---

A full week passed, during which Snape became more and more distant. Violet had not returned to her lessons, the Headmaster had requested a whole cauldron of Dreamless Sleep, and there was no news from Lucius Malfoy.

Snape had called off his meeting with Lily Potter; he needed to focus on what was truly important. He spent many hours in the library researching for Professor Slughorn and devouring everything he set eyes on regarding Legilimency and Occlumency.

Violet struggled to decide what to do about her appointments with Snape. Dumbledore would not let this go on for too long, and she was unwilling to disclose to him everything she knew. The idea of working regularly with Severus Snape, since his alarming confession, made her skin crawl. Unlike him, she just could not turn off her feelings. She considered the matter for some time, thinking back on her conversation with Professor McGonagall. The thing with Snape however, was that he could place his feelings into little compartments.

“What has gotten you all in a state?” asked Matthew McMillian, as they were sitting at the Ravenclaw table eating dinner. “You seem very preoccupied.”

“I am. I’m supposed to meet with Severus Snape to work on my abysmal Potions lessons,” Violet told him, frowning.

“So?” Matthew prodded.

“I don’t know,” Violet hedged. “I don’t really trust him.”

“What does trust have to do with it?” Matthew asked, perplexed.

Violet shrugged.

“Shouldn’t you just be concerned with whether or not he could teach you the information?” Matthew suggested. “Unless, of course, you are concerned for his sense of propriety –”

“No,” Violet replied, “that isn’t it. I’m not concerned to be alone with him or anything like that.”

“Are you sure?” Matthew questioned.

“Absolutely, but thanks for your concern,” Violet told him, smiling.

Matthew nodded his head. “I would be more concerned with my Potions grade than his trustworthiness, but that’s just me.”

Violet smiled broadly, considering that Matthew was probably right about this one.

---

It was Wednesday afternoon at one o’clock when the door to the Potions classroom opened and Violet stepped in, cautiously looking around. The room was empty, so she walked over to the table she normally sat at and unloaded her things.

When the bottom of her cauldron touched the surface of the table, a stack of parchment appeared in the corner. There were seven -- one for every lesson she had missed with Severus Snape.

Violet had just finished dumping in the last bit of dried ingredients from parchment number one, when a door across from her table opened silently. Violet glanced up as Snape walked slowly over to where she worked. For a long time, neither of them spoke.

Then finally – “We will skip none of them,” Snape said, coolly.

Violet nodded her head to show she had heard.

Snape leaned his back against the table directly opposite Violet and folded his arms securely over his chest, frowning slightly.

Violet’s hand trembled as she stirred the liquid that was simmering in her cauldron.

“Now, four stirs counter-clockwise,” Snape instructed, quietly.

Violet’s hand stilled and she began slowly turning the potion in the opposite direction.

“It smells correct,” Snape told her, relaxing his stance slightly. He stepped lightly over to her table as she removed the spoon and stopped the heat.

Snape peered down into the cauldron.

“Correct color,” he announced, placing his palms down on either side of the cauldron. “Two vials.”

Violet pulled two small vials from her cloak pocket and filled them with the potion. She placed the first in the cooling rack, and the second she handed to Snape. Their fingers touched and Snape felt her shudder.

Violet lifted her head and fixed him with a piercing gaze.

“It is difficult,” she breathed, “to justify who I know with what you are.”

Snape’s lip curled but he did not respond.

“You just don’t fit,” she told him, matter-of-factly.

Snape shook his head.

“I have warned you,” he began, coolly.

Impulsively, Violet reached across the table then and placed her palm on Snape’s cheek. It was soft and warm against his cool, taut skin. The scent of vanilla filled his nose. He almost closed his eyes from the pleasure of it.

Snape jerked away from her hand, snapping his eyes onto her face and forcing her features into focus. She stood simply and beautifully before him. He scowled at her.

“That is completely inappropriate,” he barked.

“Why?” she challenged.

“I am your tutor,” he replied, stepping back.

“Say what you mean, Severus,” she told him.

“Don’t play games,” he warned, clenching his fists.

“And you mean to say that someone of the likes of me could never be interested in the likes of you,” she stated flatly.

Snape glared at her.

