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Reviews for A Merciless Affection

Tethered Serpent 2005.06.22 - 10:44PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Well, this wasn't actually as bad as I feared, so don't worry. To be honest, I think that unless you're going someplace really awful with Sarah's own journey in this fic's future, the most disturbing bits were at the beginning and were well advertised in advance. Snape's choice to start their affair at all--knowing exactly what he was doing thereby!--seems much worse than an old memory, particularly given the depths of the remorse and self-hatred attached to said memory. Having said that, I loved the way it came out, with the usually-articulate Snape reduced to broken, garbled phrases--and I also loved Sarah's response.

I have to confess that I may not have gotten the full effect of the revelation: there's Snape in torment, and I'm still screaming at the monitor "Sarah, you idiot, BURN THE BLOODY NOTE!!!!!!" If you hadn't illustrated the class gap between them sufficiently well in the last chapter, you have now. I have this horrible sinking feeling that the trash bin and either the nosy landlady or rag-and-bone men will be the death of both of them.

Author's Response: She wasn't thinking very clearly, was she? But she did leave the ink and quill on the table (ok, that's a hint for the next chapter). This was the darkest revelation I plan for the story. There's *another* revelation, not dark as such, but something you, I think, in particular, will kill me for. :~) But not yet.

Author's Response: Ooops, my mistake! It's Teacherspet who's going to kill me. Fibro *so* wreaks havoc with my memory...for names in particular.


vanityfair 2005.06.22 - 09:13PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Ooh, your Snape is very scary. He walks a very fine line bordering on abuse, and he's shown that he's not afraid to cross it. I would have to say that this is not a healthy relationship, but it is a compelling story. I like the OFC that you have created. Sarah is very round, with a dark history to match Snape's. I wonder, will you wait and try and incorporate book 6, (you haven't yet finished year 5 yet,) or will it become AU after July 16th? Good work!

Author's Response: Wow, it's good to see you here, vanityfair! I didn't know you were an Occlumite as well. :-)

I wonder if Snape (or at least my Snape) is capable of *having* a relationship that's any healthier than this one. Sarah probably could have had something healthier, with someone else, but it's too late for her now. Remember that I said at the very beginning that the guiding light for this story was Joanne's statement (roughly): "Who would want Snape in love with them? That's a very horrible idea." It's not *allowed* to be easy, although I hope it will work out as happily as possible in the end.

I am hoping to be able to keep this story canon, but I'm very fearful that HBP will explode bits of my story, especially Snape's background. If it becomes AU, then it becomes AU. Still on tenterhooks about that. How many days is it now? *sighs*

Mariana 2005.06.22 - 05:11PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
I think there may be something wrong with me, because I actually was very happy with this chapter, and not at all depressed. I think she shows the two of them growing, and maturing, and beginning to know each other better and better. Bravo!

Author's Response: They've certainly hit rock bottom together. I'm glad it wasn't too traumatic for you!

Lady Whitehart 2005.06.22 - 04:44PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Yikes! Sarah really has run out of options.She must really love him if she isn't leaving him. We all knew that he probably had done some very horrific things in his past, but to have them brought out into the light... *shivers* I really don't know whether to hate him or to love him all the more. Prozac and Vallium weren't enough; I had to borrow some of the stuff Bear Tagger uses in her dart gun.

Author's Response: Ouch, dart gun tranquilizer? I hope you didn't have to administer it *with* the dart? ;~) We'll see how Sarah holds up in the next chapter. And hear a little more (from a sober Severus) on how he has coped.

Melvacaea 2005.06.22 - 03:57PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
*searches for Valium* *looks down at bottle* *wonders if she should take both of them* I'm kidding. One, I don't own either Prozac or Valium. Two, it wasn't as terrible as other things I've read... but it was dark enough. *shakes her by the hand* Well done! -Mel

Author's Response: I know that my love of angst has gotten out of hand when you say "it wasn't as terrible as other things I've read" and my first thought is "Ooo, what, where?" LOL I'm glad you liked it! *shakes back*

mouse 2005.06.22 - 03:13PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Ah, don't apologise for the darkness; it has always been part of this story, and I have complete faith in you as a writer. You're not going to scare me off anytime soon :D I too would like to compliment you on the very powerful and effective metaphor of walking down a cliff you wouldn't jump off of. That was absolutely brilliant. And I feel still feel great sympathy for Severus; his treatment of Sarah on their wedding night bothered me a lot more than these revelations about his past. We all know that he *was* a monster; it's the fact that he isn't one now that makes him so magnetic. His is now very vulnerably a human being again. Perhaps he got right to the bottom of that cliff before he realised that he needed to start walking up it again...

