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Reviews for No Good Deed

Vocalion 2005.09.12 - 11:14AM 5: Interlude Two Signed
Sorry I fell behind in reviewing this. I didn't realize some chapters got past me. He would be formal and call her Margaret, wouldn't he? I'm looking forward to how Snape's relationship with the child will progress, and where you plan to send her off to so they can have their love scene. ;-)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Vocalion! I'm just glad you're back. :-) It will be interesting to see how Snape relates to Mikayla and vice versa. I can hardly wait! And what makes you think that they're going to have a love scene? :-)
~Lisa

Subversa 2005.09.11 - 11:34PM 5: Interlude Two Signed
Sqee! Another chapter! You're spoiling me. Severus is SUCH a...cold bastard. I think Mikayla is going to have to get an iron grip on his innards and give him a right yank. Interesting character, young Mr. Denbrow. Tell me more, LariLee. I'll be good, I promise =)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Subversa! He is very cold, but I think some warmth is coming his way. :-) I'm working on the next chapter now!
~Lisa

Owlbait 2005.09.11 - 09:44PM 5: Interlude Two Signed
What a jerk! Couldn't you hurt him a little more, for me?

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Owlbait! Let's say he'll be hurting more in the future, because he will be.
~Lisa

Trickie Woo 2005.09.11 - 07:29PM 5: Interlude Two Signed
JR Denbrow is a right bastard, but he sounds like an adequate NCO, his men seem to trust him. He sounds like he's a platoon Sgt., so with 2 hitches and that MOS his rank is too high, he should be an E5 or E6, particularly since he's active duty reg Army and not called up from the Reserves or the National Guard. For some reason active duty soldiers make rank slower than Reserves or Guard do, even though it's mostly active duty who face front line combat and the Guard and Reserves are in support positions. An E8 master sergeant would usually be the company 1st Sgt and have at least 10 yrs. in, and probably more. The only NCO who would outrank an E8 would be a Sergeant Major, an E9. In a case like this that position would be Battalion Sgt. Major. As with the Officer Corps, the higher the rank the less people who hold that rank. From what my husband told me of his 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam your description of combat is right on the nose. Denbrow sounds like he needs the Army, he can't function on the outside, but does the Army really need him?. He's probably the type that spends his all off hours at the NCO club drinking because he has no functional relationships with any people off duty. The military has more than it's share of that type, I've known them well, but fortunately it has many more good NCO's who are married family men and who function well with both the military on duty and off duty and the civilian world outside. Denbrow just isn't one of these. So Mikayla likes him. I love his description of her, it sounds exactly like my cousin's daughter when she was that age. I babysat for her for a few days when her regular sitter's husband had surgery. I took her to a neighborhood diner for lunch one day and while we sat at the counter eating lunch she proceeded to tell me, the man behind the counter, and everyone else there [I would bet] about the mother of the little boy her sitter also had for daycare. His mother had just had a miscarriage and she went into details she could only have overheard at the sitters house. She knew all the medical terms and used them correctly. The whole family learned never to talk about anything you didn't want repeated if she was anywhere around. I think she must have had one of Fred & George's magical extended ears and always used it. I do believe that Mikayla is the hook that will end up attaching Snape to Maggie no matter what he thinks, besides, he likes how maggie is raising her. I hope you don't mind my long and rambling reviews, my mind and body are both adjusting to coming off 18 months of progesterone therapy. Believe me, both the cure and coming off it are worse than the problem it was prescribed for, if it happens again I'm demanding surgery, better that than 18 months of PMS.

Author's Response: I wouldn't say that JR is a right bastard I've reserved that title for someone else. :-) After talking to several people who have military experience, they thought master sergeant was appropriate, so that's where he stays. I'm sure Denbrow is a good soldier because it balances for him -- giving orders, yet not having to think for himself because he's following orders. Your cousin's daughter sounds adorable :-)
So far, Snape is finding it hard to sneer at them and he's fighting getting closer. :-) Progesterone therapy is really rough, I hope you do well coming off it. And as long as you review the story, you can leave long reviews. :-)
~Lisa

June W 2005.09.11 - 07:10PM 5: Interlude Two Signed
Has Maggie ever told her daughter who her daddy is? Romance coming soon? I'd rather see you hurt "Just-Call-Me-John" instead of Severus, please. And yes, sometimes immature brats get into the military - some of them pushed into enlisting by parents who hope the experience straightens them up. Chocolate hearts for the plot bunnies!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, June W! Maggie will answer her daughter's questions as honestly as possible, but so far, Mikayla hasn't asked who... yet. How could I hurt Severus? Hasn't he been through enough! After all, he taught Potions with Neville Longbottom in the class. :-) and the plot bunnies say thank you as well!
~Lisa

Mary Ella 2005.09.11 - 05:57PM 5: Interlude Two Signed
I like this chapter it is a nice break from the tensity that a reader may feel. Yet I still feel the urge to scream at Snape to take the chance on the waitress. Then again, that is the low point of being a reader.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Mary Ella! I often have the urge to scream at Snape because he just jolly well doesn't want to follow the plot... he wants to wander off all broody. :-)
~Lisa

annabelx 2005.09.11 - 03:18PM 4: Chapter Two Signed
more please.

Author's Response: Thank you, annabelx! The Interlude chapter should be up shortly.
~Lisa

Subversa 2005.09.11 - 11:43AM 4: Chapter Two Signed
Aaah, I do love a dark Severus -- especially when he's written by someone else, because I seem to be incapable of doing it. This man fascinates me with his abilities to continue to distance himself from every other human being on this planet. I'm not quite sure why Maggie would be intrigued by him, considering he behaves like such an arse to her. She, I suppose, shares my fascination with the obviously intelligent and observant man who cannot be fathomed. You continue to lay lovely bread crumbs on the story trail, dear Author.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Subversa! You have no idea how happy I am that you're enjoying this. He doesn't like people, but he realizes he needs contact with them. Why is Maggie intrigued by him? That is an excellent question. Thank you!
~Lisa

Osiodhachain 2005.09.09 - 08:57PM 4: Chapter Two Signed
I love this story. It's the only one on Occlumency that I've been looking forward to reading lately. You've developed a very believable setting outside of Hogwarts. I like the dynamic that's happening between Snape and Maggie.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Osiodhachain! I am so happy you're enjoying this story!
~Lisa "Dance, plot bunnies, dance!"

Gannet 2005.09.09 - 04:10PM 4: Chapter Two Signed
Thanks for the update!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Gannet! New chapter should be up Sunday evening.
~Lisa

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