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Reviews for A Nagini and Severus Tale

hexgirl 2010.11.02 - 03:19PM 3: Greed Beyond Avarice - part two Signed
Wow! I did not see that coming. So Nagini is bound to Abraxas and Lucius by law as well as by familial connection? This is really getting intriguing. I'm really enjoying your narrative style of taking us back to events alluded to in the previous chapter. There is a real sense of her back story coming together without there being lots of dull, linear exposition.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and the review! I still need to present a bit more exposition, interwoven with the interactions, and then things can move a bit faster; the whole aspect of introducing an OC and balancing the narrative, exposition info with the immediate action of the chapter has been an interesting experience - glad that it's coming across comfortably! I felt with this OC, writing chronologically, linearly from a far distant time would be too much Again, thanks for the wonderful feedback!

hexgirl 2010.11.02 - 03:05PM 2: Greed Beyond Avarice - part one Signed
You really evoked a feeling of sinister evil in your characterisation of Abraxas. No wonder Lucius turned out the way he did. I really got a sense of Severus feeling some kind of kinship and solidarity in recognising the horror that Nagini is obviously going through at the hands of her supposed guardians. I think he feels genuine compassion for her plight, obvious by the way he wants to find a way to help her. I think this line sums it up wonderfully well: "Severus knew Nagini had found herself in a cesspool of inescapable iniquity." I was going to ask why they hadn't magically repaired her injuries, but I half wondered if it was an arrogant display of their supremacy over her. I do hope Severus finds a way to help her.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and the detailed review! Thank you for affirming that the characterisations are coming across and Severus' feeling as being genuine - I always felt he must have witnessed a plethora of experiences, particularly around the purebloods/Malfoys, and wanted to explore that. Yes, Abraxas enjoys and is quite proud and very comfortable with displaying he deeds. Again, thank you for such a lovely, specific review!

hexgirl 2010.11.02 - 02:42PM 1: A Turn of Events Signed
Well I'm hooked! I really enjoyed your first chapter, particularly the way you introduced the characters; from Lucius and his arrogant pure-blood supremacy hatred of everything he isn't, to Severus and his quiet concern for Nagini. I loved how she had noticed his gentleness with Lily and compared it to his behaviour when in the company of Slytherins. You portrayed Lucius really well - he comes across as the conceited, repulsive coward I think he is. This is going to be very intriguing.

Author's Response: Oh hexgirl! Thank you so much for reading and the review - (Wormtail - go grovel elsewhere! - he scurries off... ) I really appreciate your detailed feedback, it helps me to know that the characterisation is coming across and the premise, as well. Poor Sev, he learned so early on how to live a double life, primarily with his feelings... glad Lucius is coming across, as well as Severus' contrast. Again, thank you for the specific feedback!

Agnus Castus 2010.10.30 - 11:10AM 4: At Madam Malkin's: Before the Dreadful Dinner Party Signed
I like how Severus has convinced himself that he can serve Lord Voldemort and be romantically involved with Lily at the same time. He’s completely delusional, but these are the lies we tell ourselves in order to live with our choices. Might I say that Regulus is a thoughtful gift-giver, and I hope that his friendship with Severus is a positive thing for the both of them. Your plot is building nicely, and there’s a pervasive sense of dread lingering over Nagini and her future, both immediate and in the long term. Looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you again! Yes, so many hopes and delusions... thank you for the specific feedback, glad key points as well as the mood is coming across.

Agnus Castus 2010.10.30 - 11:10AM 3: Greed Beyond Avarice - part two Signed
Hm, I've always thought those open-sided stone staircases were a death-trap... ;-) Well done for pacing the exposition; it's tricky to introduce an original character to the mix of established characters, and you are doing well. Nagini sounds like a multi-faceted and intriguing character.

Author's Response: Thanks again for the reviews! And thank you, as always, for specific, constructive feedback - greatly appreciated!

Agnus Castus 2010.10.30 - 11:09AM 2: Greed Beyond Avarice - part one Signed
I enjoyed the comparison between Severus' and Lucius' childhoods, at the hands of abusive fathers. Of course, Severus' mother was present during his earlier years, and so he will have witnessed the effects of abuse upon women... A key difference between himself and Malfoy. Very interesing premis!

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving this review here - glad the premise is coming across regarding our young Slytherins. Thanks, again!

Agnus Castus 2010.10.30 - 11:08AM 1: A Turn of Events Signed
I felt flung into your story, which was very apt given the situation Nagini has found herself in. Being handed over to NEWT level Slytherins during the rise of Lord Voldemort must me a terrifying experience, even for one of the eponymous Malfoy family. I enjoy reading about strong-willed females, so I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Dearest Agnus Castus, thank you again for reading and leaving a review! Wanted to explore the rise of Lord Voldemort a bit. Thanks again!

jeneacapp 2010.03.16 - 09:53PM 2: Greed Beyond Avarice - part one Signed
Poor Nagini! What kind of troubles can the Masters Malfoy have in school for her. I do hope Severus comes to her aid. Looking forward to your next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! nagandsev

Author's Response: The Masters Malfoy shall be very resolute in their school for her...as well as Severus. Thank you!

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