reader for all her help.


“This is incredible, starving, insaitiable. Yes, this is love for the first time. Well you’d like to think you were invincible. Yeah, weren’t we all once, until we felt loss for the first time? Well, this is the last time. This is the last time.”

Brilliant Dance By Dashboard Confessional


“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Save your breath.”

“I’m so sorry, Lily. I didn’t mean to say that… But you promised. You promised not to tell!” Severus both pleaded and yelled.

“I didn’t tell anyone!” she yelled back. “I don’t know how those idiots figured it out, but it wasn’t through me.”

“Then how?! You are the only one who knew!”

“Maybe someone looked at your book when you didn’t realize it,” she said, averting her eyes.

“You’re lying to me. I can tell…How could you…Who was it? Was it Potter? Did he pry it out of your pretty lips?” Severus spat back, fully enraged.

Lily stood outside the portrait of her common room as anger and hot tears filled her eyes.

She finally wrenched the words from her chest. “It was Remus… He asked me how you do it. He’s very interested in Defence…He’s really smart and he was just curious…”

“I can’t believe you betrayed me…he’s part of their group… you see what they do… I thought you loved me more…”

Lily was cut to the quick by his last remark and the tear streaming down Snape’s angry face. She wanted to hold him and apologize and make everything alright, but she was just too furious.

“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”

“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood. It just --”

“Slipped out?”


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“I found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea. That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me.”

Just Like Heaven by the Cure



After walking away from the Gryffindor common room, Severus came undone.

He walked blindly. He was searching for a place to hide. Unknowingly, he descended further and further into the depths of the castle, spiralling down along with his emotions. He walked and walked until he ended up at a door.

He grabbed the handle and found that it was unlocked. Encompassed by darkness he whimpered, “Lumos,” and closed the door behind him. He absent-mindedly surveyed the room as he sat in the middle of the floor and hugged his knees to his chest.

It was just an old storage closet that was as tiny, dark and neglected as the figure that crouched in it.

He did the thing he promised himself he would never do again: he began to cry.
At first it was silent tears, but from the years of pent up emotion, it built into sobs and finally into yells of pain and sorrow.

After he was spent, weak and shivering, another emotion began to warm his chest. It spread until his whole body was thoroughly heated. It was an emotion he knew well. It was comfortable and it made him feel strong. It was anger. But even it grew
and turned into rage.

He pulled the object that he had cherished the most and looked at it. The braid looked the same as it had when he had received it. Unlike his own hair, he had cared for the object well. He looked at it with his tear-stained face and almost gave in again, but then balled it up in his fist and threw it to the floor.

Fueled anew with rage and resolve, he pointed his wand at his most treasured possession and incinerated it.

He threw open the door and strode quickly through the castle, his opened school robes billowing behind him. Again, he pledged to himself that he would never cry again. A promise he would break four years later.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I want to know how it all works out. I had a feeling we were fading out. I didn’t know that people faded out so fast, that people faded out. And there was nothing left to fix it, but there it is…We were only one push from the nest… we were only one argument from death… The sun rises, but the sun also sets…”

The Sun Also Sets by Ryan Adams



Severus stepped into the fireplace and found himself at Malfoy Manor. Lucius had agreed to meet with him, no questions asked. Lucius had already assumed what the meeting was about, and had awaited it with excited anticipation.

“Severus, it is always a pleasure,” Lucius said silkily, reaching out his hand and shaking Snape’s.

“Likewise, Lucius,” Snape stated with a slight bow. Severus always felt horribly lowly and dirty around Lucius, but was constantly surprised by how gracious Lucius was to him. It almost felt like some sort of respect.

Severus sat in the chair Lucius waved his arm at and tried to emulate Lucius’ perfect posture.

“What can I do for you, friend?” Lucius asked, with his flawless, practiced smile.

“I…I came to talk to you about your … acquaintance,” Severus said, with a hint of nervousness.

Lucius tried to contain his glee. “Oh, you mean the leader of the club I mentioned to you in passing.”

They were well aware that this conversation needed to be spoken casually and inconspicuously, as if they were arranging a chat over tea.

“Yes,” Severus whispered.

“Are you sure you are ready to make this kind of commitment? You know the permanence of your decision.” Lucius smiled. Of course, he was referring to the acquiescence of receiving the Dark Mark.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” Severus said definitively, trying to reassure himself as well as Lucius.

“I am very glad to hear it. You will be a wonderful addition. You of course will be under my tutelage and I will make sure you will have all the instruction you need in etiquette and you will be given a new wardrobe and money at your disposal. You will find our leader is quite generous to those who are loyal and useful, and I am sure you will be both, Severus.”

“I am sure I can be helpful,” he murmured.

Severus did not care for any of the perks of his decision. He just wanted to belong to a society of power. He wanted to be accepted and even respected for his talents, instead of chided and shunned. He also wanted to unleash his hate onto the world that had continuously rejected him. In his heart, he felt he had nothing to lose; all he had wanted was already lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The powers that be, that force us to live like we do bring to me knees when I see what they’ve done to you….I found a picture of you. Oh, those were the happiest days of my life. Like a break in the battle was your part, in the wretched life of a lonely heart.”

Back on the Chain Gang by The Pretenders



He began to search frantically. He had no idea or plan as to what he was looking for, only that it had to be from her. He knew it was stupid to be here of all places. The house of not only a mortal enemy, but also now a murderer to boot. Severus had always hated Black, but he was truly surprised and disgusted that Sirius would have been the one to reveal his closest friends’ hiding place. But even all that seemed to blur and fade, as Severus desperately scoured the room.

‘There must be something. Just one little thing, please, please let me find something,’ he thought, miserably.

He was not only horrified by what had taken place, but at the part he had played in it. He was ridden with guilt. Not only for telling the prophecy, but also for destroying or returning any remembrance of her he had. If he could only find one thing, just one, no matter how small, it would mean something. It would be something to hold on to. His whole life depended on having an item that she had once touched.

He found what he was looking for in a drawer. The two things were together, tied up in a red ribbon, the photograph and the letter. He pulled them out and stared. Then he quickly tore the photograph in two and left the other half on the floor. He did the same with the second page of the letter.

The discarded pieces meant nothing to him; all that mattered were the parts he now had in his hands.

There she was, alive and smiling, and waving. There was the handwriting he had seen so many times before on homework assignments and in books. He remembered how she used to tuck the quill behind her ear and how she would chew on her bottom lip, when deep in concentration.

It came in waves. Everything, everything all at once, even the parts he though he had forgot. Even the things he had locked away in his heart and promised to never feel again. It all came crashing down. Just as he did, falling to his knees.

Just Like Heaven by potterverse [Reviews - 4]

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