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Reviews for Betrayals

Saint Snape 2013.01.16 - 12:24AM 2: Betrayals Signed
This is really heartbreaking knowing he sets it up for Lily to not step aside and die. Beautiful writing.

Author's Response: Thank you.

kittylefish 2008.04.23 - 11:53PM 2: Betrayals Signed
this is an absolutely wonderful, heart-rending, harrowing version of these events. that first chapter, where you take severus completely through his horrible obsessive version of how he could get to have her, but then in the end it wouldn't really work anyway, and led him to dumbledore, was just brilliant, and the way you kept repeating that refrain of how he could make it work. chilling, really. and then the second chapter was just as powerful, and just as heart and gut-wrenching. really well done.

Author's Response: Thanks. I've been through an obsession or two myself, and I know the rhythm-- he could have made it work, really, if he chose to. If he could have chosen that. I don't remember who said this: "Lust is wanting the other person; love is wanting the other person's good." Thanks for the review.

Violet Azure 2008.02.29 - 08:06PM 2: Betrayals Signed
Amazing, absolutely amazing. You really build up the tension with Dumbledore and Snape. I loved their exchange and I could really see Potter through Snape's eyes and I thought of that line from PoA when Snape says to Harry about being arrogant like his father for believing in his friends. I also really liked seeing Voldemort reak through Snape's mind with Legilimency. I really like how torn up you make Snape. I love your writing so much. You have an excellent command of the language and I love how you structure the sentences and your use of repetition. My favorite author is Margaret Atwood and she does that a lot in her writing as well and it just elevates the writing to a whole new level and adds a touch of poetry to the language. Brilliant!

Author's Response: What I love about your review is that you notice things I was TRYING to do. Yes, if I ever had Harry Potter read this I would want him to notice where Severus's resentment at James' arrogance in POA was really rooted: that it led, ultimately, to Lily's death (in Severus's view, which is not unbiased). Thank you for your comments on my verbal structures: I worked very hard on my use of language, and had a great beta (colon). I was rereading Margaret Atwood as I wrote this. If I had a three-hour interview with Snape, one of the things I would fit in is a reading of the opening chapter of Cat's Eye, to compare how Atwoood's depiction of memory (physicist's Time, but filtered through human perception) compared to an accomplished Occlumen's theory of mind/memory. Again, thank you!

tigerlily2 2008.02.26 - 10:39PM 2: Betrayals Signed
Wow, I like that! He actually asked that of Voldemort knowing what Lily would do but knowing that was the way to end Voldemort? Good job!

Author's Response: If he knew of a way to save Lily from Voldemort, the only reason I can think he wouldn't have implemented it is that there were something else of higher value--Lily's higher value, not his....

Cuthalion 2008.02.17 - 09:06AM 2: Betrayals Signed
One word: Brilliant. Excellent caharcterization, wonderfully written,in a painful, merciless rhythm. Bravo. Cúthalion

Author's Response: Thank you for mentioning the rhythm; I worked very hard on that, so it's good to see it appreciated. Technically, it would be brava, but I'll accept your accolade. I've been very much enjoying yours, by the by. Wolf Moon, and I went back and read First Cracks, which seemed--very in synch with how I intuit Severus. Very painful, very true. I think a true look at Snape is painful. And healing. Thanks for your review.

Pasi 2008.02.12 - 09:10AM 2: Betrayals Signed
Fascinating so far. I like your torn-up Snape.

Author's Response: Thanks! I like YOUR Snape, a lot, so the praise means more. I meant this one as a two-shot, but all my stories so far are in the same (attempted canon-compliant) fictional universe /understanding of events. Interview definitely has the same dualistic approach to our Severus.

DarkShine07 2007.12.21 - 01:56PM 2: Betrayals Signed
I love your story so far, it's very well written and has very complex composition. It makes me think more than the typical story, so good job! I can't wait for more. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your review; I'm flattered you like it. I've been improved by my beta's criticisms; I do have some more waiting....

LogicalQuirk 2007.12.20 - 03:25PM 2: Betrayals Signed
You can't help but feel for Snape even while hating what he's done. I thought that the repetition you used towatds the end really embodied how tortured he was about the decision; how it went through his mind so many times.

Author's Response: I used to write poetry a lot; I really worked on the ending, trying to use repetition and rhythm to establish an obsession--sounds like I succeeded at least partially. Thanks for letting me know!




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