The Potions Master: ~~~
by kittylefish
Oh, how I love
The Potions Master!
Thinking about him
Makes my heart beat faster.
The Potions Master!

He's dark and he's tall
But not handsome at all.
The Potions Master!

His teeth may be yellow,
His hair may be lank,
But when I think about him
I need a good wank.
The Potions Master!

With a sneer and a smirk
He can drive me berserk!
The Potions Master!

Snermione, Snilly, or Snupin,
Not Snotter.
If I can have him
I don't need Harry Potter!
The Potions Master!

He may be a vampire
Or just a big bat.
Whatever he is
I want me some of that!
The Potions Master!

They say he really knows his way
Around a cauldron.
And I hear he's phenomenal with his
… Wand.

---

Author's Notes: Thanks to ladyinthecloak for giving this a quick once-over.

FYI, if anyone remembers a song from the '60s called "They're Coming to Take Me Away (to the Funny Farm)," you might enjoy knowing that in my mind this is sung in a similar deranged fashion.

This story archived at: Occlumency
http://occlumency.sycophanthex.com/viewstory.php?sid=6684