The journey to Hogwarts was uneventful, except for Severus thinking about what had happened between him and Rosie. The train was fairly empty and nobody except the witch with the food trolley disturbed him on his way.

The silence gave Severus the perfect opportunity to reflect. Rosie had kissed him and told him that she loved him. Severus was shocked, he had wanted it to happen, he had imagined her wrapping her arms round his neck and whispering her love against his lips, but those had been fantasies; he could never have imagined that she might actually feel anything for him.

Severus did not believe that Rosie had lied to him about her love. However he did not fully believe that she would love him when he next saw her.

He felt like an idiot. How hard would it have been just to tell how you feel? Severus didn’t fully understand why he had clamed up. Well, he had an inkling.

People fell in and out of love all the time. Whatever Rosie felt could change, however Severus knew that what he felt would never change, he had never been in love before and so couldn’t see it happening again. If Severus opened his heart to her and they became, he shivered – a couple, then he would be happy. But what if Rosie decided later on that she did not really love him at all – Severus would be left alone. At least if they were simply friends then that could never happen.

But were they friends anymore? Rosie was crying by the end of her confession – Severus had hurt her worse than she had hurt him. Maybe she would feel that it wasn’t worth it – especially if she moved on to another man.

So Severus began to convince himself that Rosie no longer loved him and that there was no longer any friendship between them. It is amazing what can happen if you over analyse everything, if you think too much. Severus was certainly guilty of thinking too much, if he had just for once thought and acted with his heart the only pain that Rosie and Severus would be feeling now would be the pain of leaving a loved one behind.

Instead both parties were miserable.

The train pulled up outside Hogsmede station and Severus collected his belongings and left the train. He now felt even more miserable. Not only was there no Rosie, but there was a whole year ahead of him which consisted of him teaching moronic children how to brew potions.

He made his way up to the castle in a bumpy Thestral-drawn carriage – he had been able to see them ever since he had returned to Hogwarts as a teacher, how he wished he couldn’t.

He walked into the Entrance Hall and was just about to retreat down the staircase that led to the Dungeons when he heard a female voice calling him.

“Severus! Severus! How are you?”

He turned around and saw Minerva McGonagall striding towards him. Despite his sadness and his appalling mood he was comforted somewhat to see McGonagall. She was as close as Severus had to a friend, she was always caring and friendly (in her own way) to him and he did appreciate it. She was firm on him, and did annoy him with her strictness for things being done properly. But, as irascible as she was she was always a familiar sight.

“Hello, Minerva. I am well thank you. How was the holidays?”

“Oh, very pleasurable. I went to Devon for a week,” she frowned at him critically. “Are you sure you’re well, you look pale.”

“I’m fine thank you Minerva,” he said rather brusquely.

“Don’t start Severus. I’m only concerned for you.”

“You’re bloody interfering, that’s all you’re doing!”

Minerva sighed and pursed her lips. A change of subject was obviously in order. “So, how’s Rosie? We’re all dying to hear!”

“Pardon?” said Severus, not daring to believe the audacity of the woman.

“How’s you and Rosie?”

“She’s fine, and as I have already informed you, so am I.”

“No, no. How’s the situation between the pair of you?” Severus knew exactly what she wanted to know but he wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“We’re housemates.”

“But you’d like it to be more wouldn’t you?”

“We can’t always have what we want,” said Severus and he left Minerva and went down to the solitude of his Dungeon office.

Back at the top of the stairs Minerva muttered, “Oh dear.”

*

The week progressed normally. Severus taught classes just as he usually did. There was nothing special except for his heightened blood pressure and decreased tolerance for anything below perfect. In fact by the end of the week he had reduced two girls and a Slytherin boy to tears.

At break time on the third week of term Severus banged into the staffroom and sat down in his chair in the corner of the room.

Minerva was already in her seat and was surveying him through her square-rimmed spectacles holding a mug of tea in one hand.

“Classes well behaved today then Severus?” she asked.

“They’re quickly learning, if only they showed the same aptitude to Potions,” he remarked examining his fingernails.

“Oh, stop being so stupid! What has happened to you? You’ve always been somewhat strict – over strict in others people’s opinion but-”

“Over strict in your opinion,” Severus said.

