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| Jade_Orchid | 2005.02.13 - 10:26AM | 2: The Invitation | Signed |
| Oh, wow. Time to meet Voldie, I take it? Bella or Voldie... that's a tough call! Tarah, this is wonderful. How could you have hidden all this talent away for so long? Hugs and smooches to you, you clever girl! Author's Response: Who said anything about MoldyWart? *looks innocent* It is an _associate_ of Lucius'! *coughcough* ;) I've been hanging around you wenches for three months... something must've rubbed off! <3 | |||
| LariLee | 2005.02.13 - 10:05AM | 2: The Invitation | Signed |
| The ways of seduction... Very nicely done! Wealth and a sense of belonging are good lures. I like the way you put Severus as poor. I never went for the Lord of Snape Manor deal. It didn't seem to suit him. ~Lisa Author's Response: Ha! If you can call what Bellatrix does "seduction". ;) Judging from the way JKR describes young Severus in canon, I get the feeling that he *wasn't* rich/well-off at this time in his life. That is... unless he had a penchant for grey underwear... but who does?! Thank you for another kind review, Lisa. :) | |||
| notsosaintly | 2005.02.10 - 07:32PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| As I've told you already, it is spectacular. I love the darkness. I love the way you allow us to read between the lines. Subtleness is an important skill when writing, especially when you are catering to an adult audience. You pulled it off with great aplomb. Please keep writing and honing your skill. Tarah, the author. *sniffs with pride* Way to go SASSy sister! Author's Response: Shucks, beloved MoSS! Surely you must know that your greatness has rubbed off on me! Much admiration and love to my SASSy sisters. | |||
| PlaidPooka | 2005.02.10 - 06:49PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| Absobloodylutely fabulous first story attempt. This is one of the most powerful drabbles I have ever read. It's hard to thrust so much emotion into so short a subject. Well done! :) Author's Response: Pook, my love! Glad you could join the party. :) You are my inspiration. <3 | |||
| southern_witch_69 | 2005.02.10 - 05:30PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| you know i love this b/c i told you already hehe... glad you posted it here, doll. i read your reviews and see that everyone else does as well. Well, except for that long odd review, but this is a drabble. you intended to leave things up to the reader to decide. don't worry on that comment. it was brilliant, and if you decide to expand, well, we'll be here reading some more. cheers, doll. Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing here as well, my lovely! Keep your eye on my fic filter. I will be posting two test chapters within the next hour or so. They will determine whether I go on or leave it as is. :) | |||
| Joanna Scarlett | 2005.02.10 - 02:41PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| I loved this piece, I loved the ambiguity and I love how you assume that your readers are intelligent enough to fill in the blanks so you don't feel the need to spoon feed them every detail. Bravo on this. Looking forward to reading more. Author's Response: I hope I didn't expect too much from my readers! Luckily SH has some of the most forgiving and sharpest readers I've come across. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for your review. | |||
| DADA_Mistress | 2005.02.10 - 02:01PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| Tarah, you never cease to amaze me. :) This is soooooooo good! I love it like the baby Jesus! Keep on truckin', girlie and update soon! Oh, and I'm sure you already know you rock my socks off! ;) Author's Response: I like to keep you SASSy wenches on your toes! *adds to her sock collection* One can never have enough se... er... socks... | |||
| zambonigirl | 2005.02.10 - 12:53PM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| Excellent, as always, Tarah. I love how everything fits together here...your drabbles are certainly something I always look forward to. Author's Response: Much love to Zambi! I'm glad you're enjoying my silly little stories. :D I shall endeavour to write more for your amusement! <3 | |||
| JSSumner | 2005.02.10 - 11:55AM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| Your writing is very good, however you left a lot of unanswered questions for this to be a one-shot, stand alone piece. Where were Severus and the girl exactly, and how did they get there? Why was Lucius there? What did raping a girl (although you did not make it perfectly clear that that was what he was doing to her) have to do with being a Death Eater? What was the point in it other than sexual gratification?
It all seems very grey and incomplete. I realize that this was intended to be an extract from his past, but it was almost too ambiguous to truly grasp. I like to be honest with my reviews. And if you are serious about writing, than I am sure you want constructive criticism.
My advice to you, would be to focus more on the inner structure of your pieces. Your grammar and style are both on key. Like I said, you write very well. Just pay more attention to the smaller details. And think, as you write, if I were to read this for the first time what questions would I have afterwards? And then apply them to your story so that it needs no explaination.
If you are just beginning, than I must commend you, as you are off to a great start. The best tool for learning to write is PRACTICE! You cannot achieve perfection, unless you first learn how to make mistakes.
That being said, I look forward to reading more of your work. You show a lot of promise and, with a little tweaking, you could definitely be one of the great ones. Keep writing! Author's Response: I think I know where you're coming from with your questions, but the best answer I can give you is that those details do not really matter. It isn't the who/what/where that is important but rather the impact of the event in its entirity. I didn't want to bog folks down in exposition. I've only been writing for *checks her watch* about 60hours, so hell no, perfection isn't an option at this stage! :D I know I will only improve with time and non-sugar-coated constructive critisizm from folks like yourself. With English being my second language, grammar and choice of words can sometimes be rather tricky. Thank you VERY much for your in-depth review. I hope I can lure you back if I post again. :) | |||
| Goblynn | 2005.02.10 - 11:36AM | 1: Already Dead | Signed |
| As I said before, Tarah, this is amazing! It's dark, yes, but in a very appropriate way. Particularly like the image of his eyes being black...interesting twist on the why of their dark coloring. Author's Response: Thank you, Goblynn my dear! Your opinion means a lot to me! :) I'll never reach your dark heights... er depths? | |||
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