This is written for the "Happy Birthday, Severus" Challenge at TPMM. Snape goes to his dreaded Birthday Party. This year, however, the party doesn't play out quite as he expects. The Birthday Party
Disclaimer: All said characters in this story are the property of the wonderful and talented J. K. Rowling. I wouldn't dream of cashing in on her creation. I'm only playing with her toys to satisfy a whim and will politely put them back when I'm done.
A knock on the door alerted Severus Snape that his escort had arrived. How he hated this yearly event that required his presence. Grumbling to himself, he eased his tall frame out of the leather chair and headed towards the door.
"I must find a way to keep birthdays from coming."
Opening the door to his living quarters, he found Minerva McGonagall on the other side, smiling her catty little smirk.
"Happy Birthday, Severus!"
"Bah!" Snape growled as he immediately turned and walked back towards his chair. "Perhaps you should turn yourself into a pocket watch, Minerva, as you are a half hour early," Snape sneered.
"I am well aware of that," she said. "But I'm allowing time to argue with you about attending your own birthday party."
Snape turned around and glared at McGonagall as she continued. "Every year, your birthday comes and, like everyone else on the staff, you are required to attend a party in your honor, given by the Headmaster. Every year, you snark and snarl about going and I have to play the game of convincing you to go. It's really getting to be an old game, Severus. Why don't you do me the courtesy, for once, and just go without complaint?"
"I prefer to celebrate in private. In addition, I hate those irritatingly, annoying party games that Albus always has us play," grumbled Snape. "Transfigure the Tail on the Dragon, Truth or Hex, and Hagrid's favorite...Spin the Blast-Ended Skrewt. I can't tell you how many times I've singed my frock coat on that one!"
"I understand, Severus, really I do," Minerva sympathized. "I'll have you know that I did have a little talk with the Headmaster and explained that you needed something more befitting an adult. I do believe that he took the talk to heart and this year should be better."
"You had better be right, Minerva or that's it! I won't be responsible for what transpires."
With that said, Severus walked over to the fireplace with Minerva and grabbed the container of Floo powder off the mantle. He gave his peer a handful and looked at her expectantly.
"Oh no," Minerva grinned, "You're not getting out of this that easily. You go first."
"If I must," Snape said icily. "The Three Broomsticks!"
The teachers of Hogwarts were gathered around a large table in the backroom at the Three Broomsticks. Enthusiastically, they greeted Snape as he stalked into the room. In a mixture of different ranges, they sang "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" which was received with a menacing glower from the Potions professor.
"In his usual bright mood, I'm afraid," McGonagall announced to the party guests.
"Severus! Glad you could make it, my boy," chortled Albus Dumbledore. "A very Happy Birthday to you and may you have many more."
"You do so love to torture me, Albus," replied Snape, irritated. "I would hate to die at such a young age and spoil all the fun." His sarcasm hung heavy in the air.
"Sit down! Sit down!" Albus merrily said, ignoring Snape's comments.
"Let's get this thing done and over with so I can go back and do something more interesting." Snape sat down on the guest of honor chair and crossed his arms, sulkily waiting for the traditional birthday games, gifts and cake.
Albus clapped his hands together, indicating that the party was to begin.
Much to Snape's surprise, as well as some of the other guests, several scantily clad women walked in with serving trays and began setting drinks around the table. As they each walked by the dark man, they smiled, leaned down to give him a kiss and a birthday greeting. He looked questionably at Dumbledore.
"Ah, I had heard that you had quite the fan following," Albus said with eyes twinkling. These are a few volunteers from your fan group, The Potion Master's Muse. Needless to say, I had thousands of interested women who wish to offer their services but, reluctantly, I could only choose four."
Snape felt a smile approach the corners of his lips. 'Perhaps this won't be so bad after all,' he thought.
The party continued and Severus was feeling a little better about the whole ordeal. He certainly was enjoying each piece of "eye candy" prancing around the table. One thing that puzzled him, however, was the pieces of paper that each girl had slipped to him. Each piece had written on it a name and a series of numbers.
Finally, it had come time to open gifts and have cake. A stack of presents magically appeared in front of Severus and Albus instructed him to go ahead and open them.
Calmly, he began to open the first one. 'I suppose I'd best see what they are before I throw them out,' he thought to himself. In past years he had gotten some really strange gifts and supposed that this year would be no different.
One by one, he opened each present, acknowledging the gift giver. He got to one that was wrapped in paper depicting magical beasts.
"That one's mine, Perfessor!"
Severus looked up and saw Hagrid barely containing himself. "The mental capacities of a ten year old," Snape mumbled to himself.
He sighed and proceeded to open Hagrid's gift. Inside was a large, stuffed toy dog, black in color, with a red bow around its neck.
"You thought I wouldn't remember, didn' ya. You says to me, 'Hagrid, what I'd love most dearly is to have a black dog, stuffed and hung over my mantle!' That's what you said, all right!" Hagrid was beaming like an idiot.
Snape felt a little heat growing in his cheeks as he noticed the harsh looks of Minerva and several other members of the table.
"Um...very nice Hagrid," Snape said through clenched teeth. "I'm glad you hang onto my every word." He quickly laid the stuffed mongrel off to the side.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and stated, "I believe cake is in order?" With another clap of his hands, the table area in front of the birthday wizard was cleared and a large cake with chocolate frosting appeared. The Slytherin emblem adorned the top and little frosting snakes danced around the edges. The candles shot out little sparks and whistles as they glimmered on the cake.
"Make a wish, Severus!" Albus prodded.
Severus stared at the Headmaster for a moment and then decided to humor him. He closed his eyes and thought, 'I wish for a long Caribbean vacation with a nymphomaniac.'
Wish made, Snape opened his eyes and blew out his candles. No sooner done, the cake started to jerk and the top blew open.
"Happy Birthday, Sev...Whoooa! Ooops!"
Tonks had jumped up out of the cake but, in doing so, tripped and fell, landing fully on Severus Snape, covering him with frosting. Everyone held their breath, expecting a barrage of insults to fly out of the Potion Master's mouth. Instead, he sat there still as could be, with eyebrow raised and a glint in his eye.
"Nymphadora Tonks...have you ever been to the Caribbean?"