“You are partly right,” she told him in a placating tone. “If you were the man I remembered, then I would be attracted to you, but who you have chosen to be breaks my heart.”

“Thank you for letting me know,” he sneered. “I am sure now I will be able to sleep soundly at night.”

Violet sighed. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

“Don’t worry,” he told her, clearing away the rest of her work with his wand, “I share your sentiment.”

He turned and left her standing there wondering what exactly he had meant.

Violet packed up her things silently and went back to her common room. It was nearly empty so she sat heavily in one of the blue-upholstered, throne-back chairs. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Normally so rational, she was surprised at her impulsive action. It seemed that when it came to Snape, she was having more and more difficulty thinking clearly. His response to her touch on his cheek belied his consternation at what had happened.

Violet knew now that he found her attractive, no matter what words he had used. She tried to focus on how that could help her to persuade him to the truth. She considered going to speak to Dumbledore, but she did not want to break Snape’s confidence. She feared that once she had, she would lose him altogether.

Things were so complicated right now. She sighed heavily and stood quickly. She left the common room and strode through the corridors. Her intuition told her that she should really just leave well enough alone. Perhaps what she really needed to do was to apologize.

---

Snape had difficulty concentrating as he tried to focus on the Occlumency book he was perusing through in the library. It would do him well to keep as far ahead of Bellatrix as he could. His mind however, kept returning to his last meeting in Dumbledore’s office. Since then, things were just not right to him.

He had found a way to earn the respect of a wizard of Dumbledore’s stature, yet he also had a mostly private audience with the Dark Lord. He felt very torn by the entire situation. What’s more, he completely believed his words to Violet. Violence was only necessary because of resistance.

At the end of afternoon classes, Snape snapped the book shut and placed it carefully on Irma Pince’s desk. He walked for a long time, just strolling around the castle, trying to figure everything out. It seemed that quite recently, everything was beginning to get very slowly out of hand.

Snape had held it against Dumbledore for all these years that the Marauders had never been justly punished for the little trick that had almost cost him his life. Now, just this week in fact, Dumbledore had stated his respect for Snape’s potion making ability. Where was the truth in all this?

“Severus?” a woman’s voice called.

Snape stopped walking and turned on his heel to face Violet. He lifted his eyebrows in exasperation but remained silent.

“May I walk with you?”

He nodded his assent but did not offer her his arm. He wondered why she would seek him out now.

“I owe you an apology,” she explained as they began to walk in step along the corridor.

“For?” he asked.

“For everything,” she replied.

He looked at her sardonically. “Accepted,” he said shortly; perhaps now she would leave him alone.

“No, Severus, really!” she exclaimed, stopping and turning to face him.

He looked at her coolly and was surprised to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

She took a deep breath. “Look, can I be honest here?”

Snape felt his stomach lurch and the same feeling of discomfort creep up his back. He tried to push away the disquiet, but he could not focus. His heartbeat had sped up and his breathing was shallow.

“Severus, you are breaking my heart,” Violet told him as one tear made its way down her cheek.

He looked at her with disdain and opened his mouth to speak.

“Let me finish!” she insisted.

He closed his mouth so quickly that she heard the click of his teeth.

“I doubt that you have any idea how difficult this is for me,” she said, “being with you so often. Watching who you are and then who you tell me you will be. Severus, you have a brilliant mind. There are so many things you could do, so many good things. Why would you throw it all away? For what? To get back at a bunch of bullies?”

Snape did not notice that her hand was resting gently on his cloak.

“What did you say?” Snape asked her, sharply. “What did you just say?”

“I’m not stupid, Severus. I saw how they treated you. James and Sirius… they were merciless. Remus, not as much… but still, they were horrible and mean.”

Snape looked through her, memories from years before playing out in his head. He blinked slowly. Violet’s face swam up to him, a look of deepest compassion. He tensed, searching her eyes for any sign of pity.

“You have no need to apologize,” he stated quietly.

She remained silent, holding his gaze with her own.

“What would you have me do?” he asked finally, dropping his gaze to the floor.

She ran her hand up the front of his cloak, slowly coming to rest along the side of his neck. She had the softest touch he had ever known. He swallowed and closed his eyes.

“You are not a killer, Severus,” she whispered, reassuringly.

