Reviews for Reflection
| EzriSakota |
2013.04.29 - 10:23PM |
22: Chapter 22 |
Signed |
| i loved every bit of it, when i came to the end it left me wanting more. I would love to read some aadvetures of lena snape and victoria. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.20 - 10:52PM |
8: Chapter 8 |
Signed |
| This is perfect, the way this chapter runs into the previous one, so it looks like Severus is throwing up in fear of loving Lena, like the way Stan on South Park vomits on Wendy, the girl he likes, when she gets too friendly. I can see Severus as the defender of downtrodden women, social outcasts like himself. And that last paragraph is just beautiful: sensuous, romantic, and spiritual all at once. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.20 - 10:37PM |
7: Chapter 7 |
Signed |
| I love the way you weave fan commentary into your dialogue, e.g., the arguing about the names of Harry and Ginny's kids, and how Lily and Severus reacted to their falling-out. You can still see traces of teenage Severus in his defensive insistence that he chose freely to join Voldemort. The humor is great, such as Arthur becoming a conspiracy theorist. I can totally see that happening. The developing romance between Lena and Severus is both subtle and sweet. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.20 - 08:38PM |
6: Chapter 6 |
Signed |
| Another good chapter, although Lena sounds a little like a therapist when Severus reminds her of his sordid past. Your dialogue is otherwise great. I love the way you portray two insecure, vulnerable people feeling each other out. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.19 - 10:17PM |
5: Chapter 5 |
Signed |
| I love that line about the cat with the cream-flavored arsehole. :D This is great, the way you have Lena subtly growing up, as she realizes most people feel lost, confused, and alone a lot of the time. I really like the subtlety of the attraction between her and Severus. I also appreciate the fact you've given him a sexual/romantic history, which is a great change from canon. He's grown up, too, in realizing he never really loved Lily, but was just obsessed with her. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.19 - 09:33PM |
4: Chapter 4 |
Signed |
| I love this chapter! My favorite parts were the flashback scenes, with Harry trying to be a good dad, but obviously not knowing how to do it. It's a very realistic portrait of how someone raised like he was would behave. I also loved the idea of the "St." in "St. Lily" standing for "slut" instead of "saint." You're the only person I've seen who's suggested she kept Severus on a string for decades because she was so hot in the sack. That puts a whole other slant on their relationship. Kudos on your creativity. |
| NJ Dryad |
2012.05.19 - 07:51PM |
3: Chapter 3 |
Signed |
| I loved the conversation between Lily and James about the awful names and reputations they and Al were stuck with. We always think of the children of celebrities as being so privileged, but you do a great job of showing the downside of second hand fame. I also liked the British slang, e.g., "right charlie" and "ticky poo." Lily seems to have thought out her plans carefully. She's being very sensible for such a young woman. |
| Marion |
2011.10.20 - 07:33AM |
2: Chapter 2 |
Signed |
Well, this is going down fast.
All men are trying to get into her knickers, right? Not because she's a pretty girl, but because she's the spitting image of Lily Evans, the Great Love of Severus Snape and all men just have to have a bit of Snape's Ultimate Love?!!
And if that wasn't unrealistic enough,her own father forbids her to defend herself when some guy tries to daterape her? Really?!! All the fathers *I* know would hack the bollocks of any boy who'd even *look* weird at his daughter, let alone one who had his hands in her pants.
And THEN, of course, her boss tries it on (not very hard either - any wizard that had a bit of sexual intimidation or rape in his mind would simply Imperio and then Obliviate her) so she can go off on her high horse to her father, who isn't the slightest bit interested in his daughter nearly getting molested AGAIN, just so she can spout off her mouth about how horrid her daddy is and go and search for that Romantic Hero That Wasn't Interested In Sex, Severus Snape.
Forget it, I'm not interested in the rest of Lily Sue's little story.
Author's Response: I don't see it as unrealistic. When people are placed on a pedestal, like Snape after people found out he was a spy for Dumbledore all the while, that it the stuff of legend! And you have to understand that Lily is not Lily Evans, but the legend grows. Plus, Harry is a grown-up and in politics. People change and can be upset when their children rock the boat. It's classic. Fathers don;t like their daughters going around causing trouble (as he sees it). Harry's changed and can only see that there must have been a better way for Lily to deal with a boy's advances (as he sees it). Lots of men see women as people who overreact and get overly emotional. And we aren't dealing with a master criminal, just a hormonal teenager. Scorpio isn't the sharpest crayon in the box. Lily is no Mary Sue. She wants to break from the role she's been placed into. She wants freedom. That's courage. |
| Marion |
2011.10.20 - 06:04AM |
1: Chapter 1 |
Signed |
Can't say I like Lily very much at this early stage. She has a job she got because of her father's influence, not because she particularly wanted it (never mind that there are other kids who would give their teeth for such a job). Yet she thinks of her other female collegue, who happens to be pretty and well-endowed (the bitch!) as someone who 'only got the job because she slept with the boss'.
Gosh, Lily! Could it perhaps be that the pretty secretary actually *likes* her job (unlike you)? That she is therefore *good* at her job (unlike you)?
She's truly her father's daughter. Harry explained his bad Potions grade away by claiming that the teacher just didn't like him (nothing to do with not doing homework, not being interested, goofing around and being more interested in throwing fireworks in other kids potions, oh no). Lily explains her own mediocre performance away by claiming that her boss just doesn't like her so much as her collegue because she doesn't put out.
Poor Severus. He could do better that this chit.
Author's Response: Well, considering how Lily's boss is, basically a lecher, and Lily feels trapped in being the Boy Who Lived's daughter, she's trying to cope rather well. And everyone has that busybody in the office who thinks they have the right to boss everyone else around. No one likes their equals at work trying to push them around. Lily isn't a mediocre worker. She is a responsible person who doesn't want to screw her boss. She is just stuck in a rut that she wants to get out of but can;t see how to do it. It's hard living in your parent's shadow.
Livvy |
| NJ Dryad |
2010.12.29 - 01:27AM |
2: Chapter 2 |
Signed |
I'm glad Lily has the backbone to give Severus a run for his money. I also liked the reference to Scorpius' foolish wand waving. But my favorite part was the description of Harry's dishonesty: "...all he had ever done was placate her with lies. He was neither sorry nor sad that he had deceived her." Dishonest *and* shameless. And all this time we thought Harry didn't learn anything from Dumbledore.
Author's Response: LOL!!!! That was good! Oh, yes. Harry has been very bad to lie to his girl.
Thanks!
Livvy |
[Previous] 1 2 3 4 5 [Next]
|