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Reviews for The Silver Potion

whitehound 2005.08.13 - 08:52PM 2: Part Two Signed
Yeah, "stamped" would do - or "tramped." But "He stomped over to his desk" (or "stamped" or whatever) is probably not something one would say that neatly in British English. A British writer would probably say something slightly more long-winded like "He stormed over to his desk, stamping his feet as he went."

"He stormed over to his desk" is probably close enough: it has the same implications of temper, even if not quite so definitely attached to the feet!

Author's Response: Thank you; I shall consider editing the story accordingly. :-)


whitehound 2005.08.13 - 04:47AM 2: Part Two Signed
I love this. It has the same quality as Terry Pratchett's books in that it appears superficially humorous, but is actually wincingly serious and sad and creepy. Poor Snape - what a horrible experience.

Neville as a character seems spot on, although I felt some of the dialogue seemed a wee bit too old or too long-winded for him.

I especially loved the bit about Snape not being able to bring himself to destroy knowledge. This is of course exactly the same real-world dillemma that science faces in regard to the knowledge obtained from the Nazis' experiments on unwilling human subjects. Do we say "This is tainted" and throw it away, or do we say "People died for this" and make the best use of it we can?

And I loved, loved, loved the scene at the very end, where Snape is talking about the Death Eaters and having to grovel to Voldemort (and you know that as a spy he's going to have to go back to that). There are such depths of pain and rage and responsibility and self-knowledge and rigid honour here (yes, of course he's going to admit it was largely his error - with a somewhat ill grace) that it makes me feel slightly ill. And the bit about Hufflepuff - a beautiful compliment snappishly (Snapishly) paid, and he has to wrestle with his own speech-patterns and backtrack and explain himself just to make it come out as a compliment and not an insult.

And the idea of him using detention to set Nevill up on a date of course - sweet and yet still faintly malicious :)

[Minor irritating Americanism alert. "Stomped." Aaaargh!]

Author's Response: Thank you; I'm glad you liked it! And I love Pratchett, so I'm delighted to get a comparison to him (Granny Weatherwax rules! :D). Thank you also for the concrit, which I heartily appreciate.

"Stomped" is an Americanism? Eep! Would "stamped" be better?


Leandra 2005.08.12 - 12:10AM 2: Part Two Anonymous
Terrific story! Your Neville embodies all of the traits he has in the books, and he matures beautifully in these chapters. Snape’s insight into Neville’s relationship with his Grandmother and her expectations for him was heartbreaking. Very imaginative and clever writing. Okay, I can’t resist the urge to gush: Baby Snape with his hands outstretched saying “Up.” Too, too cute.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was my first fanfic, and is still one of my favourites - I was very happy with how Neville turned out also. Thank you for reviewing! I very much appreciate it.

lady Apythia 2005.08.04 - 10:42PM 2: Part Two Anonymous
Excellent story! I was actually yelling at my screen - "It's the blood!". For me, the sign of a good story is when I get so involved in it, I end up talking back to the characters. (or it could just be the sign of my insanity). I enjoyed it. Well done and very orginial.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's such a great compliment! You've completely made my day; thank you for such a lovely review. :D And I'm very glad you enjoyed the story.

nyssa m 2005.08.02 - 01:50PM 2: Part Two Anonymous
post the detention!

Author's Response: Hee, hee! That hadn't occured to me; I suppose it would have to go on Lumos instead of Occlumency...

Owlbait 2005.07.13 - 08:44PM 2: Part Two Signed
Uh oh, I've got that urge to cuddle Severus again. That has to be dangerous.Dumbledore can get away with that sort of thing. I loved that he spent the night, baby Sev might have woken up frightened or needed help.

Very nice development of Neville's character, and excellent explanation of the potion disaster. I like that it was coherent, not totally random.

Author's Response: It's okay; I get the urge to cuddle Severus even in stories where he's a grown-up, and you know *that* can't be safe! :-D

I think Potions has to have some kind of underlying theory that governs it, because otherwise how could anyone figure out how to brew anything? All that jazz about stirring things the right number of times and in the right direction...there must be some kind of logic to it (screams the thoroughly Muggle scientist inside me).


slytherin05 2005.07.05 - 10:37PM 2: Part Two Signed
YES!!!!!! i loved that last little remark of snapes! i had forgotten all about Pansy! there's a detention i would love to see in action (shameless hint)

Author's Response: I wonder if Pansy could convince Neville to stop being a "nice boy". Hmm...interesting idea! :D Thanks for your review!

Yael Alexis 2005.06.04 - 07:26PM 2: Part Two Signed
I like the whole story very much. Congratulations!

Author's Response: Oh thank you! You're very kind.

tisasil 2005.05.28 - 12:21PM 2: Part Two Signed
Again, your dialogue is wonderful. Loved the ending. Enjoyed Baby!Snape a lot. LOL Kudos

Author's Response: Thanks! He was great fun to write.

tisasil 2005.05.28 - 11:55AM 1: Part 1 Signed
Very well written and the characters are all IC. I like it very much. Your dialogue is clear and engaging.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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