She stepped closer to him and, very slowly, she circled him with her arms. He did not move to return her embrace but he did not break free either, for which she was grateful.

They stood that way for a few moments in silence. Snape tried to memorize the feel of her against his chest. Slowly, he put his arms around her, pulling her more tightly against him. His eyes snapped open.

“Violet!” he exclaimed, despairingly.

“We can fix this,” she assured him.

He wrenched away from her, his breath coming in short gasps.

“Do not say I am not a killer! I have killed a man, Violet. You know this to be true,” he reminded her soberly with his back to her. “I am bound to him for life now. There is nothing to fix.”

“Dumbledore,” she begged.

“No!” he exclaimed.

Violet took a deep breath and walked around to face him.

“What will you do then?” she asked, calmly.

“I will do my duty as I have pledged,” he told her simply.

“Good Lord, Severus!” she exclaimed. “This is not a time to stand on principle.”

“What would you have me do?” he asked again.

“You made a mistake,” she began.

“I made a choice,” he corrected, tensing. “I made a choice for myself.”

Violet shuddered.

“When the Dark Lord receives the respect of the rest of the wizarding world, none of this will matter,” he told her.

“You fail to see, Severus,” she told him, “that this is nothing short of war.”

Snape scowled. “I need to leave,” he said, looking at his watch.

“No, please!”

“I think we can agree, Violet,” Snape stated, “that this is becoming very serious business.”

Violet sighed resignedly. “Are you seeing the Death Eaters?”

Snape’s eyes flashed. “Do not worry about things that do not concern you.”

She grabbed his hand by the wrist. “Everything about you concerns me,” she told him firmly, lifting his hand and laying it on her cheek, “don’t you understand?” She closed her eyes.

Snape looked down on her, completely at a loss for what to say to this beautiful girl who seemed so taken with him.

“Violet,” he murmured.

She opened her eyes. “Trust me,” she begged.

“I will not endanger you,” he replied, looking deeply into her eyes, willing her to understand the gravity of the situation.

“We are safe here,” she encouraged stepping toward him. “This is Hogwarts.”

“If this is war,” he reminded, “as you are so fond of saying, then there is safety nowhere. I must go.”

“Be careful,” she begged, letting go of his hand.

Snape stalked away quickly, taking deep breaths and trying to calm his beating heart. He rounded another corner and leaned his hand against the cool, rock wall for support. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, continuing to take slow deep breaths. He stood silently in the dimly lit hallway, trying to sort through his feelings toward Violet. He was due to meet Bellatrix in twenty minutes and he had no idea how to shut out so many memories, especially memories he was so emotionally invested in.

He cursed suddenly and slammed his palm against the wall.

“Are you alright, Severus?” Dumbledore appeared silently at his side.

He looked to Dumbledore coolly, hoping desperately that his eyes did not betray him.

Dumbledore met his gaze.

“I have to… In a few minutes I will… I can’t,” Snape stammered.

“Do you trust me, Severus?” Dumbledore asked, quietly.

Snape did not reply immediately. He ran his fingers through his lank hair and sighed heavily.

“Sir, I…” he began.

“Severus, do you trust me?” Dumbledore demanded.

When Snape still did not reply, Dumbledore frowned.

“Sometimes in life, Severus, people make choices in haste, before they have all the information or before their life changes in some way,” he stated. “When this happens, situations need to be reassessed and plans need to be made.”

“When did Violet talk to you?” Snape demanded, angrily.

“Violet did not speak to me,” Dumbledore replied, calmly.

“Who did she talk to, then?” Snape demanded.

“Severus,” Dumbledore said, sounding weary suddenly, “Violet has not broken your confidence. I do not have time to get into this now. Actually, it is you that does not have the time.”

Dumbledore tapped his watch with the wand that Snape just noticed he was holding. Reflexively, Snape stepped back.

“I ask again, Severus, do you trust me?”

Dumbledore pulled a small empty bottle out of his cloak.

Snape nodded once.

Dumbledore stepped close to Snape and raised his wand to Snape’s temple.

“This will not hurt,” he stated, “but I need to see to be sure.”

Snape felt the tug of Legilimency. Reflexively, he closed his mind in on itself.

“I need to see,” Dumbledore reminded him quietly.

