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Reviews for Ashen and Sober Skies

June W 2005.06.12 - 11:44PM 9: Eight - Troubled Waters Signed
Ack! Albus didn't go back to little-Severus by the tree with the leaves! Sigh... Albus could use some help?

Author's Response: And help is on the way, I assure you!

Lady Whitehart 2005.06.12 - 11:29PM 9: Eight - Troubled Waters Signed
Such a haunting story. You have done a phenominal job describing Snape's personal Hell.

Author's Response: Thank you, as always. I wanted something visually interesting, and I hope I've succeeded.

Odd Doll 2005.06.12 - 11:19PM 9: Eight - Troubled Waters Signed
This is a fascinating work. I like the dreamscape you created, and the way you don't shy away from the bad in your characters.

If I had to make a concrit comment, it would be about your prose, and the language the characters use. I realize you are probably trying to go for a high tone, and that is great. It perfectly suits the depth and nature of the material. However, your sentence structure is a bit off. The twisting of the prose to get a bit of an archaic feel should not be at the sacrifice of clarity. The sentences should still flow, and yours don't always. This slightly-off sentence structure is a real problem in your dialogue. The HP characters don't talk this way in canon, real 20th century characters certainly don't. It comes off a bit artificial. It also makes your story run the risk of being overwrought -- too heavy, taking itself too seriously. I've had a sense of this a couple times, although overall it is very good.

I am enjoying this story, and looking forward to future chapters. If you ever need a beta, you can contact me.
Odd Doll

Author's Response: I'm responding in full via a more interactive means, as I am interested in discussing some of your comments in better depth.

Verity Brown 2005.06.12 - 11:19PM 9: Eight - Troubled Waters Signed
Ouch, very troubled waters indeed. How does Dumbledore hope to fix this? Especially since Severus has, in fact, undoubtedly done so much of what he remembers. I see no way out of this. I sincerely hope you do.

Author's Response: Where there's a will, there's a way. :)

thewhisperingwolf 2005.06.12 - 11:04PM 9: Eight - Troubled Waters Signed
Dreadful...painful....and fantastic. I admit to having a penchant for Angst Snape - but this is so, so dark...thanks for not taking the easy way to redemption - if we make it there at all.

Author's Response: It is both extremely dark and very, very grim, and that is something that I really wanted to write. Ultimately, this is a redemption story, but the way there is a hard one.

thewhisperingwolf 2005.06.12 - 10:54PM 8: Seven - Memories Signed
Wonderful psychological landscape! Poor, poor child-Severus...

Author's Response: Thank you!

thewhisperingwolf 2005.06.12 - 10:47PM 7: Six - Somnia Aperio Signed
I love this story. I've been away for a few days and have come back to three new chapters! Hurray!! I agree with the note about the use of humor - just the right touch to make it realistic - the the gravity of the subject matter bearable.

Author's Response: Well, thank you, as always! As I've mentioned before (I love this author response box!), I'm trying to update every couple days or so. With as grim as the subject is, I don't think I could bear waiting any longer to read it, and I certainly have problems going more than a couple days without writing it. Fortunately, the story is nearly complete, so I have the opportunity to keep up with regular updates.

Grainne 2005.06.12 - 01:46PM 8: Seven - Memories Signed
Still enthralled with this story, so thanks. This chapter was especially rich, visually and emotionally.

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope I can keep your attention, then. :)

Odd Doll 2005.06.12 - 12:48AM 8: Seven - Memories Signed
This is very moving and gripping.

Author's Response: Thank you.

Odd Doll 2005.06.12 - 12:48AM 8: Seven - Memories Signed
This is very moving and gripping.

Author's Response: Again, thank you.

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