I always find it nice if people include the challenge rules, so I'll do that, hope you don't mind.
It’s Snape’s birthday! How will he spend the day?
·Must be written in 60 minutes or less—including editing! (Like the 30 minute fics on LJ only longer).
·May include Snape paired up with an OFC or Female from Harry Potter who is not a student (no, you may NOT pair up Snape with Hermione from the future!), but not necessary.
·Can involve his peers
·Must show how Snape spends his birthday(celebration, or lack thereof)
·Must include at least one comment from Dumbledore that Snape will find annoying
Include at least 3 of the following:
o Snape saying “But of course I’m a Capricorn. Was there any doubt?”
o A bevy of TPMM members (or similar) queuing up to wish him well.
o Snape scoffing at receiving a birthday cake, but secretly eats a piece when no one is looking
o Snape saying “I prefer to celebrate in private.”
o Snape saying “If I must.”
o Draco Malfoy bursting into Snape’s office at an inopportune moment
o Someone makes a joke about Snape’s age…and suffers for it
o Minerva McGonagall being a Libra
o Snape receiving an embarrassing number of birthday owls
Enough is Enough
Severus Snape froze in his tracks when he entered the staff room before classes. How ever did they find out? He had successfully kept it a secret all these years even though Dumbledore had been pestering him about it all the time and Trelawney had every so often offered to calculate his personal horoscope. He frowned at the multicoloured garlands that were strung over their heads and the giant glittering banner which read “Happy Birthday, Severus!!!”
He flinched as a champagne cork went off right next to him. Professor Vector shrugged apologetically and poured some champagne into a glass which she proffered him. Absent-mindedly Snape took the glass and looked at his colleague’s smiling faces. They all had glasses in their hands.
Dumbledore raised his glass and said, “Here’s to a secret very well kept. Happy Birthday, Severus. May you be surrounded by friends all year through.”
“Actually, Headmaster,” he muttered irritably, “I prefer to celebrate in private.” Dumbledore’s last remark had sounded more like a curse than a blessing to him. Couldn’t people just leave him alone?
“Happy Birthday!” the others echoed, drowning out his muttered expression of resentment.
“Please, just don’t let them sing,” Snape thought desperately, as a tell-tale clearing of throats could now be heard. But it was too late.
After an agonising three repetitions of “Happy birthday to you” he half hoped his torture was over when Dumbledore merrily went on belting out “For he’s a jolly good fellow”.
Snape cringed inwardly and had it not been for the Headmaster, he would have turned on his heel and stormed out of the staff room right away.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity to him, his colleagues had finished and a giggle and chatter went through the room. Snape wanted to make for his pidgeon hole, check for circulars and students’ work and then head off to his classroom as quickly as possible but it was hopeless. His colleagues were now circling in to shake his hands, pat his shoulders and congratulate him.
“Janurary 9th, Serverus. Well, that makes you a Capricorn, doesn’t it?” Minerva McGonagall said as she shook his hand.
“But of course I’m a Capricorn. Was there any doubt?” he grunted very much on the edge of his tether.
“We had bets going and most people believed you were a Scorpio,” McGonagall said. “My guess was Virgo actually. My mother always used to say, I would marry a Capricorn,” she laughed. “But I don’t think Libra and Capricorn match, actually.”
Snape raised an eyebrow noticing her girlish giggle and the slight slur. “How many of those did you have, Professor?” he scoffed pointing at her half-empty glass.
“A few,” McGonagall giggled. “I don’t usually drink. I feel a bit tipsy.”
“Well, excuse me now, I have work to do,” he said tersely, making for his pidgeon hole.
But he was intercepted by Dumbledore who carried a big, cream-filled birthday cake decorated with the Slytherin crest, tiny green marzipan snakes and burning candles.
“Go on, Severus, blow them out and make a wish,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. Snape scoffed.
“Yes, Severus, go ahead,” Madam Hooch said, nudging him slightly. “Blowing them all out at once will only get harder every year. You’ll need quite some lung volume already by the look of things!” she giggled but stopped instantly as Snape swirled around to her and shot daggers from his narrowed black eyes. Madam Hooch swallowed. “I was just joking, Severus,” she said meekly.
“Next time you’d better keep your witty remarks to yourself or I’ll hex you into…” he barked furiously but was interrupted by the Headmaster.
“Now now, Severus. Don’t take everything so seriously. It’s your birthday. You should be enjoying yourself. Come on, blow out the candles, I insist.”
“If I must…” Snape snarled. Dumbledore certainly had a great talent for being a right nuisance but he was the Headmaster. With a small flick of his wand, the candles went out.
“Oh,” Snape said looking around at the smiling faces, “and the birthday wish I made was to be left alone. So if you please… I’ve got lessons waiting.”
He crossed the room, took some pieces of parchment out of his pidgeon hole and swept out of the staff room, robes billowing after him.
Peace at last! Snape sat down at his writing desk breathing a sigh of relief. If ever he were to find the person who found out about his birthday, he would hex them into oblivion. Not only had his colleagues arranged this “party” in the staff room, there had also been an enormous number of birthday owls at lunchtime. He had hoped the information about his birthday had not left the confines of the staff room, but it seemed that someone had been spreading the news. He had even received some birthday wishes on pink, perfumed parchment from an anonymous felicitator who called herself “snapeaddict”. This had definitely been too much. He had tipped the pile of cards with his wand, blazing them into cinders and had shot some gloomy, menacing looks at the students who looked at him curiously.
Finally, finally he was alone. No annoying felicitations, no dreadful songs or silly cakes….cakes. He looked at the birthday cake on the desk in front of him. He did not have dinner as he had preferred not to make an appearance in the Great Hall for more embarrassing moments. Well, there was nobody around, he might just as well….
Using his wand, he cut a piece of the cake. It looked delicious. He took a hearty bite.
Suddenly the door flew open and Draco Malfoy appeared looking utterly bewildered. “Sorry to disturb you, Professor but there’s a horde of … erm… Muggles in the corridor. They say they are here to see you.”
Snape had dropped the cake and sprung to his feet. He coughed, trying to swallow the piece of cake. “Muggles??!” he shouted.
Malfoy nodded. “They call themselves The Potion Master’s Muse and insist on seeing you.”
Snape struggled to keep his composure to no avail, his face reddened, the veins at the side of his neck began to pulsate dangerously. “OOOUUUUT!!!” he yelled, forgetting himself. “I wish to be left alone!!! And tell those Muggles if they aren’t gone when I have finished counting to ten, they will be very sorry.”
Draco swallowed. “Yes, Professor.” He turned around and left.
Snape sank back into his chair. It probably wasn’t a nice move but then what choice did they leave him? Obliviate them or go through this ordeal every damned year. After all, Dumbledore had said he should enjoy himself. And he would. With a smirk, he took his wand and got up.