Reviews for Of Squibs and Wizards
Verity Brown |
2005.05.28 - 08:53PM |
3: Chapter Three |
Signed |
So, are we going to be skipping back and forth in time? The young Mia is ever so much more informative than the adult one. This is such a realistic diary style. And yet you put so much that's truly interesting in it. |
rambkowalczyk |
2004.11.08 - 04:18PM |
3: Chapter Three |
Anonymous |
Nitpicking point. Who is the Celeste Bitch -the daughter Mrs McIlhenny? The only other reference to that name is the name of her friend at school. Generally speaking good chapter - good at showing her ups and downs and the frustrations of being a squib. If you are going to do the back and forth in time thing with each chapter, then I can accept why her attitude in chap 2 is different than chap 1. |
Melpomene Erato |
2004.06.08 - 04:33PM |
3: Chapter Three |
Anonymous |
Oh, much, much better than chapter 2 IMHO. The Tabasco thing was great. I guess I would have enjoyed chapter 2 more if she hadn't been so very different from her childhood self. For example, in this chapter the word "bitch" is used really well, but the expletives in chapter 2 just gave the impression of a crass person, not the charming one she shows in her diary.
Author's Response: Great point regarding the crassness! She is a belle, but as you will see in later chapters a belle who's done some cool things.
Will take your advice and tone down the expletives-thank you so much!
I was wondering if you'd give me an opinion of a plan I have for this charater--I want to do a bit of cross over (Vampire Chronicles, namely Lestat and his band) could you maybe drop me an email if you'd be interested in offering your opinion. It's not written , just charater notes (I play God and actually create my charaters from top to bottom when I'm planning a fic)--Need to keep Mary Sue out!
Live long and prosper! Titania (HeroBenedick@sbcglobal.net |
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