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Reviews for A More Merciful Man

Ellyn 2008.02.11 - 01:21PM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
I get the feeling we're going to find out something very unflattering about Gash. At least, I keep wondering why his wife has withdrawn so completely from Princilla's life; just because she and her husband are pursuing private interests doesn't necessarily mean she wouldn't put in a public appearance now and then for the sake of appearances or that she wouldn't have a genuine interest in Princilla. She's either a very hard and selfish woman or there is something else going on. And when exactly is Severus going to realize that signing the contract will make four people miserable, himself included? Nevertheless, I reread your prologue to the first chapter, and I'm holding on to your statement that Severus is going to find happiness in this story, and I can't imagine he would be able to find happiness while married to Princilla.

masami 2008.02.11 - 07:46AM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
This is such a wonderful story. I love your Severus - proud and stubborn yet vulnerable - and Jane, who is so unapologetically herself. How are you going to turn this disaster around? Nobody should have to choose becoming an outcast for their love's sake, no love can bear that price, I think. Poor Severus, and poor Jane.

cobhome 2008.02.10 - 02:35AM 38: Cosmopolitan Signed
I am sorry if youo took my review in a very negative way - perhaps I should have expressed myself differently - I reiterate that I think this is the best fan fic I have read - in part because it clearly does address the complexities of a character like Snape. I agree absolutely - that Jane is secure enough about herself to not be intimidated by his less than utterly desireable qualities - and also that she clearly does manipulate him - which seems to me will bring her some problems in the future. I will happily continue to read the story and apologize for offering feedback which you thought suggested that I did not wish to read it -

Carrot top 2008.02.09 - 09:19PM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
excellent chapter, please update soon

linda0506 2008.02.09 - 04:35PM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
I thought that was really wonderful. Bad Severus. If you are not a professional writer, you should be!!

Trickie Woo 2008.02.09 - 04:13PM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
I hope that Princilla is already pregnant with Draco's child. If prospective bride was pregnant by another man it would nullify any marriage contract that I know of in any culture and the injured party would be due a settlement. I would imagine it to be the same in wizarding culture. If he signs the contract and goes through with the marriage and say around 8 or 9 months later a white haired baby pops out of her he would have grounds for annulment. Wizard culture doesn't seem to sanction divorce, but honor is important to them, especially to Slytherins, so I would imagine an anullement would be the only possible course for a wizard under those circumstances. I wonder if the same reasoning would apply to a witch if her prospective bridegroom had impregnated another woman during their marriage negotiations? Princilla deserves to be a Malfoy, though I do like her father; Severus deserves to be loved by a woman and to to love that woman in return. They deserve to belong to each other. I think a marriage between them would have the full approval of Jane's mother because she loves her daughter and wants what is best for Jane's welfare. Please give me the happy ending I've spent nearly 2 years waiting for.

Deeble 2008.02.09 - 04:00PM 39: Black Turncoat Signed
Heartbreaking. He brought it on himself, of course, but he has little experience in healthy relationships.

Deeble 2008.02.09 - 12:50PM 38: Cosmopolitan Signed
I'm glad we get to meet Jane's mum -- she's been a presence hovering in the background, and now she's burst in, larger than life. I can see why she thinks it important to test her daughters' lovers in this way, damn the consequences, and I can also see why Jane has deeply mixed feelings about her. A very interesting chapter.

cobhome 2008.02.09 - 12:53AM 38: Cosmopolitan Signed
I have thoroughly enjoyed this story - you expertly - and erotically - write the sex scenes - it is my fav fan fic - and until this last chapter my only complaint has been the long wait in between chapters - however - I must make two observations re: the "Cosmopolitan" chapter. In the previous chapter we see that Snape has bought a suitcase with clothes in it - he even complains about lack of space for his clothing. But in the last chapter - Jane has to wash his clothes ( the implication being he would otherwise be without clothing) and he must go about naked in order to retrieve his clothing, what about the clothes in the drawer that he brought in his suitcase? The naked when momma arrives scenario really seems contrived - the first such instance in your otherwise great read. My second observation is that this story is starting to go in the "women with mush for brains who think that all a seriously screwed up guy needs is good sex and scones for breakfast and he'll be fine" direction. The Snape character is a deeply flawed man who has done really really terrible things. The notion that his issues with intimacy, self hatred, guilt, anxiety, paranoia, perfectionism, etc etc etc are gonna be "cured" by lots of oral sex and good food is - silly. Jane is starting to act like a "mommy" - tucking her little boy into bed, leaving him nice crispy clean clothes and a cholesterol laden - but still yummy - breakfast. I fear we may even have him converted and attending church any day now. I'd suggest that this direction is not up to the standard of the previous chapters.

Author's Response: The chapter makes plain that Snape arrived in robes. He does not particularly like Muggle clothing (which will be mentioned in the next chapter), which is to be expected. He's brought Muggle clothing only so he can get out of the house. He's not planning on doing that. It seems more illogical for a person in a house completely alone to put on clothing they find uncomfortable to walk downstairs simply to get other clothing that they prefer to wear. He makes a detour by the scones. But again he's absolutely alone. Jane's mother arriving when she does has to do with the fact that she wants to talk to her daughter's lover (whoever that might be) alone. She suspect that Jane brought him to Penzance. And in order to get him alone she arrives at the house when she knows Jane will be gone to church. So that makes perfect sense to me. As for Snape going to church, it's plain throughout that he has a complete disdain for it, which he shares with Jane's mother. There's no sign that he'll be attending himself anytime soon. As for your assertion about "women with mush for brains," well you're certainly entitled to think that's so about Jane, but I don't agree. She challenges him and she manipulates him. If anything, it is she who has the upper hand, not him. Her great strength is that she is not cowed by his self-hatred, guilt, anxiety, and paranoia. She sees past that into his courage, his loyalty, his intelligence, and his decency. And she wants to indulge him because he has led a life of such austerity. And, of course, because it gives her a sense of power to bring out the physical "weaknesses" in him. And I don't think Snape is going to be "cured". Anxiouis, paranoid, guilty people fall in love all the time. Maybe moreso. I wouldn't worry about that. Thanks for your questions. I usually don't answer reviews unless they actually do pose questions, and yours made me think. You are also entitled to think this entry not up to the previous chapters, if you like. Or not to read the rest of the story at all!

javoher 2008.02.08 - 01:57AM 38: Cosmopolitan Signed
This is sooo well written, and interesting! Jane is a really cool character, I love hearing her thoughts and seeing how she responds to Snape's snarking and superficial nastiness. Can't wait to see what she does when she finds out about that contract Snape hasn't yet signed.

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