HIGHLY IMPROBABLE


Chapter 27: Full Moon and Empty Arms


*~~~*~~~*

The sleepless nights, the daily fights,
The quick toboggan when you reach the heights;
I miss the kisses and I miss the bites –
I wish I were in love again.

When love congeals, it soon reveals,
The faint aroma of performing seals;
The double-crossing of a pair of heels –
I wish I were in love again.

The pulled out fur of cat and cur,
The fine mismatching of a him and her;
I’ve learned my lesson, but I wish I were
In love again.


*~~~*~~~*

On the first Thursday in June, Snape awoke smothering beneath his pillow after a perverse dream. Perspiration dripping from his brow, he mumbled, “Clancy”, before opening his eyes to discover that he was alone in his own bed in the dungeons.

What a night it had been! One dreadful image shifted into the next, with no pattern or logic. Snape dreamed he was in a forest clearing observing a group of hooded figures in dark robes. They formed a circle around a faceless woman who was pleading with them to free her. As Snape drew nearer, the woman cried, “Save me!”, and he realized it was Clancy. He tried to go to her, but found that his legs had become mired in a bog. The more he struggled to free himself, the deeper he sank.

A full moon appeared from behind a cloud, casting an unholy glow upon the scene. Snape’s eardrums were assaulted with a series of high-pitched howls, and then a large, shaggy creature emerged from the shadows. It was half-man, half-beast, with the body of a wolf and the head of Remus Lupin. Snape screamed in terror as the monster approached Clancy.

The beast knelt to the ground and Clancy climbed upon its back. He led her fearlessly through the ranks of her captors, and as they parted to let the heroic wolf pass, they removed their hoods. Each was revealed as a high ranking official of the Ministry of Magic, and as Clancy and her savior paused, the officials formed a queue. Remus the Good stood proud on his hind legs as a dozen First Order of Merlins displayed on satin ribbons were looped around his neck.

Snape watched, powerless, as the ooze swallowed him up to his knees. Cornelius Fudge stepped forward to present Clancy with a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. She popped the tab and held the beverage in front of her to share with Lupin. The assemblage applauded as wolf and woman paraded past Snape. He reached out to Clancy as she passed, but she merely raised her can of Dr. Pepper in salute and said, “A brew lends pep, Prof.!”

Lupin’s medals dangled directly above Snape, but just beyond his reach. He grasped desperately for them, sinking lower with each attempt. Clancy pulled a map from her pocket, unfolded it, and held it in front of Snape’s face. “Reveal your secrets!” Snape panted, losing strength, and words appeared on the parchment.

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Ellis Lamb and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose away from Miss Norgard.”

Snape shook his head in a fruitless attempt to comprehend the map’s message. “WHO THE DEVIL IS ELLIS LAMB?” he screeched. Clancy and Lupin laughed derisively as the map continued its commentary.

“Miss Norgard would like to register her astonishment that an idiot like you cannot deduce that Ellis Lamb is an anagram for 'slimeball!'”

“Clancy! Help me!” Snape pleaded, as the quagmire consumed his torso.

“Sorry, Severus. You said you don’t need any help from me, remember? And another thing,” she reminded him, “a brew lends pep, Prof.!”

Confused, and shaking in agony, the last image he saw was Lupin strutting triumphantly into the night with Clancy riding him piggyback. Too weak to struggle, Snape slipped unnoticed into the black, bottomless bog.


*~~~*~~~*

After a long shower, Snape still could not quiet his nerves or forget the humiliation he’d suffered in his dream. He decided to skip breakfast and go directly to his classroom.

Clancy had overslept. Arriving late to the Great Hall, she was surprised to find both Snape and Lupin absent. She took a seat beside Flitwick.

“Good morning, my dear,” the diminutive professor greeted her.

“Good morning, Filius. Have you seen Remus?”

“He’s outside on the grounds preparing an obstacle course for his third-years. They’re taking their final exam today.”

“Oh, what fun! Perhaps I’ll go observe his class after breakfast.”

“Is our Anagram Club still on for tonight?” Flitwick inquired.

