HIGHLY IMPROBABLE


Chapter 17: I Get Along Without You Very Well


*~~~*~~~*

Returning to her room, Clancy undressed and tossed her wet clothes on the bathroom floor. She bathed and dressed for the feast, then plopped down on her bed to rest and brood. She decided she'd had enough exposure to the flawed character of Severus Snape to last many lifetimes. No more would she suffer his crass insults and patronizing attitude. She was free, at last, of his dubious charm. Forty-five glorious minutes had elapsed since their eager separation from one another - and she missed him already.

As soon as Snape reached his quarters, he tore off the remains of his Scottish ensemble and crammed it into the rubbish bin. Realizing that he still had Clancy's wand, his first impulse was to fling it into the fire, but he spared it from the flames and placed it on a table near the door. He bathed, and quickly changed into his familiar black robes. Never in his entire life had he so yearned for seclusion. The constant antagonizing company of that maddening female had frayed his last nerve.

Lying down to rest, his mind replayed the events of the past three days: Discovering Clancy sprawled out drunk at the Leaky Cauldron, the entire Floo incident taking them to a wax museum, and the cab driver insulting his appearance. Then, there was the ill-fated broom flight, resulting in the loss of his wand and his clothes.

Thinking back, Snape tried to recall the precise moment in which he had lost all control. He remembered the sensation of shivering beneath a tree, only to suffer the further indignity of having to don a kilt. He cursed the image of that conniving Muggle brat, who cheated him out of the talent competition, which by rights, he should have won. Pulling at his hair, he envisioned endeavoring to enjoy a quiet dinner, only to have some sot poking about for his Neeps and Tatties. Then, too, there was the broom breaking apart, the bull fiasco, and the endless squabbling, culminating in the acrobatic pratfall into the lake!

But Snape was a reasonable man, and he resolved to be magnanimous about the situation. He decided he would break precedent and seat himself next to Clancy at the feast, and grant her the privilege of begging for his forgiveness.


*~~~*~~~*

Snape arranged to arrive early for the start-of-term banquet, thereby allowing Clancy ample time to grovel. He strolled haughtily into the Great Hall and scanned the High Table. He was surprised to find Clancy already seated, enjoying an animated conversation with...Remus Lupin?

Visibly palpitating with rage, Snape experienced a feeling of loathing even more intense than the first time he had seen Harry Potter. Professor Dumbledore had mentioned to Snape prior to his departure to locate Clancy, that Lupin would be joining the staff as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Snape had protested the appointment at the time, but the headmaster had refused to listen to his objections. Snape still could not believe that Lupin, the mangy werewolf, had returned to Hogwarts. He stumbled into a chair at the opposite end of the High Table, his dark eyes boring viciously into the unwelcome intruder.

Professor Dumbledore made his annual welcoming address, and introduced Lupin to the students. If Clancy were aware of Snape's presence, she gave no indication of it. She seemed utterly entranced with her new colleague. Snape noted the way her eyes focused on Lupin, as if she were enthralled by his every word and gesture. She laughed gaily at whatever it was they were discussing. She stirred her food around on her plate instead of consuming it. Could this be the same woman who was weak from hunger only hours earlier?

Snape sulked and ate his dinner, never tasting the food. He was hatching a plan: As soon as dinner concluded, he would saunter over to the foot of the main staircase, and honor Clancy by escorting her to her room. He would be congenial, even tempered, and accept her apology graciously. Then, when he'd finally decided to forgive her, he would tactfully suggest that she avoid any further contact with Lupin the Interloper.

As the students began to leave, Snape watched with uncontrollable fury as Lupin escorted Clancy out of the Great Hall. Snape rushed through a side exit and tore down an alternate corridor to beat them to the staircase. Clancy, Snape predicted, would see him waiting for her, and desert Lupin and his tattered robes. With deep remorse, she would convey to him her sincere regret for having used him so poorly.

Striking a pose, Snape pretended to study intently a portrait near the landing that he had seen thousands of times. But, something had gone awry. Instead of turning toward the stairs, Lupin led Clancy across the entryway and out the main door of the castle. Snape's jaw dropped.

