Reviews for A Befitting Punishment Can Be Sweet
Netsbar |
2019.03.02 - 02:01AM |
1: The Incredible Miss Noxcycneus |
Signed |
Are you really going to give up just because you were gaffed? Well, since you are a writer who apparently can't take criticism, I suppose there's little point in offering you my advice. Shame, because you wouldn't be that bad a writer without the blatant Mary Sueisms and Snape rape.
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SeverusSnapeLover |
2008.07.15 - 08:41AM |
3: The Apprentice's Dream |
Signed |
I Love The Tension Between Harriet And Snape. I Want To Here More!!!! I Would Love A Scene Ideally With Harriet And Snape Arguing About Their Emotions For Each Other. I Think That Would Be A Good Scene To Read |
timeturner |
2008.02.07 - 02:35PM |
1: The Incredible Miss Noxcycneus |
Signed |
this is such a good story, i don't understand why you stopped writing. what does "gaffed" mean? |
Amaya |
2008.01.22 - 04:53PM |
1: The Incredible Miss Noxcycneus |
Signed |
I am going to be brutally honest because I think you have potential to be a good story-writer. I found the first chapter almost embarrassing to read due to several things. Firstly, your original charachter seemed as though she was created with the author trying to hard to make her Snape-ish, or Snape-compatible. Don't get me wrong.. when OC's are used well, I very much enjoy them... I use them often myself. This one seems the Slytherin "Hermione", a teacher's pet who excells at this and that.
The next thing is smaller, but no less irritating... students aren't allowed to bring snakes to school. It seemed unnecissary, as if just one more thing to make her Snape-ish/compatible.
The next... a death eater at 5? Highly doubtful. She wouldn't even have a wand at that point, and I doubt the Dark Lord would find a 5 year old very useful. Which brings me to my next, and last point.
Some statements and feelings described were highly OOC. I doubt Snape would feel sorry for a stranger, I doubt any of the staff would use the word "bint", and I can't see why your OC would tell Dumbledore off one moment, then have tea and conversation with him and the rest of the staff the next.
The story had potential to be interesting, (I see you've stopped writing it, if I am correct? I'm new, so I'm still trying to find my way around... hard to tell.) and your writing is comprehensive and fairly intelligent... I can see no reason why you should be making such blatent mistakes. With that I leave you with words of encouragement... I do feel as if you will improve, and hope you keep writing, even if you did get "gaffed". |
Slytheringurl |
2006.07.29 - 08:20PM |
3: The Apprentice's Dream |
Signed |
I thought this story to be well, i's different from others but in a sense its well written, has a plot, a bit romantic, and includes Snape. why did you stop writing? I mean look at J.K her story was once rejected by professional publishing business or something like that but now look. These people who said you were 'gaffed' are people who are just very bored and looking for stores to say rude things about. I went on the site and it seems like none of them even wrote a story, I may be mistaken but its looks like so. If you enjoy writing go ahead, just forget about them. |
Hex |
2006.06.10 - 01:23AM |
1: The Incredible Miss Noxcycneus |
Signed |
This story was very sexy to read. Do you ever dream of what you write? Hell I would! Great work. |
tigger4will |
2006.05.26 - 01:04PM |
3: The Apprentice's Dream |
Signed |
wow- well, I definately wish there was more to the story......I'll be checking to see if you have added more chapters!!
I am constantly amazed at the talent on this website.... I have my own "stories" in my head, but can't write them myself. |
kirka |
2005.08.29 - 12:39PM |
1: The Incredible Miss Noxcycneus |
Signed |
Are you going to complete this story at all? |
Secret Apprentice |
2005.08.10 - 04:05AM |
3: The Apprentice's Dream |
Signed |
Absolutely wonderful! Please let me know when the continuence is up, hp_lover_010@hotmail.com |
Viper |
2005.07.23 - 01:15PM |
3: The Apprentice's Dream |
Signed |
Are you really going to give up just because you were gaffed? Well, since you are a writer who apparently can't take criticism, I suppose there's little point in offering you my advice. Shame, because you wouldn't be that bad a writer without the blatant Mary Sueisms and Snape rape. |
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