“Why, of course, Filius. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ve been working on a special anagram all week, and I believe I’ve come up with one that will stump all three of you.”

“I’m afraid it will be just the two of us.”

“Oh? Won’t Albus and Remus be able to attend?”

“No,” Flitwick explained sadly. "Albus is going to be with Hagrid this evening. Minister Fudge and representatives from the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures will be arriving later to execute the hippogriff.” He pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed his eyes.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Poor Hagrid,” Clancy sighed sympathetically.

“Yes, it’s tragic,” Flitwick agreed. “And Remus,” he hesitated, “well, tonight’s the full moon, you know.”

“I hadn’t realized,” she admitted quietly.

“Now, now, Remus is a brave fellow. You mustn’t let it upset you.”

“What a miserable existence it must be for him, though.”

“Yes,” the tiny wizard concurred, “but at least he’s come to terms with it after so many years. It’s a pity Severus can’t follow his good example and resolve his inner conflicts about being a former Death-” Flitwick reached quickly for his goblet of pumpkin juice, flustered by his near slip of the tongue. It occurred to him as he began to speak the word that most likely Snape had never confided in Clancy. The Charms professor turned as red as a Clabbert’s pustule.

“What were you saying, Filius?” Clancy asked distractedly, reaching for a raisin scone.

“Why, I…I don’t recall,” he stammered. “I must have lost my train of thought.”

“That doesn’t sound like a Ravenclaw trait to me,” she teased.

“You know, Clancy,” Flitwick mused, “if you had been born a witch, you would have been Sorted into Ravenclaw House.”

“Thank you, Filius, but I imagine myself more as a Hufflepuff. I’m cursed with an unfortunate tendency to let my heart rule my head. Above all else, I’m loyal.”

I hope, for your sake, that your loyalty will never put you in danger, Flitwick thought, before saying, “Shall we meet in my office tonight around 9:00?”

“Very well. See you then,” Clancy agreed, before rising to leave.


*~~~*~~~*

Clancy spent the remainder of the morning standing on the sidelines watching Lupin put his third-years through their paces. She admired his innovative approach to teaching. He seemed to be having just as much fun as his students were as he observed their ingenuity in dealing with the challenges with which he had presented them.

Clancy laughed as the students tried to evade and outwit a grindylow while wading through a deep pool. Next, Professor Lupin instructed his class to run through a series of potholes. They were expected to use charms and hexes to avoid an assault by Red Caps. One of the tiny, goblin-like creatures climbed out from its lair and charged toward Clancy with a bloodthirsty look in its eye. Effortlessly, Lupin leveled his wand at the creature and applied a Hover Charm, causing the Red Cap to float helplessly in the air.

After battling their way through a marsh while trying their best to ignore erroneous directions provided by a devious hinkypunk, the exam concluded with the students taking turns climbing into an old trunk to take on a boggart. When their final challenge had been met, Lupin dismissed his class with a wave of his hand.

Happy to be released, the students sprinted back toward the castle followed at a more leisurely pace by Lupin and Clancy, who discussed the exam.

“Do you mean to tell me that one-legged wisp of smoke was a hinkypunk?” Clancy asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Lupin confirmed. “They look harmless, but they’ve been known to lure unsuspecting travelers to their death.”

“And to think my upper choir is named in honor of those little beasts! And why,” she wondered, “did that other creature begin running toward me?”

“Oh, the Red Cap? They’re naturally malicious. It must have sensed you were a Muggle and would be unable to defend yourself, so it decided to attack. They pose no great threat to wizards, however.”

“There’s still so much I’ve yet to learn about the creatures in your world,” Clancy realized.

“You might find a Jarvey amusing. I’ll see if I can acquire one for next term.”

“A Jarvey?”

“Jarveys resemble large ferrets,” Lupin explained, “and they can actually talk. Their remarks consist entirely of rude comments and insults.”

Clancy regarded Lupin knowingly. “Yes, I can well imagine why you’d think they might appeal to me.”

Lupin attempted to maintain an innocent expression, but failed miserably.