"You're going to catch lacewing flies, Severus, if you don't close your mouth properly," said a high, squeaky voice. Snape turned around, and looked down to meet the amused gaze of Professor Flitwick. "Albus would like a word with you in the staff room." Then, looking toward the door, the tiny Charms professor added, "Clancy and Remus make an attractive couple, don't you think so? That young woman would be quite a catch for any wizard with the brains to appreciate her. If I were in my salad days, and a good deal taller, I might be tempted to give Remus a run for his money."

"Thank you, Filius," Snape replied icily. "As always, I find your small observations riveting."


*~~~*~~~*

"Come in, Severus," Dumbledore told Snape as he entered the staff room. "You are looking unusually grim this evening, even for you. I imagine that you must have a fairly good idea of why I wish to speak with you."

"I believe I do," Snape responded crisply.

"Good, then I can come right to the point. Before you left on your assignment, I informed you that Remus Lupin would be joining the faculty this year. In spite of any past animosity between the two of you, I expect you to be civil to one another. I know I can rely on him, but I need your assurance that I may rely on you."

Dumbledore's expression conveyed to Snape the futility of raising any objections. "Yes, Headmaster, you can rely on me. But," Snape felt compelled to point out, "Lupin's a werewolf. How can you risk bringing him here?"

"Everyone is entitled to a second chance. A few of your colleagues felt much the same as you do now, when I appointed you Potions master," Dumbledore revealed. "In addition to your acceptance of Lupin, I will expect you to prepare Wolfsbane Potion to have on hand whenever he requires it."

"Yes, Headmaster," Snape said dully, looking down at the floor.

Dumbledore placed his hand on Snape's shoulder. "Thank you, Severus. I know I can always trust you to do the right thing. Good night."

Snape sat alone for a time in the staff room, ruminating over the situation. He smashed his fist down hard against a nearby table. Could this evening turn any worse? It could, and it did, for just then, Clancy and Lupin breezed through the door.

"Oh, Remus," Clancy purred, "you're ever so charming and witty! I can see that we're going to become great friends."

"You're a delight, Clancy. Your smile alone brightens up this dreary castle," Remus said, beaming at her fondly.

With a sour nod to Lupin, and a curdling look for Clancy, Snape brushed past them out the door.


*~~~*~~~*

Snape had no sooner changed into a long gray nightshirt, than he heard someone rap lightly on his chamber door. He crossed the room to open it, and found Clancy standing there.

"Well?" he said, addressing her coldly.

"I've come for my wand. You forgot to give it back to me."

Snape grabbed it off the table and slapped the wand roughly into her outstretched palm. "This could have easily been put off until tomorrow," he snapped peevishly.

"Yes, you're quite right. Sorry to have disturbed you. Good night, then." Clancy turned to leave.

"Just a moment! Come in. There's a matter I wish to discuss with you."

"Very well." Entering his chamber, she glanced about the room, noting the sparse furnishings. The only clutter was the stack of books piled on his bedside table. "You must enjoy reading in bed."

"What better way to occupy one's time in bed?" he returned.

"If you don't know, than I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell you."

"It helps me to relax," Snape explained. "What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"I count buttons, er, sheep."

"You find that intellectually stimulating, no doubt."

"When I retire for the evening, the last thing I want to have stimulated is my intellect." They exchanged a prolonged glance.

"I wouldn't care to touch that remark of yours."

"Nor any part of me, apparently. Now, what was the matter you wished to discuss?"

"I feel I must warn you about Lupin. It is my duty as your protector."

"You're no longer my protector. You've fulfilled your assignment, and you're under no further obligation."

"Listen to me, you little fool," Snape growled, grabbing Clancy by the shoulders. "For one such as you, so delicate by nature and frightened of the dark side, it would be wise to avoid Remus Lupin."

"Avoid Remus?" Clancy scoffed. "Anyone could tell by looking at him that he's a decent person. Just because he'll be teaching a distasteful subject doesn't mean that we can't be friends."

"You've known the man for an hour, and you are already addressing each other by your first names?"

"Not everyone is as slow on the uptake as you are, Professor."

Snape released her. "I saw you leave with him after the feast. Where did you go, and what did you do?"

