Eight Snape drabbles
A/N: Many thanks to Jackie and Artemis for correcting my mistakes.
The Ghosts, I Called...
A/N: Usual disclaimer. - I wrote this drabble as a present for PM for the occasion of the 3rd Witch meeting in Berlin, 5th of June 2004.
Severus moaned loudly. He felt sick – ready to vomit.
'What have I done to earn this?' he thought desperately. 'Let it end! Please!'
'And these blood-curdling screams – those flickering lights!'
Severus Snape was reduced to a trembling bundle of nerves – he just wanted to get away.
Suddenly there was silence.
Someone tapped him on his shoulder: "Sir? You can open your eyes!"
Carefully Severus opened them, loosened his grip on the beam and got up, slightly swaying.
'Albus and his idiotic ideas!'
"NEVER AGAIN!" Severus bellowed, and with a less than intimidating swish of his robes exited the roller coaster.
A Good Aim
A/N: The German version of this drabble had been an entry for a drabble competition on Schreiberlingers Treffpunkt. And thanks to Erich Kästner.
Lost in thought, Severus walked along the lakeshore reading in an old book about the use of toad poison in potion making. Suddenly something wet hit him right in the face. Utterly disgusted, he removed a tangled piece of cloth from the parchment.
“Who did this?” he asked in a dangerous low voice and scowled at some first years. After a while he growled, “Well, I’m waiting.”
Finally a little boy stepped forward and answered timidly, “I did, sir.”
“Name and house!” Snape bellowed. “I’m going to write to your father.”
The boy gulped. “Severus Snape Jr from Slytherin… Papa.”
A/N: This drabble was inspired by an anecdote about the English physicist P.A.M. Dirac.
"Thus it should be possible to combine the contrary effects of these two ingredients." Severus Snape ended his lecture about the use of motherwort and digitalis in his usual, unadorned way.
He glared at the seventh years, whose faces held the expression of more or less – rather less – understanding.
“Are there any questions?” he asked curtly. Some of his students flinched.
Severus smirked. Suddenly Neville Longbottom raised his trembling hand. “Excuse me, sir. I didn’t understand the use of the Creeping Thyme in the fortification potions.”
“Longbottom,” Snape said unnerved, “This is not a question but a conclusion. Any questions?”
“… an’ then… I spanked the monkey,” Hagrid told Ron and Harry. It was obvious that the boys hung on every word the half giant said.
Severus Snape, who had heard these words, stopped rooted to the spot. His pale skin became even paler and small red spots appeared on his cheeks.
“Hagrid!” Snape bellowed. “These two are your students. How could you forget yourself that much?!”
Ron and Harry started to roar with laughter. Snape shot them a menacing glare.
Hagrid, slightly confused by their reactions, stammered, “B-but P-professor, why… I only told them ‘ow I tam’d King Kong.”
New Blood in the House of Snape
A/N: My contribution to the “The Pregnant Man” Challenge on “Schreiberlingers Treffpunkt” – But I think they had something else in mind. ;)
“Snape is pregnant!”
This news was whispered hastily among the upset and shocked students sitting in the Great Hall.
When it reached the head table, the Potions Master bellowed, “Pregnant?!”
Albus’ twinkling eyes betrayed how much he enjoyed himself with this reaction.
Angrily, Severus Snape hissed at the headmaster, “What gives you the right to allege that?”
“Well, it is the truth, isn’t it?” Albus replied calmly.
Snape looked daggers at his colleagues and the students, and then stormed out of the hall.
“Albus,” McGonagall chided, smiling as she watched Severus leaving, “You really shouldn’t have called your puffskein Snape.”
One By One
A/N: A challenge drabble under the given motto “Good things come to those who wait.”
Only one more piece… Severus suddenly became careful. You never know. But even now it fit. Hope rose inside him.
Now the next piece. His hands started trembling, and only with a great effort, could he control himself. He was near the end. After all this time and all these problems… He remembered the countless times he had cursed silently that he had started this.
Carefully, he pushed his long black hair from his face. What he needed now was a clear view. The last piece.
He had done it!
He had finally completed the five thousand pieces jigsaw puzzle.
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait…
A/N: Another challenge drabble under the given motto “Good things come to those who wait.”
Severus Snape could hardly resist the urge to bury his face in his hands. He wouldn’t admit it, but he briefly thought to start praying.
He wondered if Occlumency could be a way out, but with this idiot even that would be a too great risk.
Suspiciously, Severus watched every move of his hand, every vial he took from the table and the amounts of their contents he poured in the cauldron.
Again five minutes had passed, without anything too serious happening.
The hour was up.
Great relief flooded Severus. Neville Longbottom had passed his O.W.L.s without causing an explosion.
Finally at his goal
A/N: The last challenge drabble under the given motto “Good things come to those who wait.”
Severus bent his knee reverently, and waited until Voldemort told him to stood up.
“Master,” Severus whispered. “It’s done.”
“I knew I could depend on you, Severus,” Voldemort answered in his high pitched voice. “Any survivors?”
“No, Master. Hogwarts now belongs to the Death Eaters.”
Voldemort’s face turned into a satisfied smile. “Take your entitled position by my side, my son.”
Slowly Severus stepped up. After Dumbledore’s and Potter’s death, no one was going to stop him now. Not even this snake face who was his father.
“Avada Kadavra!” Snape hissed, and Voldemort vanished in a green flash of light.
How To Stay Healthy…
A/N: Based on a joke I heard. I couldn’t resist.
Severus eyed the reed organ in Dumbledore’s office. He wasn’t sure if he should be irritated or amused, but there was definitely a condom floating in a water filled glass bowl on top of it.
“Sir?” Snape said. “Why did you place this… thing… on the organ?”
''Isn't it wonderful?” Albus replied. “A few months ago, I was walking down Diagon Alley, and found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease. And you know, I haven't had a cold all winter!''
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