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the cliff metaphor. It just came to me, but I thought it worked very well with what Sarah has been learning in her own foray in being a double-agent. I think that very few people who have done evil things simply plunged right into them. On the contrary, how many of the evil things that people do are a result of one small bad act followed by another, all with suitable excuses to themselves? Sarah has found, for herself, that it is all too easy to act in a way that seems expedient, only to be trapped by circumstances into doing things she did not intend. Could you teach a twelve-year-old Severus the Killing Curse and then expect him to use it without hesitation (even if he could do so without consequences) in his next duel with the Marauders? I'd like to think not. I suspect it was an accretion of events, suffering, hatreds, darker and darker spells--all leading him down to a point where he could actually kill someone with his wand.

Gina Potter 2005.06.22 - 02:58PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
I'm sorry I didn't leave a review for you for chapters 27 and 28, but I am so busy these days I didn't have a chance to read them (but I loved them). This chapter is incredible! You made me experience powerful emotions. I have to say that now I understand whay Sarah Snape is a Gryffindor. She is a brave girl! I don't think I would have the courage to stay with him after knowing all those things. But I do believe a person can change, but it's hard to ignore the past...

Author's Response: She's still going to struggle over this some, in the next chapter. Is it really bravery? Or stupidity? Or downright dumb love? Whatever it is, it's not a comfy place to be.

Mary Ella 2005.06.22 - 02:16PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
I don't think you should worry about it being so dark or so unhappy. Keep in mind that this is a story with Severus Snape as a main character. I think most people are in agreement that he had to do terrible things to survive. Is it unfortunate? To say the least. Yet, you have to find a way to show or at least hint at what makes Severus the evil git that he is. I think the you found a more censured way to do it in this chapter. I liked reading it, but then again, I always do.

Author's Response: I wanted to have Sarah realize that he's really and truly done horrible things, in a way that she couldn't ignore. I also wanted to try to create the sense that he is haunted nightmarishly by his past deeds, because they don't cease to have ever happened, just because he changed sides. Not easy stuff. But I don't think the story would be as *real* as I want it to be if I didn't address it.

Trickie Woo 2005.06.22 - 02:02PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Your price requires a mortgage, I have already paid an exorbitant price because of all the bad and evil things that happened in my life and I was the innocent pawn. Why is it in life that the innocent suffer so? I have done my share of bad, but not evil, things, I don't suffer or feel guilty because of it. But I have never hurt an innocent. I blame God for everyones suffering, and my stepfather shares in the blame for my worst suffering, but for the death of my son God must take all responsibility. What I want from your story now is some love and some humor, some lightness. How much longer is it now before Umbridge is gone, it seems to be taking ages longer than it did in OotP. How much longer before the baby is born and a little happiness rears it's head. In a little over 3 weeks every story that is currently posted on all the myriad of fan fiction sites on the internet will all be AU so lets get the ball rolling and give these Hogwarts people some happiness and humor, especially Sarah and Severus. One point I want to make is that she was behaving with stupidity and immaturity, he reacted in the same manner. I know she is only 18, but she has shown herself to be mature beyond her years through much of the story and growing in maturity every chapter, why revert to childishness now. Snape reacted like too many men do. In the early years of our marriage my husband would walk out like that in the middle of a fight, but at least he didn't drink. We only had one car and he carried his keys in his pocket, I had to search for mine so I never got to be the one who left. That problem was solved in a couple of years when we got another car. He hasn't walked out in the middle of a fight in more than 35 years. Men can do such stupid things instead of staying there and finishing the argument.

Author's Response: I'm sorry if this is too stressy, Trickie Woo! I didn't set out to tell an easy story. :~( But there will be lemons (and other goodies), chapter after next, and then a very long, very light chapter involving Miriam. Unfortunately, Umbridge doesn't get gone in the book until nearly the end of the school year, in mid-June. We're still in Easter vacation. And now they have Voldemort problems to face, because of Lucius. Sarah reached a breaking point, which caused her usual level-headedness to take a significant plunge. That's why they ended up fighting. Men don't cope well with fighting, it seems, while women sometimes need to get things out of their systems. Anyway, again, I am sorry if this upset you too much--I *did* warn everyone.

Zhaneraal 2005.06.22 - 01:04PM 29: Here in Hell, the Blood Runs Deeper Signed
Oh, how dreadful. And yet, I'm still torn on whether to hold him or despise him for what he's done. Love is such a tangled emotion. Sarah should, by all rights, try to walk away from all this, but given the same circumstances, I'm not certain that I would. The issues are awful. The writing, as usual, is fantastic.

Author's Response: This is the sort of thing that anyone in their right mind would want to run away from. But, as you say, love is a very tangled emotion. So is guilt. Life is complicated that way. I'm just glad mine isn't as complicated as theirs.

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