Reviews for Betrayals
||2013.01.16 - 12:24AM
|This is really heartbreaking knowing he sets it up for Lily to not step aside and die. Beautiful writing.|
Author's Response: Thank you.
||2013.01.16 - 12:12AM
|Absolutely brilliant. Severus at his scheming, darkest best planning it meticulous out, fooling Voldermort and Lucius, then realizing a mannequin Lily isn't what he wants but the real thing with real love. |
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, I like scheming Severus. And he could have made it work....
||2009.04.19 - 11:57PM
|Really amazing. Maybe the best I've read. Snape was so in-character... and that ending summed it up so well.
So dark, so brilliant, but still so good... So in love, which can't stop a person from being good.
Author's Response: Albus told Harry, it's our choices that show what we really are.
If so, what I am is someone who is capable of appreciating Severus's choices(Blushes violently), thank you.
And you, apparently.
||2008.04.23 - 11:53PM
|this is an absolutely wonderful, heart-rending, harrowing version of these events. that first chapter, where you take severus completely through his horrible obsessive version of how he could get to have her, but then in the end it wouldn't really work anyway, and led him to dumbledore, was just brilliant, and the way you kept repeating that refrain of how he could make it work. chilling, really. and then the second chapter was just as powerful, and just as heart and gut-wrenching. really well done.|
Author's Response: Thanks. I've been through an obsession or two myself, and I know the rhythm-- he could have made it work, really, if he chose to. If he could have chosen that. I don't remember who said this: "Lust is wanting the other person; love is wanting the other person's good."
Thanks for the review.
||2008.02.29 - 08:06PM
|Amazing, absolutely amazing. You really build up the tension with Dumbledore and Snape. I loved their exchange and I could really see Potter through Snape's eyes and I thought of that line from PoA when Snape says to Harry about being arrogant like his father for believing in his friends. I also really liked seeing Voldemort reak through Snape's mind with Legilimency. I really like how torn up you make Snape. I love your writing so much. You have an excellent command of the language and I love how you structure the sentences and your use of repetition. My favorite author is Margaret Atwood and she does that a lot in her writing as well and it just elevates the writing to a whole new level and adds a touch of poetry to the language. Brilliant!|
Author's Response: What I love about your review is that you notice things I was TRYING to do. Yes, if I ever had Harry Potter read this I would want him to notice where Severus's resentment at James'
arrogance in POA was really rooted: that it led, ultimately, to Lily's death (in Severus's view, which is not unbiased). Thank you for your comments on my verbal structures: I worked very hard on my use of language, and had a great beta (colon). I was rereading Margaret Atwood as I wrote this. If I had a three-hour interview with Snape, one of the things I would fit in is a reading of the opening chapter of Cat's Eye, to compare how Atwoood's depiction of memory (physicist's Time, but filtered through human perception) compared to an accomplished Occlumen's theory of mind/memory.
Again, thank you!
||2008.02.29 - 07:45PM
|Wow! This blew me away. If there was a way to give this a 15 I would. I loved how you showed Snape's control, his cleverness and his scheming to get Lily to love him. I love how his plan was slow and deliberate and calculated. It was dark and erotic and it perfectly captured the obsessive nature of Snape. You described his psyche perfectly and the mental state of someone who is an abuser--someone who cuts off a woman from her friends and family and makes her wholly dependnet on him. This is Snape at his manipulative best. I also loved the refrain of "he could make it work." It undercuts the growing desperation and Snape's ability to self-delude himself. I also liked the gorwing erotic undercurrent in the work and imagined Snape hot and sweaty and aroused at the thought of possessing Lily. And then I loved at the end where Snape truly saw that he loved her and wanted to keep her safe, so he turned to Dumbledore. This was absolutely amazing and I am in awe.|
Author's Response: Sounds like you observed what I was trying to do--on several levels, most of them not very nice--what I cared about was the temptation he RESISTED: "obsessive, slow, deliberate, calculated, dark, erotic... cutting a woman off from her friends and family". Self-delusion, yes indeed. And the increasing desperation, so glad someone acknowledged that!
"De' Nile is a river in Egypt." Oh, I think our Severus knew that one. Or, maybe one should say, followed it to its source. And then turned elsewhere, which is why we (or at least I) care where he ended.... Thank you!!
If you like manipulative!Snape, read my First Interview; I feel sure it will meet with your approval (crocodile--Nile--grin).
||2008.02.26 - 10:39PM
|Wow, I like that! He actually asked that of Voldemort knowing what Lily would do but knowing that was the way to end Voldemort? Good job!|
Author's Response: If he knew of a way to save Lily from Voldemort, the only reason I can think he wouldn't have implemented it is that there were something else of higher value--Lily's higher value, not his....
||2008.02.17 - 09:06AM
|One word: Brilliant. Excellent caharcterization, wonderfully written,in a painful, merciless rhythm. Bravo. Cúthalion|
Author's Response: Thank you for mentioning the rhythm; I worked very hard on that, so it's good to see it appreciated. Technically, it would be brava, but I'll accept your accolade. I've been very much enjoying yours, by the by. Wolf Moon, and I went back and read First Cracks, which seemed--very in synch with how I intuit Severus. Very painful, very true. I think a true look at Snape is painful. And healing. Thanks for your review.
||2008.02.12 - 09:10AM
|Fascinating so far. I like your torn-up Snape.|
Author's Response: Thanks! I like YOUR Snape, a lot, so the praise means more. I meant this one as a two-shot, but all my stories so far are in the same (attempted canon-compliant) fictional universe /understanding of events. Interview definitely has the same dualistic approach to our Severus.
||2008.02.11 - 11:36PM
|I love how you can really "hear" Snape's obsessive thoughts. It's like he comes up a plan, can't stop thinking about it, and refines it over and over. Very well done. Goes nicely with canon too... I could hear that part where he's begging Dumbledore to hide her. "Oh, and Potter and the boy as well... I suppose."|
Author's Response: I'm glad you noticed the main theme and the appendix.... (oh, and the boy as well...) I tried to write this so it would slide in between canon scenes.
Thank you for your review; I was trying to capture obsession in the way I was writing this. Yes, I do think that Snape was absolutely obsessed in the year between his betrayal and Lily's death, and that he has never fully recovered. Especialy if, as I posit, he really did have a way to preserve Lily's life--at a cost he/she refused to pay.
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