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April Fools by SnivellusSnape [Reviews - 4]


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A/N: This is a revised version.

Severus Snape was having a very day, it was seven in the in morning, he had no coffee or tea and it was April Fools Day. To top it all off, it was bright, the birds were singing and the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall showed no signs of bad weather ahead.

His first class of the day, of course had to be Slytherins and Gryffindors double potions class. Oh how he loathed that old fool for pairing those two of all houses together. "They have to learn how to work together, get over house differences," and so forth until he agreed those many years ago.

The two houses piled in, sitting on their respective sides. Snape glared with his usual sneer on his face.

"Class, I am aware of what today is, so, if there are any hexes thrown in here, be prepared, for you will get a far more worse hex then you could imagine. With that said, turn to page 254, read about the Pepper Up Potion and then brew it. You have two hours, get to work.

They all put some hustle into their bustles and got to it.

All through class Snape watched the entire class, making sure there were no hexes being casted amongst the houses.

However, towards the end of class, he noticed Harry Potter, the bane of his existance, being a little more figity then usual, and his friend Ron Weasley with a very large grin on his face...What were they up to?

Snape called for the class to come to and end and to clean up their work areas. Harry did so in a fast manner and returned to his seat, promptly.

Ron kept jabbing Harry.

Harry had a joke to fulfill. He lost in wizard's chess the night before and for his punishment, he had to delcare his undying love to one Professor Severus Snape.

Harry cautiously got up and walked to the front of the class. Not daring to look Snape in the eyes, he muttered quickly, "Iloveyou."

Snape cocked one of his eyebrows, "What was that Potter?"

Harry composed himself and cleared his voice, "Severus Snape, Potions Master Extraodinare, I think you're the sexiest man alive and I love you!"

Everyone went dead silent, except for Ron and Hermione, who burst into a fit of giggles.

Snape went to a flush pink before Harry started singing "All You Need is Love," then he went to a scarlet colour and hollered at the top of his lungs, "50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR AND DENTENTION FOR THE THREE OF YOU!"

They didn't seem to care, the three of them walked out of the classroom laughing about what had just been done, they would for sure go down into Hogwarts: A History for this one.

Snape spent the rest of the evening after classes in his office, grading his papers and having his food served to him in there. By now, the events of this morning were without a doubt the talk of the school and he could not bare to show his face in front of the whole school tonight.

Around nine there was knock on the door, "Sod off!" The knock came again, and it kept going until he had no choice but to answer the persistent knocking of the one on the other side of the door.

Remus Lupin, DADA teacher, again, was there, with a grin that would put the Grinch to shame.

"Severus I am here to pick up my Wolfsbane potion, seeing to how I am going to be changing soon."

"Ah yes, I forgot, with today and all."

"Ah Severus you're being rediculous about all this. If it were me in your shoes, I would be flattered."

"Yeah well it is not you it is me. Now please excuse me I have to go and get your potion."

Snape exited through a nearly invisible door in the corner. Lupin took this time, to well, play a little joke of his own. He went over to Snape's class, sipping it, whiskey, figures. He pulled a small vile and then unstoppered it to pour Draught of the Living Death into it, courtesy of our own Hermione Granger. Lupin heard the footsteps and quickly returned to where he originally stood.

Snape thrust the goblet into Lupin's hands and returned to his chair. Yet Lupin stayed.

"Is there anything else you would like? Perhaps me to hex you into next year?" Snape then taking a drink of his whiskey.

Lupin smiled, but tried to contain himself. "Oh no, sorry, just...sleep well." and he turned and left.

At that moment, Snape's eyelids started to droop, he knew what that bloody werewolf had meant.

~`~`~
Dream


Snape walked down the stone walkway towards the lake. It was dark and to his liking that day. Then the world around started to swirl and it turned into the utopia of earlier, he turned back towards the castle, wanting the dark, gloominess of his dungeons.

The walkway in front of him opened up and slowly from the depths of who knows where a very starkers form a Lupin came out, complete with his little wolf ears. He gave Snape a quick wink and a sultry wiggle and scurried over to him, only to cling on him and give Snape a quick kiss on the mouth before scurrying off into the woods.

That just upset him more. He quickened his pace and was soon batted over ther head by a bodiless, bat winged Headmaster Dumblerdore. "Where do you think you're running off to Severus? You've got a Quididtch match to attend. Lemon drop?" And as he offered, tiny, lemon drops fell from somewhere off of the old fool's, whatever you would call it.

Snape huffed and he adverted his eyes towards the Quidditch field. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something peek it's head up from the bushes nearby.

"Potter, aren't you suppose to be on your broom, flying 100 feet above our heads in about five minutes?"

"Well yes, but you see," He came around the bush, nekkid. "Why is everyone here NAKED!?" thought Snape. Then his face contorted into a look of sheer disgust. That Potter sprouted long white ears and a VERY fluffy tail, "I keep randomly changing into a rabbit, I think it just may be my animangus form, what do you think? Do I look better white, black, or brown?" Harry said, changing his his colours at will. Snape just looked at the Potter boy, while backing up slowly, watching him and his gadget jump towards him. Snape turned an ran in a blur of speed away from that boy.

Finally to the teachers boxes, he climbed, situating himself between the side of the box and Filch.

This is where Snape felt comfortable, sitting by another ogre like himself.

The game went on, without the Gryffindor seeker of course, which was lazily lounging near the trees at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Slytherin had made all the shots and were in the lead, of course. They scored another goal and Filch jumped up, cheering along with the crowd, when all of a sudden he turned towards Snape, right eye about to bulge out of it's socket and shouted, "Would you like to see.....MY PUSSY?!" He quickly threw back his long brown coat and unzipped his pants and out came, none other than Mrs. Norris.

Snape scrambled backwards, "OH MY GOD!" was all he said, all the way down the stairs, past the hopping Potter and finally down to his musky dungeons.

He made a mental note in the dream..."HEX THE FUCK OUT OF LUPIN!" so he could put this dream into a pensieve and remember it.


April Fools by SnivellusSnape [Reviews - 4]


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