Arriving in the entry hall, Clancy and Lupin parted company to return to their own classrooms. The final choir meeting for the Harmonious Hinkypunks, consisting of an in-class talent show, had taken place yesterday afternoon. Today, the Musical Mooncalves would be performing. Opening the door to the choir room, Clancy was surprised to find Snape waiting for her inside.

“Severus?” she called from the doorway.

He stood glaring out the window. “I’ve been waiting to speak with you. Where have you been all morning?” he asked suspiciously.

“Out on the grounds observing a Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Remus set up an obstacle course for his third-years,” Clancy told him. She crossed the room to join him and give him a quick kiss, but Snape’s only reaction was a snarl.

“Hmm,” she observed, licking her lips, “rather sour and unsatisfying. At times like this, I wish I were able to perform a Cheering Charm. Why weren’t you at breakfast?”

Snape collapsed into a chair. “I didn’t sleep well. I was wondering if you dreamed anything last night.”

Clancy thought for a moment. “No, nothing that I can recall.” She noticed how drawn and tired Snape looked. “Did you have an unsettling dream, Severus?”

“Thanks to you, I’m dreaming of anagrams, Dr. Pepper and…other disturbing images.”

“I see. What, for instance?”

Snape regarded her carefully. “Never mind. Tell me what you make of this: ‘A brew lends pep, Prof.’.”

“Pepproff? I’ve never heard of the word.”

“No,” Snape explained impatiently, “pep, as in energy, and Prof., as an abbreviation for Professor. Do you think it could be an anagram?”

“I don’t know. The longer the phrase, the more difficult it is to solve. Albus would be the best person to ask, or Filius.”

“Which reminds me, your nonsensical Anagram Club meets this evening, doesn’t it?”

“That’s right.”

“Can’t you miss it, just this once? I’d prefer not be alone tonight.”

“I’ve already promised Filius. He’d be disappointed if I canceled.” Snape gave her a hurt look, so she proposed a compromise. “We usually run out of steam by 11:00. Suppose you call for me in Filius’ office around that time and then we can be together. All right?”

“Very well.” With no more than a perfunctory squeeze of her hand, Snape rose and skulked toward the door. Before exiting, he paused and turned back to Clancy. “By the way, did you know that 'Ellis Lamb' is an anagram for slimeball?”

Clancy regarded him quizzically. “No, Severus, I didn’t.”

“Curious,” Snape observed, before he swept out of the room.

Not as curious as Filius’ comment about you being a former Death…something. I bet it’s some silly Slytherin boys’ club. I must explore that remark with him at length tonight, she promised herself.


*~~~*~~~*

“I’ve solved it!” Clancy crowed proudly, laying down her quill. “'Diogenes Lime' is an anagram for Eloise Midgen!”

“Brilliant, Clancy!” Flitwick confirmed enthusiastically. He withdrew his pocket watch and noted the time. “It’s just after 11:00. You say Severus will be meeting you here soon?” He stifled a yawn, endeavoring to remain dignified while perched atop a makeshift booster seat fashioned from four thick catalogues of Watty’s Wizarding Wear for Wee Wizards.

“Yes, I told him we’d be finishing up by now. I wonder what’s detaining him?”

“How about a game of wizard’s chess while we’re waiting?” Flitwick suggested.

“I’d rather not. The chess pieces seem to sense that I’m a weak player; there’s nothing worse than receiving a dirty look from a rook right before his little turrets are whacked off.”

“To a Muggle that must seem rather brutal.”

Clancy nodded. Wizarding ways were still so foreign to her. “Filius, may I ask you about a comment you made earlier?”

“Of course,” he responded amiably.

“You were telling me that you wished Severus could resolve his inner conflicts about being a former Death something or other, but you never completed your thought. What was it you were about to say?”

Flitwick proceeded carefully. “Has Severus discussed his past with you?”

“No, he’s very secretive. In fact, he made a point of making me promise never to question him about it. But, then, Severus is always rather dramatic. What’s all the mystery about, anyway? If you know anything, I wish you’d tell me.”

“Clancy, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know the entire story. Albus is the only one who does. I believe the headmaster would be your best source of information. Good gracious, it’s getting late!” He began clearing up the game table.