"We took a stroll through the rose garden - not that I consider my whereabouts to be any of your business."

"I shudder to think what might happen to you if you were ever to be alone with him under a full moon."

"Are you implying that Remus is a wolf? Why, nothing could be further from the truth. He's polite, considerate, and a perfect gentleman. You could steal a page from his book and profit quite nicely," Clancy informed Snape.

"There are wolves, and then again, there are wolves!" Snape articulated threateningly.

"You're beginning to bore me, Severus," Clancy said, starting toward the door. "I'll choose my own friends, if you don't mind."

"Remus Lupin can never be anything to any woman BUT a friend," Snape continued.

Clancy whirled on Snape. "You are absolutely PATHETIC! First, you try to convince me he's a ladies' man, and now you're insinuating that he's GAY? Jealousy really doesn't become you."

"I am merely trying to keep you safe, you cretinous ninny! You've managed to misinterpret everything that I have said! Why would I be jealous? I have no interest in you!"

"Oh, yes, I forgot. I'm not your type, am I? You've made that clear enough, haven't you? This comical little scene is finished. GOOD NIGHT!" She headed out the door.

"Clancy, wait!" Snape called after her.

"What is it, then?" she demanded irritably.

"I will escort you back to your quarters. The Bloody Baron likes to patrol the dungeons at night. He might frighten you."

Clancy regarded Snape from head to toe in his preposterous nightshirt. "I'm more afraid that you'd scare the castle ghosts in that outfit of yours."

"What's wrong with it?" he inquired, looking down at himself.

"Nothing, if you're going for a mid-Victorian look."

"What difference does it make what I wear to bed?"

"None really, since you have only your books to impress."

"Let's go then," Snape muttered.

They ascended to her room, and when they at last reached her door, Clancy said, "Good night, again."

"Won't you invite me in for a moment?" Snape suggested idly. "I may as well see where you count your sheep."

"Isn't this all rather sudden? It's only taken you a year to think of it." She made an elaborate sweeping motion with her arm, indicating that he was welcome to enter.

As Snape passed through the door, he caught the attention of the two old girls in the picture behind Clancy's bed. "Look Prudence," remarked the crone on the left to her companion, "she's finally brought a man into her boudoir!"

The other spinster witch took a long, critical look at Snape. "That's not a man, Constance, that's the GIT!" They both began to cackle. Snape snarled at them, and they raised a mocking toast to him with their teacups.

"Just ignore them as I do," Clancy advised.

Snape surveyed her bedchamber, stalling to find the right words to say. "Clancy, it wasn't my intention to quarrel with you tonight."

"I know. We're both worn out from our travels. Perhaps you'd better go now, so we can get some rest."

"Yes. I have a full schedule of classes tomorrow, and I will need to Floo to Ollivander's during lunch hour to purchase a new wand."

"Due to my clumsiness."

"You came out much worse than I, losing your trunk and your purse."

"I didn't exactly lose my purse. You deliberately threw it away, as I recall."

"I'm bad tempered at times," Snape confessed.

Clancy thought of several clever comebacks for that remark, but she discreetly held her tongue. Snape began heading toward the door, and she followed him. He paused, and then turned to face her. "It's going to be a welcome change to have a soft bed to sleep in after spending two nights on the hard ground."

"Oh, I don't know. Some aspects of it were not entirely unpleasant."

"I've almost grown accustomed to waking up next to you in the morning - with or without the bull," Snape admitted.

Clancy smiled weakly.

Snape glanced over at her bed. "It's going to seem rather funny, you up here in your bed, and me all the way down in the dungeons." Snape flashed Clancy a nervous smirk.

"I don't find any humor in it at all, I'm sorry to say." Snape stood there, dumbly, expecting Clancy to offer him some encouragement, but she didn't. "I suggest you leave now, and you and your books can have a good laugh about it all night long." She ushered him out the door, and Snape walked away sadly.

"Such ambivalence!" Clancy said aloud after his departure. "I don't think he'll ever decide what it is he wants. If he insists upon acting like that, I can't see the two of us ever getting together - not even in my wildest dreams." She undressed and slipped into bed, not realizing the irony of her final waking thoughts; for that night, the dreams began.