Occlumency :: A Severus Snape archive

Reviews for The Mourner

GrunAugen	2007.10.23 - 03:39PM	3: Chapter 3: An Intruder	Signed
Hi: I just wanted to tell you I'm really loving the story so far. I enjoy your writing, especially your descriptions and the way you use words to enliven our (the readers') vision of the setting and characters, rather than merely depending on tried and true turns of phrase. I find your Severus is believably IC (since you're extrapolating to explore an AU anyhow), and I really wonder what he's going to do next. You've left so many options open at this point! Will he be the conscientious citizen and put out a "found" notice, or will he decide that Perdita is "perdita" no longer and claim her for his own? From the scene you wrote with Draco and his wife, Perdita seemed well-cared for despite the couple's fears as to her nature. So I have to wonder, will the girl miss her parents? Of course, there could be another reason "Perdita Malfoy" was not listed on Hogwarts' admissions list.... Anyway, you have me thinking, and speculating. ;) Keep up the great work, and update soon! Author's Response: Thanks! blushes I'm especially delighted that you think Snape is IC--this is always somthing I worry about, and I'm especially concerned about it with this story, as I'm striving to give him a (hopefully) more pleasant life after the war (he deserves it!) without being overly sentimental. I'm afraid Perdita really is a Squib... but Draco and his wife aren't out of the picture for long. I do hope you'll read the rest as it's available.

amr	2007.10.19 - 09:49PM	3: Chapter 3: An Intruder	Anonymous
Draco's daughter a red-head? With green eyes? Still, a nice touch. I've read a summary of Silas Marner, and I see the similarities here, but I still can't fit Winter's Tale (which I know much better) in here. But I look forward to seeing how you work it in. I notice that all your stories are in the present tense, by the way, which seems a clever way for a non-native speaker of English (which I assume you are) to avoid the worst traps. But there are still a few slips when you have to look back ("lay" not "lie," for example.) Thanks for the update, though. I look forward to this story's continuation. Author's Response: Non-native speaker?! Actually, I'm an American and have a BA in literature, as well as a master's in literature from an ivy league school. I'm also a published writer and an editor. I know what I'm doing when it comes to literature and writing. Thanks for your amusingly insulting comments, though.... And I invite you to refrain from reading my work in the future.