“Oh, come on. You know more than you’re saying. Won’t you, at least, tell me what that word was you were going to use?” she persisted.

The Charms professor studied her eyes forlornly and said, “Death…Eater.”

“What an odd name. I can’t begin to guess what it means, but it sounds most unpleasant.”

“Really, I’m not the one to ask.” He picked up his quill and said, “How about letting me take a crack at your new anagram? Give me a chance to solve it before you share it with Albus and Remus?”

“Shall I tell you the category?”

“Well, I am a Ravenclaw, but since the hour is late, perhaps it would be beneficial.”

“The category is 'notorious'. Are you ready?”

“Ready,” Flitwick said, dipping his quill in ink.

“Here it is: 'Basilisk cur'.”

Just then, the door swung open, and Clancy watched Flitwick’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Sirius Black!” he cried.

“Filius, that’s amazing! How did you solve it so quickly?”

Flitwick hopped off his chair and looked beyond her at a ragged, emaciated man floating on a stretcher. Dumbledore stood on one side of him, and Snape stood behind, aiming his wand at the man. Clancy turned to see what was causing the commotion.

“Filius, we will need to borrow your office,” Dumbledore informed Flitwick calmly. “Severus has just captured Black. Would you be so kind as to escort Clancy back to her quarters?”

Snape’s eyes never left the prisoner. They burned with hatred.

Frightened, Clancy rose and began edging her way slowly toward the door.

Black spotted her. “I remember you. You’re the woman in the sleigh.” He turned his head toward Dumbledore. “Ask her,” he moaned. “She knows the truth. She called me a ‘good boy’!” He laughed mirthlessly, and then closed his eyes.

“Severus? What does he mean?” Clancy inquired, bewildered by Black’s remark.

“He’s mad. Pay no attention to him,” Snape told her, still focusing on the prisoner.

“Come with me, Clancy.” Flitwick reached up for her elbow and escorted her out of his office.

“Severus, I’ll remain here to speak with Black,” Dumbledore said. “Why don’t you meet with Fudge and relate to him all that has happened? I’m sure he’ll be eager to receive your report.”

“Yes, Headmaster.” Snape strode triumphantly out the door.


*~~~*~~~*

By midnight, Clancy had given up on Snape. She'd assumed as soon as he'd fulfilled his duties, he’d make a beeline to her room to boast of his great heroism, but once again, she was left in the dark. Hogwarts seemed to be brimming with secrets, yet no one was willing to share any information with her. After two years as a teacher, she decided it was high time to ask a few pointed questions.

She was proud of Snape, however, and she intended to tell him so – if he ever showed up.

Growing weary, she decided to retire and speak with him later. She nodded off quickly, only to be awakened by a flash of green flames when Snape appeared in the Floo.

He was in a rage. Clancy sat up in bed and called his name, but he didn’t look at her. Instead, he picked up a chair near the fire and smashed it against the wall. Breathing hard, spittle dribbling from his mouth, he turned and spied a moth fluttering against the open window. He withdrew his wand and aimed it at the harmless creature. He shouted “Avada Kedavra”, and it fell lifeless to the floor.

Clancy was too stunned to speak. She was used to his temperamental outbursts, but she’d never seen him like this! She watched as he paced the room. Pausing in front of her bureau, he swiped his arm across the top of it, sending her belongings flying in all directions.

At last, he turned to acknowledge Clancy. She cringed as he leveled his wand again, but he merely used it to light candles to illuminate the room. As he approached, she noted that his scalp was bleeding and there were dark bruises across his forehead.

“Severus,” she ventured tentatively, “you’ve been hurt. What’s happened?”

Snape lost control. Chest heaving, eyes bulging with fury, he threw himself down on the bed and covered his face with his hands. “He didn’t believe me!” he screeched. HE DIDN’T BELIEVE ME!”

“Who didn’t believe you? Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“He took their word against mine!” Snape lowered his hands and began pounding his fists down hard against the mattress.

“You need to see Poppy about your wounds and - ”

Snape whirled on her. “I’ve just come from there. The hospital wing is rather crowded at the moment. The headmaster’s three precious Gryffindors invariably take precedence over me. Minister Fudge is the only one who commented upon my injuries. No one else even noticed!”

