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Reviews for Squidbait Returns

LookFar 2006.08.28 - 03:55PM 7: Forced Company Signed
Nice, snappy repartee. Athene is a real person. In my mind she looks like Helena Bonham Carter. And Snape *was* pressing his thigh against hers, wasn't he? He seems to find an awful lot of reasons to touch her...

LookFar 2006.08.27 - 05:40PM 6: Distractions Signed
"The bottle was empty. No wonder there had been so little clarity lately. He leaned against the mantel of his fireplace, cradling his forehead in one of his large hands." Adorable! I hope she continues to trouble his peace.

LookFar 2006.08.26 - 09:30PM 5: Night Terrors Signed
This is just great. A cool idea -- so, oh, Woody Allenish -- to insert Athene into Snape's Worst Memory, just after the cameras stopped rolling. I especially like the disquiet she gives him, as here: "Why? Why did she have to be at Hogwarts now, forcing him to relive these memories and question his behavior from so long ago? Why had he wanted to lick her earlobe? " And, of course, I hope she will give him a way out as well. Thanks!

LookFar 2006.08.25 - 06:05PM 4: Calming Down Signed
I like your chapter titles, too; they're very apt. Imagine Athene finding out that Severus saved her life before either knew the other...the invisible bonds, drawing them closer and closer...I'm hoping she won't give herself away too soon...make him ask, no, BEG, dear -- make him beg. This is very imaginative, and Athene is NO Mary Sue.

LookFar 2006.08.25 - 09:30AM 3: Burning Up Signed
Ah, he hates her and he wants her. An excellent set-up! I love the way he remembers her old, hated nickname in revenge for her using his. You have a great sense of plot. And this: "His black robes swirled about him as he strode off down the corridor. The portraits, who had been eavesdropping as usual, quickly averted their eyes, but not before they saw the little smirk of satisfaction on the face of the Potions master." That's just so excellently put together.

LookFar 2006.08.25 - 09:30AM 3: Burning Up Signed
Ah, he hates her and he wants her. An excellent set-up! I love the way he remembers her old, hated nickname in revenge for her using his. You have a great sense of plot. And this: "His black robes swirled about him as he strode off down the corridor. The portraits, who had been eavesdropping as usual, quickly averted their eyes, but not before they saw the little smirk of satisfaction on the face of the Potions master." That's just so excellently put together.

LookFar 2006.08.23 - 10:03PM 2: Remembrances Signed
I'm really enjoying your prose style and your heroine. Her appetite alone is so very UN-Mary-Sue-like. Love the idea of a chameleon, and, of course, her father's rejection sets her up to be attracted to Snape. You play with the Potterverse with wit and skill.

LookFar 2006.08.23 - 07:00PM 1: Arrivals and Breakfast Signed
Review after the very first section. "Those seated nearby heard him mumbling, "wait for it, wait for it," under his breath." You have me laughing after the first paragraph! And Aurors Without Borders! That's precious. I came here through the TPMM discussion of Seminal SS/OFC fics, and I'm delighted already.

Gardengrrl13 2006.07.03 - 02:37AM 33: The Return of Squidbait Signed
Wonderful! Outstanding! Nifty, even!!! I absolutely adore this story. I like your Snape, I like your OFC... escpecially the part where she is just as tainted and has sinned as much as he. I read it through from the beginning, and must say it was a pleasant way to spend my afternoon and evening. Cheers! I hope there are more stories coming soon! GG

firstsavaial 2006.07.01 - 08:21AM 33: The Return of Squidbait Signed
I really liked this story. You had clear separations of action that blended together in the most opportune ways. I read so much fanfiction that is empty description and miserly plot; yours was a breath of fresh air. I felt you remained true to Snape's character and created an OC that was strong and believable. Good work!

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