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Reviews for Unseen

beaweasley2 2007.08.08 - 06:13PM 1: Chapter 1: Summer After First Year Anonymous
Cute idea and well written because now I'm hooked...

sarabella76 2007.08.06 - 12:27AM 8: Epilogue: The Consequences of Our Decisions Signed
This was really wonderful. But so gut-wrenchingly sad. My sadness for Snape is renewed. I hated his tragic end and like you, I want nothing more than to give him a happy ending. Anyway, great job. I really enjoyed it.

Emmiebyrd 2007.08.05 - 10:19PM 8: Epilogue: The Consequences of Our Decisions Signed
A great read as always. I've been checking twice daily for the end of this. Once again, you do not disappoint. Keep on writing....I'll be here....

watanabe 2007.08.04 - 07:33AM 1: Chapter 1: Summer After First Year Signed
you write the best background story on Lily/SS relationship. Not OTT at all and Snape sticks true to his character instead of being some sensitive, devillishly handsome man featured in some other fanfic stories i read.Nothing wrong with that i have to amend (imagination is everybody's perrogrative and for no one to question), but it was his lack of human skill as well as looks that makes snape, well, snape. i love him for his intelligence and as you put it, 'his studied indifference'. these are the combinations that makes him so devellishly attractive and strangely, sensual. you comprehend this perfectly well and i so love you for that. please come up with the SS/HG soon. please make him happy in the story. he so deserve it.

Aurealis 2007.07.27 - 11:50PM 7: Chapter 7: The Summer After Seventh Year Signed
That was so good, it was delicious!!! Honestly the writing was fluid and emotional and addictive. I'm really hoping that you update soon.

totalreadr 2007.07.20 - 05:26PM 7: Chapter 7: The Summer After Seventh Year Signed
That Christmas confrontation has stayed in my mind and kept me marveling at the many screws your Lily seems to have missing. She's left the realm of "flawed" and moved on to ... too different from me for me to understand her behavior (AKA "utterly insane"). If I were in Snape's shoes, that "we were just kids" line would have provoked the following speech:

"No, we didn't used to say that. You've been saying it all along. How was I supposed to know you'd suddenly changed your mind? And now you're saying I never should have believed you in the first place? I deserve better than that. If your feelings have changed and our agreement has to end, you owe it to me to tell me so and apologize. If you can't manage that, then we're not even friends."

Now I'm wondering, since you apparently understand people like that, how your Lily would have reacted to such a speech...

...

Actually, at the age of 17 I might have been sidetracked by:

"...now you're saying I never should have believed you in the first place? Do you lie to everyone or is it just me? And if I shouldn't believe a word you say, why should I believe you when you tell me not to kiss you?"

And then if she brought up Petunia she'd get:

"Pepper and I had an agreement for the summer. We both knew from the beginning that we were just experimenting. Did all the boys you've snogged know you were just experimenting? I know I didn't. You told me you were serious about me. Do you lie to everyone or is it just me?"


totalreadr 2007.07.20 - 02:11PM 7: Chapter 7: The Summer After Seventh Year Signed
I'm having a hard time believing in a reconciliation that doesn't address the EXTREME double standard that Lily's been showing. As in, she admits she's had it and was wrong. But maybe I have more pride than Snape.

...right.

Also... The decision to have sex is always based on information about the prospective partner (sometimes just the information that they're attractive, but still -- information). If someone's information is incorrect they may make a choice they wouldn't had they known the truth. Given that fact, if you know your prospective partner's information is incorrect, you have an obligation to correct it. Deliberately withholding correction, thus influencing the decision, is not much better than deliberately providing false information in order to influence the decision. Both are a species of violation.

And that goes double when the sex in question is their first time.

...

Perhaps I'm a worse person than Snape, but if I were in his shoes that entire "can't make her choose, therefore must leave" decision would lose a LOT of its power to move me when I thought back on the loss of my virginity and realized Lily's, excuse me, LIE. (Not only did she withhold potentially important information, she also let him make a fool of himself, whereas telling him would have nipped the fool-making in the bud.)

Already after the last chapter I was thinking I'd have trouble caring if, having already accepted Murder In The Service Of The Cause, I accidentally killed this particular person too. But I thought perhaps I wouldn't feel that way without the direct line you provided into Lily's thoughts. Now...

I think the problem is that after all she put Severus through and the really, really, mind-bendingly extreme!!! double standard that she never could let go of...you'll never convince me this Lily ever really loved him. It seems this Lily can only "love" him if he shows complete loyalty (and she has to show none), jumps through all sorts of hoops (and she jumps through none), and just generally Does Grand Things. Because, she seems to think, he as he is is just not good enough for her.

It is a neat reversal of all the fics where the guy has that sort of double standard.

Anyway though, it's one thing to convince the reader Lily never loved Severus, but in this case I'd feel that way if I were him, too...

...

You've addressed some of this with your characterization of James as squeaky-clean sweetie of the light, but... You can't pull off popular guy status and still be that much of a...sweetie toward girls, nor can you be 100% light, because to be a popular guy you have to be a bully, which James canonically was, so... I'm not sure if you're just saying Lily doesn't see it or that it's actually not there. But it is.

James -- and Lily -- may have thought he was always and 100% true to "the light," but they were fooling themselves.

...

If Severus joined Voldemort mainly to have money to support Lily, then I imagine he'll shortly realize, "You know, I'm a half-blood and here he's for pureblood supremacy..."

I tend to think the DEs were more clearly a terrorist group -- not a place to earn money, but a place to, if anything, give it for the cause -- by even the '70s, and that someone would have to be All Fired Up to join them.

...

In conclusion, I just have to reiterate that I for one could never forgive someone who ruined my first time like that. That is seriously the single worst first time I can imagine. Worse than paying for it. Worse [for me] than being forcibly raped, which though targets do tend to blame themselves is nevertheless in the end easier to understand is not the target's fault. Just... Worst. First Time. Ever.


Emmiebyrd 2007.07.20 - 04:58AM 7: Chapter 7: The Summer After Seventh Year Signed
Thank you. I can climb stairs happily. More later....

Emmiebyrd 2007.07.19 - 07:09PM 6: Chapter 6: Summer After Sixth Year Signed
I've been reading this as quickly as I can. I love this story (but I love all your stories...). Please post 7th year soon, I need more walking material (I read copies of fan fic while walking the stairs at work for exercise. Probably dangerous but it makes it seem like less work). Lily is such an itiot.

leraiv snape 2007.07.18 - 03:42AM 6: Chapter 6: Summer After Sixth Year Signed
Twisted story. Interesting, though, tracing them from childhood to adulthood via the summertimes, and their sexual awakening is very well-written. The most sympathetic Petunia I've ever read, and one of the most unsympathetic Lilys, though many people paint her rather badly. My heart aches for Severus, as usual. Well done!

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