“Well, I‘ve noticed. I’ll be right back.” Clancy hurried into the bathroom and returned moments later with a cool washcloth. Folding it, she laid it gently upon Snape’s head.

Snape calmed a bit, but his face was flushed bright red. “Potter’s behind this. I know he is!”

“Rest for a while, Severus,” Clancy suggested. “Once you feel better, you can tell me about it.”

“I can’t calm down. I’m…I…I never…no one ever…” he mumbled incoherently. “BLAST IT ALL!” he screamed. He closed his eyes tightly for a minute and exhaled heavily struggling for control. When he spoke, he was still breathless. “Perhaps I should leave,” Snape said raggedly, casting a fierce look at Clancy.

“All right, Severus, if you think it best,” she agreed.

“Just like that?” he demanded. “You’re not going to try to convince me to stay?”

“Is that what you’d like me to do?”

Snape sprang from the bed and hurled the washcloth across the room. “Of all the infernal…I thought you, of all people, would make an effort to console me!” he grumbled.

“I’ve been trying to, but it’s rather hard to do with you storming in here bent on wrecking the place!”

Snape pursed his lips and pointed his wand at the floor. Clancy’s belongings resumed their original positions on the bureau. “I’ll have one of the house-elves restore the chair,” he muttered half-heartedly.

“What about the moth?” Clancy wondered.

“Some things are irreversible.”

“That was unnecessarily cruel.”

“It’s no different from you swatting a fly,” Snape returned defensively.

“If you expect me to sympathize with you, then you need to explain to me what happened that has you so upset.”

Snape sat on the edge of the bed and began removing his boots. “Here it is in a nutshell: Lupin has been aiding and abetting Sirius Black. I came across them conspiring together in the Shrieking Shack. I was knocked out by a Disarming Charm, and by the time I regained consciousness, I found myself outside on the grounds. Potter, Weasley, Granger, and Black were lying nearby. I conjured stretchers and returned them to the castle. Oh, yes, and one last detail: your favorite colleague neglected to take his potion, and at this very moment, he is running loose in the Forbidden Forest. And, might I add, this entire, miserable evening is your fault!”

Clancy shot out of bed and confronted Snape. “My fault! I haven’t seen you since lunch! By what conceivable stretch of the imagination is any of this my fault?”

He rose to remove his cloak and regarded her scathingly. “I happened to pass by Lupin’s office earlier this evening, and what do you think I found there?” Clancy remained mute and shrugged her shoulders. “On his desk were the Wolfsbane Potion and that confounded map that insulted me. And something else…”

“Well?”

“Would you like to proffer a guess at what I discovered on top of the map?” Snape narrowed his eyes.

Clancy met his gaze. “Suppose you just come to the point and tell me.”

Snape threw his cloak into a chair and kicked his boots across the room. “I found an empty can of DIET DR. PEPPER! YOU’VE BEEN SHARING MY GIFT WITH HIM!”

“What if I have?” Clancy responded hotly. “It’s not as if I’m going to run out any time soon.”

“I’ll not have you squandering my hard-earned salary on that…that…CREATURE!”

“How DARE you refer to Remus like that!” Clancy looked toward the window. “I only hope he’s all right out there.”

“Lupin is a crazed monster who’s been consorting with an escaped mass murderer and you DEFEND HIM?”

“YES! Until I’m certain of all the facts, I DO defend him!”

“I’m right!” Snape insisted. “Why can’t I convince anyone that I’m right?”

“Ask yourself, Severus. Are you sure that you’re right, or do you need to be right? I’m confident that the truth will come out eventually to everyone’s satisfaction. Until then, I plan to keep an open mind.”

Snape stormed toward the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Make it a cold one,” Clancy shot back meanly.

He emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later to find Clancy sound asleep. Her eyelids were moving rapidly and her mouth was set in a grimace. Snape felt an uneasiness growing inside of him. He reached for his wand, and pointed it toward her. “Legilimens!” he whispered.