“All right then, my opinion, but you’ve always been consistently and predictably biased,” Severus glared at her. “You’ve never caused a Slytherin to cry before.”

“So you criticise when I’m unfair and now you’re dissatisfied when I am fair?”

“It’s not about that though is it?”

“Oh, pray, do enlighten me!” sneered Severus.

“It’s you and Rosie. What happened? And don’t back out of this one, you’re not going until you tell me everything.”

Severus sighed admitting defeat. If he was honest with himself he did want to get it off his chest. He could trust Minerva.

“She confessed her love,” he said heavily, leaning back in his chair.

“And the problem created is?”

“I didn’t tell her how I felt back. I was getting on the train and she came on board and – kissed me, I don’t know, I froze – she left and I didn’t go back to her. I tried to shout it to her out the window but she couldn’t tell what I was saying.”

“Well, why can’t you just simply write and tell her that you’re sorry and that you do love her?”

“Because,” he said, “because she probably doesn’t love me anymore,” he flushed feeling immensely stupid.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Why would she fall out of love so quickly?”

“How on Earth should I know? When have I had a lasting relationship – never! I’ve never had a relationship for Chist’s sake!”

“And?”

“What if she falls out of love with me? It happens doesn’t it? I can’t-” he stopped talking. He couldn’t admit what he felt.

“You can tell me Severus, you can trust me.”

“I can’t let myself be hurt again,” he muttered to his feet. “It’s happened all my life; James Potter, my father, my mother – I can’t let it be Rosie, I can’t.”

Minerva looked saddened and sniffed. “Severus, for once in your life just take a risk. What’s the worst that can happen? She won’t reject you. If you don’t tell her you’ll have a life of regret. And, yes, maybe you will break up – but isn’t it better to have loved and lost than not loved at all?”

“Don’t quote that pile of tripe on me.”

“But it’s true – at least you’ll have her for the time being and isn’t that what matters? If you don’t you’ll always wonder. Anyway,” a bell rang overhead. “I must get to my class, as you must yours.”

Severus nodded and stood up. Minerva walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her. Severus hugged back, feeling as he did that he owed Rosie for this – he’d never have let people touch him before, let alone hug him.

“Severus, do what’s best,” she said and she left him.

*

Months passed. September became October, October became November, November became December…and still Severus had not written to Rosie.

He had waited to see if she would make the first move, but she hadn’t and now that Severus had waited so long he couldn’t bring himself to write her the letter. It seemed as if he had missed the boat.

Meanwhile Rosie was in a depressed state. She had sent letters to Alina, desperately trying to find some comfort. She was upset that Severus had not written to her, but not surprised; why would he when he was clearly embarrassed with the whole situation?

Rosie had considered writing to him but Alina had forbidden her – If he’s going to be like that then a not won’t change anything – especially seeing as you’ve already told him how you feel! Don’t give up!

Rosie had almost ignored her advice and had written a short note to Severus asking how he was and how the year was going. But she hadn’t sent it for she feared that he would not write back – that would be an awful rejection.

Then one evening as Severus sat in his cold office he could bear it no longer. Minerva had berated him once again about being a coward and how he was letting his life slip through his fingers because of pride and Severus found himself agreeing with her. He was being cowardly, it was stupid, she wouldn’t make the ‘first move’ because she already had!

Severus reached into once of his desk drawers and took out some parchment and a quill pen. He dipped the quill into some black ink and wrote the words that she didn’t hear on the 31st August:

I miss you.

He rolled up the parchment and ran up to the Owlery. He didn’t bother to stop even though he had a stitch, because he knew that he might lose his nerve. And what was this pain anyway, for a life of gain?

He rushed into the room and called for his owl. It swooped down onto his shoulder and Severus tied the scroll to its leg. Then he motioned for the owl to fly and it obeyed, flying out of the window and into the night sky.

Now all he had to do was wait for her reply.

A/N: I like Minerva and she seems to be the one, in my story, that is going to be Severus' agony aunt - trust me, he'll need her. Once again, please review, it really gives the writer encouragement ... especially after eight chapters...