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Reviews for Of Squibs and Wizards

Verity Brown 2005.05.28 - 09:16PM 5: Chapter Five Signed
Hehehehe! Love the shirt! I'm a little confused at some of the details, though. At first I thought Voldie had still not been defeated yet--that's what you imply in chapter 2. And now it seems that he's already dead. Then there was the comment in chapter 4 that Snape's family was pureblood and the American Marvolos were not. And here we learn that the Marvolos were purebloods. So, there's my first concrit for you: continuity! Make sure all the details agree. Otherwise the reader gets awfully confused. I do like this story, though.

Verity Brown 2005.05.28 - 09:00PM 4: Chapter Four Signed
Oooooooooo! Very nice chapter. The young Severus's reactions are so very believable. In fact, all of it is believable. Wow.

Verity Brown 2005.05.28 - 08:53PM 3: Chapter Three Signed
So, are we going to be skipping back and forth in time? The young Mia is ever so much more informative than the adult one. This is such a realistic diary style. And yet you put so much that's truly interesting in it.

Verity Brown 2005.05.28 - 08:45PM 2: Chapter Two Signed
I love the line about Albus and Minerva! Mia seems even ditsier than when she was child, though--lots of jumping around. I really wonder where this is going.

Verity Brown 2005.05.28 - 08:38PM 1: Chapter One Signed
What a charming viewpoint character! The only thing that doesn't make sense is why a boy from New Orleans would be going to Hogwarts. And yes, I do think you've picked up some of Snape's essential characteristics.

Jessica 2005.03.09 - 05:08PM 5: Chapter Five Anonymous
Oh my god i CAN'T believe shes wearing that please keep updateing its really good!

rambkowalczyk 2004.11.08 - 04:28PM 4: Chapter Four Anonymous
generally good chapter.

rambkowalczyk 2004.11.08 - 04:18PM 3: Chapter Three Anonymous
Nitpicking point. Who is the Celeste Bitch -the daughter Mrs McIlhenny? The only other reference to that name is the name of her friend at school. Generally speaking good chapter - good at showing her ups and downs and the frustrations of being a squib. If you are going to do the back and forth in time thing with each chapter, then I can accept why her attitude in chap 2 is different than chap 1.

rambkowalczyk 2004.11.08 - 04:00PM 2: Chapter Two Anonymous
When she was 9 years old she was very sympathetic to Severus. Now that she's the new muggle teacher she remembers him as a brooding anti-social prick. Why the change? You need more detail here. Obviously something happened between when she was 9 and now. It also might be relevant if you either say what year it is now or what year Harry and Hermione are in now.

rambkowalczyk 2004.11.08 - 03:49PM 1: Chapter One Anonymous
Seems to be a nice start. You may want to explicitly state that the family are Americans and live in New Orleans. I'm assuming the narrater is Mia, it didn't really say and that she is 9 years old to Severus's (and Antony's) 11.

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