Inside Clancy’s mind, Snape saw an undecipherable grouping of alphabet letters. Anagrams, he seethed. She’s dreaming of blasted anagrams, again. The letters arranged themselves into the phrase “a hated tree”. A hated tree? Has it something to do with the Whomping Willow? Just then, the letters shifted to spell “heated tear”. Snape laid his wand on the night table and slid into bed. He lay awake, mulling over the evening’s events. How could this night have possibly been any worse? he lamented angrily.

Clancy’s dream faded, and in a half-waking state, she rolled over and settled into his arms. He closed his eyes for a time, thinking about her anagram dream. Suddenly, he froze, and opened his eyes. Every muscle in his body tightened. He eased Clancy gently out of his arms, careful not to awaken her. Silently, he retrieved his clothes and dressed, then stepped into the Floo.
 
I’ve lost everything, Snape realized. A 'hated tree' and 'heated tear' are anagrams for Death Eater! She knows! How can I ever make her understand? Lupin must have told her. After all he’s done, it’s time for me to repay him in kind. Tonight, I’ve been cheated out of my triumph and lost the one thing I’ve always wanted – my Order of Merlin. Snape stole one last look at Clancy. And soon, I’ll lose her, too.

Releasing the Floo powder, Snape succumbed to the flames that carried him down to the depths of the dungeons.


*~~~*~~~*

The next morning at breakfast, Clancy hoped to see Remus, but he didn’t appear. A pall had descended over the High Table, and there was much speculation among the Gryffindors concerning the absence of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Clancy caught sight of Snape standing at the far end of the Slytherin Table. He announced something that caused the students to become alarmed. They began whispering and passing along the information to one another. Then, smiling smugly, Snape strode out the door.

After speaking briefly with Professor Sprout and Madam Hooch, Clancy determined that, at this point, they didn’t seem to know any more about what was going on than she did. Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, and Dumbledore were missing, too. It was all quite puzzling.

She spent the rest of the morning in the choir room, filing away songbooks and sheet music. Slightly before noon, Flitwick hurried in, looking quite dismayed.

“Clancy, have you heard the news?”

“No, Filius. What’s happened?”

“Remus resigned this morning. Albus just informed me.”

“Oh, no,” Clancy moaned. “Where is he? I must see him.”

“He’s in his classroom packing his trunk.”

“Filius, will you excuse me?”

“Certainly, Clancy.”

She tore past him out of the room to go meet with Lupin. She found him standing behind his desk studying a map.

“Come in, Clancy,” Lupin said ruefully.

“Remus,” she asked, rushing to his side, “why did you resign? You weren’t really helping Sirius Black all this time, were you?”

“No. I thought he was guilty until last night. Albus will tell you all about it. I’m rather anxious to be on my way and put all this unpleasantness behind me.”

“But, why are you leaving if you haven’t done anything wrong?”

Lupin smiled sadly, uncertain how to respond. “After transforming last night, I’ve realized that it’s not prudent for me to be near the students. I became distracted and forgot to drink the potion. I can’t risk the chance of that ever happening again.”

“Do you have somewhere to live?”

“I may have prospects in London.” Lupin noticed Clancy’s bottom lip quivering. He gave her a quick embrace and a kiss. “Don’t you dare shed a tear over the likes of me,” he warned her. “I’ll write to you once I’m settled, I promise. Now you’d better be running along.” He pointed to the map on his desk. “Do you see those small dots moving down the corridor?” he asked, indicating the spot.

“Yes. What do they mean?”

“I’m about to have another visitor.”

“Goodbye, Remus,” Clancy said, heading toward the door. “I hope we’ll meet again.”

“We will, Clancy – if the Fates allow.”

Clancy left his office and collided with Harry Potter a few paces down the corridor. “Sorry, Miss Norgard,” the young wizard apologized. “Is Professor Lupin still in his office?”

“Yes, Harry. Just knock on the door and go right in.” Wiping tears from her eyes, Clancy headed toward the dungeons to find Snape.

---

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I Wish I Were in Love Again
~ Lyrics by Lorenz Hart

The time references in this chapter were taken from the HP Lexicon Timeline compiled by Hollydaze.