Snape crossed his arms tightly over his chest to shut out his embarrassment at being attracted to Violet. He cheeks flushed as he thought of her and he could feel his memories snaking away from him. He opened his eyes, momentarily alarmed, and saw the memories floating like a gossamer strand from his mind to Dumbledore’s wand. When the strand broke free from his mind, he felt oddly empty. He watched Dumbledore carefully capture the strand in the glass bottle. Once it was safely inside, Dumbledore sealed the top and placed an Unbreakable Charm upon it.

“It will be safe here, I promise,” Dumbledore told him. “I will return it to you when you come back. Ask me your questions then.”

Again he patted Snape kindly on the back.

“Go now,” Dumbledore commanded. “Tardiness will result in suspicion.”

It seemed as if Dumbledore vanished from the corridor; Snape had not even offered his thanks.

---

Snape’s meeting with Bellatrix was fairly routine. He was particularly bothered however, by the fact that Bellatrix had been able to break into some of his older memories of Violet Evans; things he remembered about her from when he and Lily would study together at her home.

“Now that’s a darling girl,” Bellatrix had cooed when she first caught sight of her.

Snape flexed his hands by his side, determined to shut down his blossoming feelings toward Violet that these thoughts of her seemed to cause in him. It was imperative that Bellatrix not know anything more.

As if she could sense his struggle, Bellatrix asked, “Come now, Severus, isn’t there a certain special someone just for you?”

At that moment, Snape was able to drive Bellatrix completely from his mind, the effort of which brought him to his knees.

“Good,” she cooed softly, “you are learning to focus your emotional energy.”

Snape breathed heavily and pushed himself back up to his feet.

“Isn’t that girl Lily Evans’s sister?” Bellatrix asked.

“So?” Snape asked indifferently.

The door across the room opened loudly and Lucius Malfoy stalked in.

“Bella, we must go,” he stated.

“Our friend here seems to be in thick with some Muggles,” she told Malfoy, unable to hide her glee as she motioned toward Snape.

Malfoy nodded in Snape’s direction.

“Severus,” he said in greeting.

Returning his attention to Bellatrix, Malfoy scowled.

“You tell me these things as if you do not think the Dark Lord knows who his associates are,” he said. “I assure you once again, Bella; the Dark Lord has some very definite plans for our young friend here. But as I said, we must go.”

Bellatrix eyed Snape once again. He stood a short distance away, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

“He is very good,” she conceded finally, looking at Lucius.

“Severus, you may take dinner in my study,” Malfoy remarked. “I will contact you when your presence is needed here. Good night.”

Snape opened his eyes slowly, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked from Malfoy to Bellatrix.

“Thank you for dinner,” he said to their backs as they hurried from the room.

Snape made his way cautiously to Malfoy’s study. As soon as he stepped inside, Dobby the house-elf appeared with a steaming tray of food. He ate quickly, wanting to be out of Malfoy Manor as soon as he could.

---

Snape climbed the steps slowly in the dark house at Spinner’s End. The throbbing in his head had quickly subsided this time. Practicing with Bellatrix did have some advantages.

He walked through his room, waving his wand to light a couple of candles. He sat down heavily in the wooden desk chair and sighed. He conjured a cup of tea and sipped it slowly, thinking about the events of the day.

Tomorrow he would be faced with handling the Dumbledore situation. It was obvious that Dumbledore knew something of what was going on with him outside Hogwarts. He wondered also what Dumbledore knew of Violet. Dumbledore told him to bring his questions when he went back to collect his memory and he intended to do just that.

Dumbledore had left enough of the encounter with Violet for Snape to be very uncomfortable with the way things were heading between them. Snape stared into the flame of the candle absently. He still could not understand what Violet Evans saw in him. It had been a long time since he had seen her before the incident at the banquet hall, but since that time, she had not made much of an effort to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself. True, over the years, he had developed a fondness for her sister Lily, but that had been strained since the incident by the lake in fifth year. During that time, he had never even paid much attention to Violet, let alone entertained any thoughts of having feelings for her.

He frowned. Currently, Snape was not in any position to even think about a relationship with Violet. He had a duty to fulfill, one that was incompatible with any sort of personal life. He felt disappointment weigh heavily on his heart. After all this time, Snape had finally met someone that he could see himself with, and now it was too late.